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Hi, I have been though a lot, but lets get to the point. I have been sexual assaulted twice. I was four when the first happened and nine when the second one took place. I have idea on what to do. That's why I'm here so I can the help I badly need.
Sport49 Sport49 13-15 3 Responses Dec 12, 2011

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Several years ago I was sexually assaulted repeatedly by a couple that used mind games on me... "We made you feel good... we did things for you... don't you want to make us feel good in return?" I'd be happy to talk more in depth about what happened if you want. But what I want to share is the therapy that I finally found that saved my life. It sounded like hocus pocus at the time.. I held NO hope of its actually working but I was already in the office, already paying for the hour visit so I gave it a shot. Two sessions later I could actually control when I thought about what had happened to me... It doesn't erase the memories but they won't accost you in the middle of the day, in the middle of work, you won't suddenly feel them in your hands, hear their voices... It only comes up when you try to tell someone about it or try and think about it (which of course isn't often! Who wants to relive those moments for no reason?)

I had been seeing a horrible counselor. The last straw with her was her telling me I was going to hell for having sexual relations with a woman. I immediately sought out someone else, and found a Christian counselor. She said she'd be happy to work with me, but first wanted me to try a someone who specialized in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (which this really is a form of). If it didn't work, she'd meet with me. I went to him. He explained what he did and I thought it a bunch of phooey. It sounded ridiculous. But I was already there, paying for an hour session and I was DESPERATE for help so I gave it a shot. Figured it couldn't hurt. It was one of the best things I have ever done in my life and I highly suggest it to you if you've been hurt.

The therapy is called EMDR therapy... Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. There are a couple of ways it can be done... some do it by having your eyes follow a laser on a screen as you visualize what happened to you... but you have to keep your eyes open for that and I found it hard to visualize with my eyes open. The other way is to sit with your hands on your knees, palms down, and visualize, while the therapist taps the back of your hands... one then the other. They'll stop every few minutes, check on you largely because you stop breathing, you get so deeply into it. It took me two sessions and I went from a total mess to having total control. I never thought it would work but it did. I know it sounds nuts but give it a chance. Find someone who specializes in this. It's worth it!

it is not your fault that something like this happened to you. you did not deserve this. i agree with the message above.....talking about it is the first step. i am still only able to tell one person at a time....and my friends and family get no details of what happened that night....but thats ok...find a support system and if you dont have one at home we are here to help! also if you go type in sexual assault center into google you will find that there are people waiting to answer questions that people have and be there for support. and if you need more they have a phone number right on the website that you can call 24 hours a day....i have used it a few times myself :) and lastly know that you are not alone. there are so many people who have to go through stuff like this...and YOU are strong and can overcome this!

What happened to you was wrong, you were too young to be able to do anything or even understand the implications of what was happening, it was clearly abuse. But it's great that you're starting to be able to talk about it. Unfortunately people can never change what's happened, but it really does help to talk about it, and in time you can hope to change how you feel about it. I'm really sorry this happened to you... I think if possible find someone to talk to about it, a counsellor or therapist, or someone else. I hope you're ok. If you even want to talk to someone online feel free to message me. What happened was bad but it's not your fault. I really do hope you're ok... Sincerely, a pile of skin but one that cares :)