Never Felt Real Love

it started when i was three years old. my aunt would creep into my room at night with her drug addict friends and she would watch as they molested me. when you're that young its hard to tell the difference from a good touch and a bad one. at first they would just have me touch them and give them head calling it "lollypop licking" but i guess that got boring for them. One night they came into my room and raped me, i cried and screamed but my aunt held a pillow over my face while they raped me. it happened every night until i was eight years old. at eight i went to live in my new house but somehow the abuse managed to follow me to my new home.

a sixth grader would follow me home and throw things at me and harrass me. it didnt get bad until one day the kid and his older brother followed me and grabbed me. the older brother forced me to give him head while his younger brother watched and ***********. until i was in high school they would do this to me. then when i went to high school i was abused b a football jock. i left that school and went to a new one.

i met my ex bf there and for a year delt with him absuing and beating me. during that summer i was brutally raped by a psychotic kid.

 i am finally in  a good place and have been going to therepy and taking care of myself. the flashbacks come alot and any advice on how to cope with them or help me control them would be very much appreciated.

strangerwithcandy strangerwithcandy
18-21, F
3 Responses Feb 12, 2010

So sorry this happened to you. Please know that you are not inferior, you are a diamond.

Please don't ever give up. You are beautiful and you have so much to offer this world, don't ever give up. May God bless you.

Oh my. I am so sorry. You are such a survivor. And your Aunt was a scumbag. I would love for you to message me if you ever need anything. :) I am good to talk to. I won't judge you and I love to hear people's stories.<br />
<3