The Rebirth Is Worth The DearthThe closest thing I've ever had to a "fling" was developing a friendship that turned into more, with an adventurous lifeguard, in college. Before and after him was my first love, whom I met when we were thirteen. I once tried dating two people at once - not being intimate with either - and felt so uncomfortable "juggling" two guys that I broke up with both; leaving myself lonely and regretful, but relieved of the nagging monogamist MiniMe on my shoulder.
When I met my first husband, I appreciated his protective manliness; intelligence; honesty; generosity. He never played games and made me feel very special and wanted, always attentive and supportive; often surprising and wildly bold. We were together for 22 years before extenuating circumstances relegated us to roommate status.
Well, I was married and blew it. Other people get remarried but not ME, I declared.
Five months after my divorce I married my "soulmate" whom I'd met online. We were so compatible and he made beautiful promises about our life together, blending our families and working together in every way. Sharing everything.
He was actually a sociopath operating in a vacuum with his sick mother, unstable ex, traumatized kids, and his various personalities; none of whom were real in any way. He took, took, hurt, neglected, abused, and took until I left. And he sneered as I limped away with bits of my heart and soul, empty pockets, and a devastated spirit.
Despite all this, however, I have complete faith that I will find true love. I know that when the time is right, it will happen with someone who deserves all I have to give and will gleefully reciprocate. We will be true PARTNERS. All my pain and the patience I must have now, are what I've needed to endure to bring me to my destiny - and this woman and one very special man are going to be one very ecstatic couple!
girlcapitol 41-45, F 12 Responses 6 Mar 19, 2011