"Too, Sensitive", Huh? Well, Maybe They Are "Insensitive"?
Hi, y'all. The other day I sent this total ESSAY on "sensitivity" to individuals but I need to post it as my flagship intro. to this experience group, since I frequently get that comment (about ME) and resent that it generally has a NEGATIVE connotation. So then, I want to share my ALTERNATE philosophy/perspective on being sensitive with as many "sensitive" people as I can, and this seems like the place to do it. See what you think of this. It's a long read but really worth it in my opinion. I mean HSP is one thing but please don't let yourself be classified as having some sort of social disorder just because ******** like to step on you with minimal friction!
I think that there are instances where people can be "over-sensitive" but I have to say that the line about what is and isn't too sensitive can be all over the map, depending on your own personal level of sensitivity.
I acknowledge that I'm a sensitive person. I also have to acknowledge that there are multitudes of people in this society that are plain INSENSITIVE, which is of course the flipside. If two people are not on the same page about their levels of sensitivity, it can lead to a lot of blaming.
"Oh God, you're so sensitive!", vs.
"It's normal to be sensitive if you're being treated callously. If you weren't being insensitive to me then you wouldn't be saying that."
If two sensitive people get together, then they are sensitive NOT ONLY about themselves but also are likely sensitive to their partner's needs. This in my opinion is the normal state of a human being. EVERYONE is sensitive. Society and BUSINESS tends to make people repress it. Feelings are not PRODUCTIVE or CONVENIENT, but they are HUMAN. Since people that can't think for themselves always look to authority to dictate their morals, they tell you you're too sensitive because callousness (which flows down from business superiors), is the standard of human interaction. In this day, people are mostly corporate slaves, so they accept that their person and even their very behavior is the property of the employer. Hell, you could easily be fired for fervently venting the wrong opinion, can't you? The fact that callousness in human interaction is considered the norm is in fact an understatement. You are UTTERLY EXPENDABLE, as a human being. You might as well be a robot for all they care.
So, here's something with a little sensitive emotional charge for you: "You're damn right I'm sensitive and guess what? I'm proud of it!" If people weren't such robots they wouldn't go to a place where they're putting me down for it when in fact they happen to be the offending party in many instances.
Of course there IS such a thing as overreacting and getting overly sensitive. BUT frequently the more callous individual is ACTUALLY doing something unacceptable, and hurtful.
If you stand me up for a date, don't call and have no better reason than you had to take care of some other stuff, and then I get to find out later THAT IS BEING disrespectful, cold-hearted, selfish and decidedly INSENSITIVE. I am not going to sit there and be criticized for being TOO SENSITIVE. NO NO NO. You'd better check yourself.
I'd far rather deal with a person who's sensitive. At least then I can console them. An insensitive person is impossible. They're generally arrogant about their behavior and don't want to hear the flipside. They refuse to take responsibility for their callous, maybe even ruthless behavior patterns. They'd rather take the cop-out route, which of course invalidates my feelings but so what?
That being said, I also want to acknowledge there are people I consider hyper-sensitive, even by my standards, and I have had to acknowledge that I have been too sensitive, overreacted to things and even jumped to "paranoid" conclusions. HOWEVER, I also see a LOT of people using the coined phrase "too sensitive" as an excuse for their inexcusable behavior. DON'T LET THEM!
I have a lot of charge on this topic since it's been a point of contention in my last two significant relationships. Sorry but I'm not going to be used as the scapegoat for being perfectly human, so you can be in denial about your ruthlessness. How convenient for you that I'm TOO SENSITIVE!!
-- A proud sensitive person's perspective.