Helplessness

I've been depressed for over four years now. Since then I've self injured on and off. I go through phases where I'll either burn, cut, starve myself or combinations of the three. About a year into my depression, I felt so hopeless and suicidal and I'd cut multiple times a day every single day for months. At this time I knew I needed help so I reached out to my friends who were scared and confused as to why I was doing this. With absolutely no support from them, I told my mother everything. She tried to help me by bringing me to a therapist but I felt it wasn't helping me much, so I lied in order to end my treatment. Now, for the past few years I've still been struggling with this depression daily and can't seem to help myself. My mom knows how bad my self injury is, but she doesn't seem to care enough to take me back to a doctor. I feel so helpless because even when I reach out to people for help I get shut down. My depression is extremely complicated, so I won't get into the reasons for it, but I just don't know what to do anymore. Nothing makes this helplessness go away, and I don't know how to help myself, especially when I have no support system and no one seems to care about what I'm going through..
Brennnnnaxd Brennnnnaxd
22-25
3 Responses May 22, 2012

I will definitely try it :)

u should try n start writing/...thet way u will be able to keep track of ur feelings....when u very happy write y n how u feel, when u very sad wriite y ...just let the pen touch the paper n flow...no thinking just keep writing.....it helps...at least it helps me i hope it works on u too....tc

hey i hope u feeling better these few days....i know how it gets when u r shut down when u reach out for help...cos u r helpless to right....if u like to tlk about stuff u can always mail me....i know how important it is to have someone to tlk to at times like this it really helps. n i know am no therapist but am somone hus been thru a phase like urs n still going thru things.....anytime am hre i will reply....feel free....u can reach out to me....i will try not to fail u....:) tc hope life gets better...

Thank you for your support. It's really a day by day process. Some days are great and I feel completely find, other days I find it hard to recall why I keep myself going.. I guess that's just how it is.