I Don't Want to Be Gay

i really don't, i want a wife and kids and i want to make love to my wife. i was normal and i didn't want to be attracted to guys. it makes me sad and i feel so alone. when i was in 8th grade i was molested and ever since i have been attracted to guys. i hate it, and i hate myself for it. i want to love my wife so much that i would die without her but this wont happen if im gay, i don't know want to be. I DON'T and i don't know what to do. i wish i knew what to do....



lostandconfusedguy lostandconfusedguy
13 Responses Nov 4, 2008

Being molested by the same gender does really ruin some people . Maybe try and let it all out , go crazy, party ,
Let loose . But you can't repress it , repression makes things stronger . Let me know if you want any specific advice

I was married ..kids...came out when I was thirty...worst mistake of my life. I've been out for 20 years and my life went down the tubes since I came out. I thought I was doing the right thing. But it was not.I destroyed NY marriage..my children and my life.I hate it so . I CH I know that one day it will cost me my sanity and my life

If your goal is to have a wife and kids, then just work towards it. Focus on it. Learning to subjugate your emotions will be a huge help.

hello lost, I know exactly how you feel, that is why god sent us jesus his son, from above, who imparts to us a new nature,t hat set us free from all the powers of sin and darkness, that is a gift, how to get it? accept it, read col, what he has done for every one an just agree with him, don't doubt and your will be set free from the old you.

And BLAMING your homosexuality on BEING MOLESTED IN 8TH GRADE is just silly...

Did you ONLY start feeling gay attractions AFTER that? think hard on this...

I HIGHLY doubt your homosexuality or LIBIDO started "only after I was molested by a man." That's the oldest, dumbest explanation in THE BOOK for "how people become gay", usually promulgated by HOMOPHOBIC CONSERVATIVES who conflate being gay w/ **********.

Ask yourself: WHY do I wanna not be gay so much? What is it about BEING STRAIGHT AND HAVING A FAMILY THAT SEEMS SO ENTICING? Are you basing this on REAL info or stereotypes of "what real families are like" as well as TV/MOVIE VERSIONS OF "FAMILY LIFE"??

You DO know that in many parts of the world (and the US), it IS possible to RAISE A FAMILY ALL THE SAME WITH A GAY PARTNER...? Please tell me you're NOT THIS IGNORANT?

obvious left-wing troll is obvious -_-

Did you even listen to what you said? You can't have a natural birth and pregnancy with another man and adopting is not the same. Women smell, feel, look, think, and even put off a different feel than men. The feeling of a woman "releasing" on you is unexplainable unless you actually feel it. You trying to say that someone is dumb for feeling that it's wrong to be gay is hypocritical. Society says that your dumb to feel that its right to be gay. We all (including myself) need to accept that there are gay and straight men and women in the world. It shouldn't even be called straight because that makes it seem divergent from the norm. I hate that I am gay now not because I think being gay is bad but because I miss the way women make me feel.

"Man" up, assclown

"Woe is me!" emo much? Stop WHINING and just accept who you are! Why does it matter what orientation you are? As long as you're HAPPY...

I don't think you're as gay as you claim. You're probably bi but don't feel ROMANTIC attraction to guys but find yourself f*cking "one too many" of em and not going after relationships w/ women.

Or you're just some right-wing, straight dipsh*t trying to stir sh*t.

dont speak for this guy. Y ou dont know his entire history. He may have been belittled <br />
, shamed and more malesurvivor.org

thank you! Finally someone has his best interest in mind!!!

Wish I knew that too

I don't like saying this, but if and when you act on your gay instincts, hating yourself for it, you are going to hurt the man that you have sex with, if he begins to like you. Not only what you are doing to yourself is not fair, but think about those secret partners that you will be hurting as well.. Trust me, I am openly gay and the person I love is closeted. I had to get him out of my life because he is so ashamed of what he is which is insulting to me because I am gay and damn happy about it because it is me. I was molested as a kid and I knew I was gay long before that ever happened so don't use that as an excuse. You are what you are so be man enough to BE who you are. There are far worse problems in the world.

Beautifulboy I'm sorry you had to go through that, but your completely wrong. People who say that HAVE IN FACT BEEN THERE, and saying other wise was very judgmental of you.

I was raped and molested practically every day for eight years, I reclaimed my life I had to because I would have died otherwise, you can't hate yourself for any reason if you are going to go on. And as hard as this sounds you have to do this, others can help, in fact they are essential, talk to people though not god you need an actual response not an imagined one, I have heard so many say things like 'give it to god' don't, people who say that don't understand what victims have been through, talk to a real person, but it has to be you being strong and not letting the evil ones of this world win. <br />
<br />
I will listen if needed<br />
<br />
Be strong<br />
<br />

oh gosh you poor guy :( I'm glad you've gotten help and are feeling better now!! :)

You really should talk to someone about that. These kinds of things dont just go away, and who knows, maybe talking to someone about what happened to you will help clear up some confusion in your head.

*taps on heart button furiously, hoping it will let me heart your comment several times* :)

Give it to God, ask him to heal the wounds that happened to you when you were in 8th grade. He knows your heart. He wants you to be set free of this just as much, if not more, than you do. =)