I Hate It

i dont do it all the time, i'll just have times when i cant cope and i'll do it for a few weeks and then it stops.

i used to do it on my forarm and upper arm, but then i started on my wrists. i have scars right down my right arm and wrist and on my left wrist. i dont uncover them. the ones on the left wrist arent very visable, so i only wear a wristband on my right wrist, but i hate wearing it cos i know what people think when they see it, and after a coulple of people pointed it out that they new why i wore it, it made me unbelievable paranoid. now i think that everyone is looking at the band and thinking, 'you stupid girl, why do stuff like that?' and i hate it, but i cant take it off, the scars and cuts are too visable, and probably will never fade. one of my friends once told me i cant keep my arms covered up forever, which is true, but i cant uncover them in front of people, its just too obvious.

i do it to relieve myself, to get rid of negative thoughts. i'll cut rather deeply, so the blood will just run down my hand, and i will let it bleed until ive done it enough to feel like ive punished myself and relieved myself as much as is needed. it makes me feel ill to do, but i need to do it, ive thought things that i shouldnt have and have so many things inside that need to be replaced with another kind of pain.......cutting helps relieve the emotional pain, for a while atleast, i may regret after, but then i just think theres no point in regretting, cos it will never change what i did, and i just leave it, do it again the later on in the day or next day if i have to...........i just cant help it.

sezy sezy
18-21, F
1 Response Aug 20, 2007

same and i understand what yall are going through and because i dont care what people think i dont cover mine up if yall dont mind me asking do yall parents know as it can make yall feel awkward if they do but it also means that i know and can help as there is other ways to deal with things for example i have minmized the cutting and i do boxing to relieve my stress and anger thing like that and running are really good to relieve stress also just walking also helps