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Most Of The Time

i really miss cutting it was like my version of comin home and having a drink i cant even say its a bad thing. the only thing left are scars and so far ive been able to pass them off as oh i did that a long time ago. but i really miss doing it every day. watching the blood drip is just wonderful. its like a drug. fml
tehkittehh tehkittehh 18-21, F 4 Responses Sep 19, 2012

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It is like a drug. You are an addict and the want will never go away. You need to replace it with another way to get the high. Might sound a bit stupid, but you might find ************ to be a good replacement. Or any spiritualism, getting a religious high. Find something else to replace it...does not matter what. As long as it shifts the want to something non-destructive.

well i started drinking and taking valium does that count?

You want to feel control...you get that with cutting. You also get the high and the numbness after. Actually drinking and Valium are a good next step. lol Because they don't give you the same control or high or escape. Take the pain and use it to push through. Just bite and don't let go... :) These posts you put here...they are part of the process. They are a sign that you are fighting. Some of the dark **** I had in my head.....everyone thought I was going to off myself. But they did not see in me the power I had to keep going...... see that in your yourself. Your power to keep moving in the ****.

i only post on here cuz i have no one who cares about me in the least. ppl say they do even my husband says he cares but he doesnt give me 2 seconds during the day... i have no one left...

But see...that is what I am getting to...who gives a ****. You are the only one who can break or make yourself. **** them. You do it. You change what you have to change. If you are at the point you want to off yourself. **** who cares. You really have all the power to role the dice. Just do what YOU have to do to save yourself. Stop looking to them. Go entirely into yourself and heal yourself. Let them deal with the fall out. It is time to change the game...because your soul is getting ****** in the current deal. Does not matter if you are right or wrong. If you are dead there would be no resolution one way or the other. So play a harder game of life.

but if theres no one to care about me why should i care about myself? and if theres no one who cares why bother living? you basically just proved my point. i have nothing to live for

Feel your body....feel the marvelous machine.....the blood flowing through you...the eyes darting back and forth.....the human body is a lovely miracle....and you are lucky enough to have one!!! Feel your senses.....:) Touch something, smell something, eat something, watch something, hear something.... What more do you ask for?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPxXSf9xvAk&list=AL94UKMTqg-9BO0mvKQHXXSc9l00s2uKN7

i cant feel anything its ******* pointless... youre wasting your time you know...

No.....I am not wasting my time at all.....nothing happens quickly......slowly....slowly....very slowly......we change.......one day you wake up and see.....you are not the same. You just don't see the process. All of us....every day try to make sense of things....try to find the joy. It is not just about you. It is about all of us. There is seldom anything ever lost is trying to touch upon another. It is those attempts to connect out of ourselves that make us sane. That keep us alive. However, to get there, we have to create and control those actions. No one else can.

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I feel the same way. I think about it like almost everyday.

I feel the same...

its an very bad addiction so dont cop in that way..it will hurt in the future..only time will tell :)