Is There A Support Group For Spouses Of Asexuals?

I'm honestly in too much pain to share my whole story. The bottom line is my wife and I have been together for more than a decade, and she shows absolutely no attraction for me and no sexual desire for me. She will not kiss or even touch me in an intimate manner. 

This is all particularly hurtful because my wife was somewhat promiscuous before we were together. In fact, she would have raunchy sex with guys after knowing them for a matter of hours. But not with me... I think she would rather get divorced than have sex with me.

You might wonder if I'm a physically repulsive fellow, but women generally think of me as attractive, and I enjoyed a healthy dating and sex life before my marriage. I keep myself extremely fit because my body is the only body I have sexual access to. Nothing I do, however, will ever turn my wife's head.

I've never read any hopeful posts on any message boards for "sexual" spouses of "asexuals." If there isn't any program or protocol that allows sexuals to have their sexual needs met within their marriages, then what is the eventual outcome of these relationships?

I am desperately seeking a real life support group that I could join. Are there support groups for spouses of asexuals?

 

Integrity10 Integrity10
41-45, M
5 Responses Mar 12, 2010

www.spasupport.org is now a repair site for hot tubs. But there is http://www.asexuality.org/en/index.php?/topic/48750-support-groups-for-sexual-partners-of-asexuals/<br />
although I haven't been able to navigate any meaningful connections there or here. Wish I could!

Well, I've finally done it! Looking around the Internet last week, I could find absolutely no support organizations for sexuals in long-term relationships with asexuals. So, I started one! I launched the site on March 12, 2010. The web site can be found at: http://www.spasupport.org.<br />
<br />
"Sexual Partners of Asexuals" may sound like an oxymoron. This phrase refers to individuals who would consider themselves to be "sexual," yet find theselves in a long-term relationship with an "asexual." Such relationships can be highly problematic, resulting in tremendous stress, frustration, and hardship for both the sexual and the asexual partner. Given that there are numerous support organizations for asexuals, the spasupport organization is dedicated to providing support to the sexual partner within a sexual-asexual relationship. <br />
<br />
This is done in a context that recognizes asexuality as a sexual orientation, and in an environment that provides both sexuals and asexuals dignity and respect.

Well in a way, this group is such a group. I am sure many of are in the situation we are in because our spouses are asexuals..<br />
<br />
james

OK, I guess I can't link. The group number is 263968

Has she said that she is asexual? Have you talked with her about why she won't have sex with you?<br />
<br />
There is a support group here on EP.<br />
EP Link