I Am a Sexual Abuse Survivor
When my father was around i was a daddy's girl, i had everything i needed, was secured financially, and he was very protective with me. i felt safe around him and i loved him very much. He was taken to prison years back, after he was taken to prison my mom met who is my step-father right now...
Since i was 8-16 i had been sexually abused by this man.... i was young, but i knew what the love of a father was.. i knew that being loved as a child was suppose to make me feel protected and not letting anything nor anyone harm me. I knew that if my real dad was around this person would have been dead. He wouldnt want nobody to harm his little girl even in the smallest things... i had to live with this all for almost 9 years... every night was a night of fear.. when i would see a shadow creeping up my door i would just shut my eyes tight and cry.... feeling his filthy hands around me was a nightmare that i couldnt wake up of... time passed and he continued to do it... when he would do it there was alcohol involved.. and where was my mother when this would happen?? drunk as well not knowing what was going on... maybe thats the reason i dislike alcohol so much. Years passed and passed and it was the same story again.. i just couldnt take it anymore i tried telling my older brother and he wouldnt even bug listening to me.... i had many problems in school going through this crap. After a couple of years i decided to run away from home, left a letter to my mom saying what had happened and why i did it.. but it didnt help.. cops were looking for me until they found me. They took me back home but what a smart mother i had... she never showed the letter to law enforcement... cuz he knew that my step father would clearly go to prison. I told her everything i had been through with that man, how i hated him, and how much he damaged me.... little did i know that she wouldnt believe me... that she believed him over me.... his excuse was that he was drunk and he never meant to do it. Lies, lies, lies.... how in the world do you go for 9 years abusing somebody and not knowing youre doing it??!!! When I told my sister about this... she looked at me saying that i was mad... that it was my teenage years making me say that... that all i wanted was too create problems with my mother and stepfather.... my brother did the same.... he actually added more telling me that i was a good for nothing and that maybe i was the one that came up to him... This man had everybody in his hands, oh yes he did.... i dont want to continue going cuz i'll never finish... this man hasnt payed in prison but im sure he's going to pay for it for the rest of his life... never did my father find out about this. Thing is that i still have to see this guy face to face but never can i look upon his eyes... so all i had to do was just let go of my damaged childhood because of him, as every1 else told me "it was an accident Rosie." "He never meant to do it" and till the day everyone sees him as he never did nothing.. only i have to go through the memories when i see him...i thought too myself "if i lived with this for years why cant i just be stronger and let go"... and till the day i haven't been able to close that chapter....
Since i was 8-16 i had been sexually abused by this man.... i was young, but i knew what the love of a father was.. i knew that being loved as a child was suppose to make me feel protected and not letting anything nor anyone harm me. I knew that if my real dad was around this person would have been dead. He wouldnt want nobody to harm his little girl even in the smallest things... i had to live with this all for almost 9 years... every night was a night of fear.. when i would see a shadow creeping up my door i would just shut my eyes tight and cry.... feeling his filthy hands around me was a nightmare that i couldnt wake up of... time passed and he continued to do it... when he would do it there was alcohol involved.. and where was my mother when this would happen?? drunk as well not knowing what was going on... maybe thats the reason i dislike alcohol so much. Years passed and passed and it was the same story again.. i just couldnt take it anymore i tried telling my older brother and he wouldnt even bug listening to me.... i had many problems in school going through this crap. After a couple of years i decided to run away from home, left a letter to my mom saying what had happened and why i did it.. but it didnt help.. cops were looking for me until they found me. They took me back home but what a smart mother i had... she never showed the letter to law enforcement... cuz he knew that my step father would clearly go to prison. I told her everything i had been through with that man, how i hated him, and how much he damaged me.... little did i know that she wouldnt believe me... that she believed him over me.... his excuse was that he was drunk and he never meant to do it. Lies, lies, lies.... how in the world do you go for 9 years abusing somebody and not knowing youre doing it??!!! When I told my sister about this... she looked at me saying that i was mad... that it was my teenage years making me say that... that all i wanted was too create problems with my mother and stepfather.... my brother did the same.... he actually added more telling me that i was a good for nothing and that maybe i was the one that came up to him... This man had everybody in his hands, oh yes he did.... i dont want to continue going cuz i'll never finish... this man hasnt payed in prison but im sure he's going to pay for it for the rest of his life... never did my father find out about this. Thing is that i still have to see this guy face to face but never can i look upon his eyes... so all i had to do was just let go of my damaged childhood because of him, as every1 else told me "it was an accident Rosie." "He never meant to do it" and till the day everyone sees him as he never did nothing.. only i have to go through the memories when i see him...i thought too myself "if i lived with this for years why cant i just be stronger and let go"... and till the day i haven't been able to close that chapter....
By:
roseyvonne
Age:
22-25
,
Female
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