Shopping Fills a Void

I understand. I am now on a pension and this limited income has bought its challenges.

My sister also now exists on this income, we were BOTH big shopaholics. She maxed out several cards and is paying them off slowly.

Now, we enjoy the challenge of shopping for bargains in op shops and second hand bookshops. We go out for the day and see who can come home with the best bargain and who can spend the least. We do this only once a week.

So maybe shop with a buddy .

We also on our 'broke' days, just hire a dvd and buy a block of chocolate to enjoy at home

Thanks for sharing this with us. Deep down it seems you really want the best for your kids. I hope things are getting better for you and your family.

Thanks for sharing this with us. Deep down it seems you really want the best for your kids. I hope things are getting better for you and your family.

May be you could try to take some adult courses that "bridge" or help prepare you for college. You mentioned that you feel you are under educated. This would be a good hobby and also be a good example for your children.

I understnd your frustration, I too like to shop for my 4 year daughter named "Nialah" I had her late in life. I was 36 when she was born. I am now 41 years of age and she is 4. I want to buy this little girl anything that she point's at. I actually life my life thru my little girl. I am the oldest of four, all girls. I come from a middle class family. We did not have a lot of money back than, but my need for material things got out of hand even as a teenager. I wanted to look pretty at all times. I wanted the best of everything. I was spoiled and because I was the oldest, I seemed to always get more. I buy my daughter things that I always wanted as a child. Her room is so filled up with dolls and doll houses. Clothing and just anything that her little heart desires. I shop when I am depressed. When I heard that Micheal Jacksons died I went on a shopping spare. I did not need the items that I brought but just made me feel good for the time being. You are really just going to have to learn to "Want What You Have" and "Not Have What You Want.

I totally understand. Even when you know you really don't have the money.. it's nothing like being able to shop for your little ones. I think it helps US not to feel so bad about the unecessary spending that we tend to do and do so well. Often times it's just that we are trying to fill a void of some kind... shopping is ours. Just as food is for others.

I am a sahm mom as well... I have done so. God forbid something should happen... I think it's a perfect opportunity for you to futher your education.. they will see how hard mommie is working.

Okay, you want to set an example for your kids, right? Over spending and hurting your dept is not a way to show any good example for them. Remember, what they learn as kids will follow them through the rest of their adult lives. If you feel down, go for a walk. Invest in some really great walking shoes Nike Shox are the only ones I use, and have an Ipod, MP3, something to help you listen to your most favorite tunes. Hey, it gives you an excuse to spend money. Then, use it! Go for a walk for about thirty to forty minutes at least five days a week. Both mentally and physically you will feel better. I swear it. It is amazing how the chemicals in your brain work when you work out. I'm sure you still love your husband, it sounds like you are both in a lack of communication. You have to start to change your physical and mental state. I am speaking from experience. I was a size 5 at 5'9" and very muscular when I met my husband. Then I put on about 100 pounds in five years! One thing we still have is comunnication and we bond very well with that. He tells me how much he wants me thin or atleast healthy. I have started working out about seven months ago on and off. The last three weeks I have completly changed my diet I have two whey protien and frozen fruit shakes twice daliy and eat healthy. I also take Alli if I want something bad and it works by cut out half the fat you intake (litteraly). Look into it. I work out now two days on and one day rest throught the whole month constantly, no excuses. If you follow that two days on one day rest too, you will be working out five days a week and you will not burn out so quickly and get bored either. My body is finally coming back! My energy is different. I used to avoid looking in mirrors or seeing my reflection in a window when I am out. Now, I look at myself and I am in shock at how much I have toned up and shed fat. And I still have maybe seventy more pounds to lose. But, I feel this good regardless of my weight number because I know I will be thin and hot again and I see new small results everyday.

I too would shop to fill voids. Now I workout and eat better because I do not feel good about myself if I don't. You doing this simple and free act of working out and eating right will give you something to stop filling your voids. Investing in a hobby does not always mean spending money. Go for bike rides with your kids. You said your kids are your life, that is fantastic. But, what about your own life. Living through your daughter is unhealthy not just for you but for her as well. Stop whining about this and start walking. I mean that in the most positivly get up and do it attitude. If you do physical activities with your kids such as walks, biking, playing a game of basketball with them, board games and other activites that don't have to cost anything, your kids will pass that down to their kids as well. Your shopping and over eating is showing your kids it is okay to spend and eat your depression and insecurities away. This will lead to your kids health risks and problems in their marriage as well. If you start moving your body and eating better your focus will mostly turn to that new lifestyle and you will be feeling better about yourself which in return your husband will be wanting his wife, too. Then, your next focus in shopping will be for naughty langerie and condoms, maybe even sex toys! ;) Seriously, take it from somebody who knows exactly where you are coming from. Make that change in your life by walking everyday. The effects chemically happen immdiatly and then you begin to change. Studies have shown instead of sitting and talking about your problems get up and physically do something. I have always believed that. This is why I want to personal train people. Make people realize they can't sit to cure depression. Get up woman, and go out and feel good physically and mentally today!

A helpful hint for good modivation is buy a women's fitness magazine, and study it.

Thanks Causeiuhgotta. From the 2 therapists and one psychiatrist I have seen they have never even mentioned Bipolar Disorder. It seemed to me they would basically go over checklists of symptoms or something..and maybe because I was not having the major mood swings that seem to be associated with BD, they labeled me as more so as having "dysthymia", or long term major depressive disorder. I have been on a few different antidepressents, but I can not say they have helped me one bit with my shopping addiction. Shopping does not really even bring me joy anymore either. Why do I still do it? I dont have a damn clue.