I have a boyfriend and we've been a year together ,first we are both happy and contented to each other. I can feel the love. But then one day I found out about his past,about his ex-girlfriend which the girl she loves the most before me. For me the girl is beautiful,even if others say's she's not. After that matter that I found out about his ex, I can feel the changes,maybe yes I know that he loves me, but I always feel that I am not who he need. And I can always feel that he still love his ex-girlfriend,though he always say's that he love me so much. But still the insecurity and jealousy about his past/ex-gf really breaks my heart. What should I going to do..His past really bothers me..
jaznie jaznie
22-25, M
5 Responses Aug 21, 2014

There is a reason why it's his ex they are done and to him you are the most beautiful woman and that's what matters dont ruin your relation because of his ex that's the past think about all the wonderful things that will happen to you both and dont stress over this maybe if it's really bothering you talk to him about it

ERM lime, sweetie its a guy love guy tread...

thank you..hope if i will ask him he will answer me a true answer..

If you love him you'd trust him knowing he only loves you and you've been together for so long, he wouldn't have stayed if he loved his ex more. And yeah it's not a crime to be jealous but maybe you should talk to him about it and get it off your chest

thank u..hope he cares if i ask him about my feelings.

If he loves you he will care and he will tell you not to worry because you are all he loves and if he doesn't then it wasn't meant to be but I hope it is and you two can move on from this and be happy

OK....listen Hun....let me tell you this: You say you love each other , you cant let this get in the way or it will eat you alive. I dont care where you go or what you do in life, theres always gonna be another "ex " or FIRST that came before you. Theres always gonna be that bigger and better personality at the office, that prettier girl on the block, that sweeter more giving person that everyone loves. ...Dont fret about stuff like that because in that theres always gonna be someone that can do something one step above you, theres also gonna be that one behind you that you have to try to do right by.....
My parents always said ... " Its not how much you make or how successful you....Its how good your heart is and how good you treat others"
relax and feel his love and forget about her . Best wishes!!

thank u for that.it really inspires me..

The question is which boyfriend are you in love with The Past One or The One Now

If u love someone, than why not let his past go? Are you in love with who he used to be or who he is now?

i love him for who he is now.. but i always feel that he still love his ex-girlfriend..and it really bothers me.

That feeling is going to destroy your relationship. That feeling is called a trust issue.

what should I do to preserve our relationship..I love him so much..But there is part of my mind that I have to let him go..coz I'm afraid.

You answered your own question.

Lose the past image and keep him at your side. Its easier than you think.

Or leave him cause you can't trust him.

Choose is yours. I can't tell you what to do.

thank u so much..

Dont. Im tellin ya, Dont. Are you sure your not just trying to push him away?
Are, or were Things going so well that you started pushing him away because you're afraid of being hurt?

yes honestly I am afraid of hurt..

Be honest and open, if its really that much of a problem for you, you have to let him know ASAP. But I think you should first try to focus on yourself and find inside yourself why you are afraid and why this really upsets you. As another person said it is a trust issue, and that's something that you need to decide if you can do or not, truly trust him.

Whatever you do just please don't string someone along if you aren't sure, its not fair to anyone.

I told him already,but he always answer me doubtful answer..

Is what he saying really doubtful or is it factual and you doubt it?

i don't know,I will tell you why I feel like this.one day my boyfriend invite me to went to mall he want me to choose a pants for him.one of the pants cutter in the mall is his ex gf,then I want him to let it cut in the cutting area.but he refused it he don't want it, he rather want to cut his pants outside than in mall than ..I wonder why?just because his ex is their that's why he don't want to go there.but why?
My doubtful starts in that scenario..

Sounds like he wanted to avoid being near her, or at least to avoid having the three of you in the same room.

Personally I wouldn't worry about it, I hate awkward situations and avoid them like the plague... also I have exes I would turn and run away from just to avoid having to interact with them.

Seems to me if he WANTED to see her... that would be something to possibly be concerned about.

ahh..I see..thank u..for my own opinion why he don't want to see the girl it's because he is still affected..but then you tell me about your opinion.I was enlightened by the reality.. thanks a lot..I feel so sorry for my insecurities about the girl.I should have focus for what we have today w/ my bf..

But hes with YOU. And only you. Not his ex. If he did still love her, wouldnt he have dumped you, or never gone out with you in the first place?
If Ive learned anything from my past relationships it's leave the past, in the past.

Youre awful wize for only being a young teen.....is your age right!? I have a 15 & 17 yr old & theyre very bright but ....they dont think like this. . . If it is, im absolutely thunderstruck by your intensity

You be shocked on how this teens work now a days behind the shadows of the parents!

They are growing up far too fast!

not surprized at all....i have teens! & also have grown kids w their own & its scary! They know today at 7 & 8 , what i learned naturally from life & living & loving & marriage..... But then , is that any surprize? when only a FEW short years ago , they didnt think of putting bras on tv...now they have tampons and erectile disfunction devices ..in broad daylight kid viewing time. its insane!

I know.

No wonder 14 yr olds are losing they virginities at the age they do. Today there was a post from a 12 yr old boy having relationship issues...

I didn't start thinking about that till I was 14 and that's cause everyone was talking about it...

i am already 21 yrs old..and I am already a employee..

I was in cadets firing rifles at 11. That was the 90s. Before laws of working came into play in Tue mid to late 90s it was semi OK for a minor to work.

Today minimal of 16 in most states and countries.

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