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I Am Addicted To Spending Money.

 

 

I want to write about how I overcame (well, how I am overcoming) my addictions.  An addicted person must reach “rock bottom” to become aware of the fact that they have a problem, but once they can acknowledge their problem, the only place to go is up.  As Tyler Durden would say, “It’s only after you’ve lost everything that you’re free to do anything.”  I don’t know how I overcame my compulsive addiction to spend money.  There were no “Debtors Anonymous” meetings or counseling sessions with the purpose of uncovering a traumatizing childhood experience while laying on a couch.  There were, however, appointments with my mother and a psychiatrist, as well as prescriptions for antidepressants and amphetamines, which, in retrospect, seem to have fixed nothing. 

I have attributed my addiction to symptoms of anxiety and OCD, which I was diagnosed with in 4th grade.  I was also diagnosed with ADD in 4th grade, but when no medicine was found to effectively relieve my symptoms, I stopped taking them altogether.  Their negative effects outweighed the potential positive benefits.  At 16, I was diagnosed again and put on a new medication.  Since then, I have been switching back and forth from methylphenidate to amphetamine salts for periods of a few months to a year to keep them from losing their effectiveness.  To my family, 16 also seems to be the age I was when my compulsive “need to spend” manifested itself.

I am now nearly19 years old and $10,000 in debt.  And no, I did not buy a car or a college education with that money.  Actually, I still cannot account for many of the things I bought.  I received two credit cards in March, 2009.  One had a $1,500.00 credit limit and the other a $4,000.00 credit limit.  Now, it seems necessary to mention that these cards were issued to me two months after eighteenth birthday with no proof of income.  How many 18 year-olds do you know who fill out credit applications by answering “student” to the employment question that are capable of paying a bill for a credit card that has a $4,000 limit?  During the summer, in an attempt to help me better deal with my debt, my mother consolidated my credit card debt into a loan.  She had the intention of helping me, however, I was only able to see this as an opportunity pay off my credit card with the loan, continue making purchases with the card, and go into more debt.  Finally, last month, I reached the limit on both cards.  This left me with no choice but to cancel the accounts. 

During the summer, I had a boyfriend who acknowledged my behavior but never did anything to change it.  Besides myself, he was the only person who did not make me feel bad about how much money I was spending, so I appreciated having him around.  We broke up a week before school started.  School became a huge struggle for me, because I was dealing with a situation in which I had to meet completely new people while taking new classes and struggling with addiction and social anxiety.  At the time, I was unaware that I had a problem with spending money and even at times when I didn’t go out, I would do things like purchase “virtual” money for Facebook applications such as Farmville and order take-out.  I would purchase music on itunes, even though I knew I already had it somewhere on CD.  I had so much stuff that I could never find anything.  (Hoarding is another symptom of OCD.)  

I knew I had a problem, but I attributed it to my recent break-up and lack of a job rather than the real issue.  I became depressed and even failed my first class.   I also would frequently get into arguments with my family.  I’m normally very close to my Mom, but I would find myself lying to her about anything that had anything to do with spending money – even to the extent of lying about where I was, just in case I might possibly be in a place where money could be spent.  I would lie to my sisters or ask them to lie for me, just to hide the fact that I was spending money.  I knew it would upset my mother.  It began to construct a divide between my family, and though I know they’ll always be there for me, it was a struggle to get past the point where I was afraid of being disconnected from them forever because of my addiction.

Finally, one month, my mother asked to see my credit card bills after I received a speeding ticket (my first and hopefully only, ever.)  I’m considering this my breaking point because after that week, I haven’t had a relapse.  I cancelled the cards (which had both just reached their limit.)  It has been about a month and a half since this occurrence, and I’d like to talk more about the recovery process as well as some of the ways I’ve been able to change the way I think about things, but I’m new to this website, and  I’d like to see if I can get some feedback first.  I obviously haven’t completely recovered, I’ve still got a long way to go.  People who struggle with addictions usually do so even after treatment and recovery, but eventually I’d like to think I’ll be able to deal with my addiction without having to think so hard about it. 

Like I said, I’m new to this website, and this is something I haven’t really been able to talk about with people before.  So, if you’re struggling with a similar situation or have any feedback to give me, I would love to hear from you!  

 

 

SerafinaMorrison SerafinaMorrison 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 8, 2009

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i suffer the same..we must acknowledge our underlying feelings behind the addiction and work on them...once you start feeling better you wont try to hide or escape from them by spending or shopping..

Are you an expressive woman who somehow took a wrong financial turn and have no

idea how to find your way back? Does the secret of your compulsive spending

affect every aspect of your life? Is your debt or your spending, your gambling

or your loans, preventing you from having honest relationships with your loved

ones as well as financial freedom for yourself?

If this description fits you or a woman you know, who appears to be in their

20’s-40’s, contact us.

A team of world-renowned psychologists who specialize in debt therapy and

rehabilitation are here to help you with a new docu-series soon to be in

production.

We are looking for people who:

* Have extreme debt they are hiding from their loved ones, which puts an

insurmountable strain on those relationships. Essentially, someone “cheating”

with money!

* Parents and spouses who enable their loved one to be fiscally dependent on

them every day and every which way (i.e., not forcing them to get work, housing

them during their addiction to spending, etc.) because they want to keep them

close and maintain control.

* Are you affected by a spouse who has money but won’t spend it on the

important things in life? Are you being denied what could be easily afforded or

even some of life’s necessities by a Scrooge? Is your family crumbling from the

effects of this financial hoarder?

* Workaholics who refuse to leave the office or turn the blackberry off long

enough to enjoy their hard earned cash (and time with their family)! A family

being destroyed by an over worker!

* A woman who is entirely spoken for and financially “kept” by her boyfriend or

husband. She likely has no credit to her name, no bank account in her name, and

was bullied into taking his last name! Her husband keeps her from financial

independence, even going so far as to sabotage jobs or her attempt to get jobs.

Now she’s stranded with no way out of this financially abusive relationship!

If you know someone who is stuck in any of these situations, and desperately

needs the help of a proven specialist, please give them our information and have

them contact us (or contact us yourself) as soon as possible. We can help. And

we want to!

Email us at casting@parkslopeproductions.net Are you an expressive woman who somehow took a wrong financial turn and have no

idea how to find your way back? Does the secret of your compulsive spending

affect every aspect of your life? Is your debt or your spending, your gambling

or your loans, preventing you from having honest relationships with your loved

ones as well as financial freedom for yourself?

If this description fits you or a woman you know, who appears to be in their

20’s-40’s, contact us.

A team of world-renowned psychologists who specialize in debt therapy and

rehabilitation are here to help you with a new docu-series soon to be in

production.

We are looking for people who:

* Have extreme debt they are hiding from their loved ones, which puts an

insurmountable strain on those relationships. Essentially, someone “cheating”

with money!

* Parents and spouses who enable their loved one to be fiscally dependent on

them every day and every which way (i.e., not forcing them to get work, housing

them during their addiction to spending, etc.) because they want to keep them

close and maintain control.

* Are you affected by a spouse who has money but won’t spend it on the

important things in life? Are you being denied what could be easily afforded or

even some of life’s necessities by a Scrooge? Is your family crumbling from the

effects of this financial hoarder?

* Workaholics who refuse to leave the office or turn the blackberry off long

enough to enjoy their hard earned cash (and time with their family)! A family

being destroyed by an over worker!

* A woman who is entirely spoken for and financially “kept” by her boyfriend or

husband. She likely has no credit to her name, no bank account in her name, and

was bullied into taking his last name! Her husband keeps her from financial

independence, even going so far as to sabotage jobs or her attempt to get jobs.

Now she’s stranded with no way out of this financially abusive relationship!

If you know someone who is stuck in any of these situations, and desperately

needs the help of a proven specialist, please give them our information and have

them contact us (or contact us yourself) as soon as possible. We can help. And

we want to!

Email us at casting@parkslopeproductions.net

i too have this addiction. first you must figure out those triggers that make this demon control you then try to stay away from those situations. understad you will fail but hopefully each time the fall is shorter.I cancelled my cards and i put mechinisms in place when my urge tries to creep in... ill call a friend to come get me for a coke or turn over my keys to a family member who is ready for my call... put things in motion before the urge hits.... accepting and being honest with yourself and people who care is a huge step in recovery. then forgive yourself and be proactive to protect yourself and last dont be yourself up for small slip ups afterall guilt is a huge trigger for many of us. and last love your self for your short commings and flaws your doing all the right things. It took awhile for you to get to this point and it will take awhile to get better