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My Husband Is Tired Of Me...

...because he's known me too long (we've been married for 22 years), I am too familiar, and he "needs a 'professional' who is young and exciting." Really. I am supposed to be okay with this. The truth of the matter is that I have a job and he doesn't and he knows that he cannot afford to support himself.

I realize that this whole situation is disgraceful, inexcusable, and shameful on his part. I have been saving up my money so that I can afford to leave as soon as possible. I have a bit of debt to pay off and then I'm out of there. I used to feel sorry for him because I really cared about him. Just because
he's decided that he "needs other women to be haaaapppy," I don't all of a sudden hate him. Now I just need to be away from him and leave him to his own life.

I have come to realize that there are no good men for me. I agree that there are lots of good, wonderful men, many of whom are husbands, but no one for me. All I seem to attract are users: Do you know how to cook? Do you have a good job? Do you have any money? Are you a good housekeeper? Will you take care of me and my immediate surroundings so I don't have to do anything?

Once I leave my sorry excuse for a marriage I will be alone for the rest of my life. I've had it. I don't agree that there is someone for everyone. I'm past 40, about 5 pounds overweight, have plain brown hair, and don't have a lot of money. I'm very nice and friendly and a good listener and a good cook, but have nothing to offer anyone. I'm just like thousands of nice women who "just aren't good enough" because we aren't fashion model- millionaires. I really had confidence in myself at one time, but being involved with men has set me straight. I just want to go and live in a cave someplace and commune with kindly woodland animals and trees and lakes and rocks.
elmajackson elmajackson 41-45 5 Responses Mar 4, 2011

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damn. I can't seem to get a break in life. The one good paying job I ever found laid me and two thousand other people off. My wife says she hates me and doesn't want to be with me. I can't find any way out. This guy doesn't know how good he could have it if he could just be faithful to his wife. Idiot.

You are good enough. Seriously, there are men out there who will appreciate you. I know the hit to the self-confidence is bad, I was there not all that long ago. As a plan, you might consider the counselling first. The hatred you feel won't help you when you set up your own life again, you'll just be easy bait. Be ready for the world and find out if you repair your own self if you still love him at all.

The best thing you can do for yourself is to dump the bum. Loose the extra 5 pounds you don't want and go have some fun. Get some counseling to help you with you poor self image. Don't let the things that that jerkwad you are married to ruin you. I bet you are attractive and he has just convinced you that you are unattractive so that he can keep you under his thumb and his control. <br />
Tell hi if he need a professional who is young and exciting he can have one but just know that when he gets back from his fun the door locks will be changed and he will be getting divorce papers.

Boy has your husband done a number on you, and you've let him. You can have a lot to offer if you want to. It time to stop the pity party, While he is a bum, the issue you need to face is if you want to give yourself to a relationship in the future or be a taker only. A woman 40 and only 5 pounds over weight who is down on her appearance really needs to get out of the downer relationship, get counseling and plan to ENJOY her life. That may or may not include another person, but the way you are headed it won't be much fun unless you invest in yourself and your image.

I don't blame you for wanting a time-out, but I hope you consider counseling. Why do you have such low self-esteem and why you settle for the users? That would be important to figure out as you move forward and kick the *** to the curb.