I Will Trash Myself Rather Than Let Someone Be Uncomfortable....

Well, without embarassing myself too much, I'll simply say that I cry easily, and I find it excruciating when I feel other people's discomfort. I can't even watch vids of people playing practical jokes on each other. I have tried to overcome this, with limited success. 

I am empathetic to a fault. I feel the tension, and anger, and pain of others acutely. When I worked in a hospital, it was absolutely unnerving, I felt everything, especially the fear and confusion of the new patients in the cardiac ward, waking up for the first time after an emergency surgery and not knowing why they are there and in considerable pain.  But I also feel when others are happy and that's very nice. I don't know why I am so sensitive to these things, it's like they are vibrations or something. I used to drink to numb myself to the sensory input, and all I succeeded in doing was becoming an alcoholic, as anyone who knows me will attest to. (In recovery, thanks!) Now, I try to help as best I can if a person is angry or feeling low. If they are angry at me, I try my best to understand why, and apologize if I have hurt them somehow. I know, it sounds like I'm a sniffling bag of emotions, and I guess that's pretty much what I am. I have moments of true strength, though, and I am getting better at handling my own feelings, and reacting to the feelings of others. 

Sydgrrl Sydgrrl
46-50, T
2 Responses Mar 8, 2010

I guess I should clarify, I mean to say I'm an alcoholic, but I'm a recovering one. I don't drink, and go to my meetings, and truly enjoy it. Maybe I should edit this a little, thanks for your comment!

you are simply very sensitive woman but I just don't like the fact that you've become alcoholic. you know what? I cry very easy too, some night when i lie on my bed to sleep I start crying for no reason, I feel sorry for myself, uptill now I still can't figure out the reasons, I hope you'll overcome your drinking new unpleasant habbits. I wish you the best sensitive lady