In the Truest Meaning of the Word.
I haven't been out in society in over a month, before that it was close to 6 years. I get my groceries, meds, and anything else I may need delivered. I have 4 people in my life at this point and none of them have any true relationship to me, well my therapist does.... kinda.
It took me 6 years to get back to the point where I could go out without having a panic attack. I went out with a good friend of mine 4 and 1/2 weeks ago and had something happen that has set me back. I am of the mindset right now that I will never go out into society again as long as I live!
The 4 people in my life right now, my doctor who comes to see me once a month, unless I call her because I'm sick. My therapist who I talk on the phone with 3 times a week now and she comes to see me once a month as well (last friday of every month). The other 2 people are delivery boys. One delivers my groceries every other Wednesday, and the other delivers my meds and anything else I need once a month (usually the first Monday).
That is my life in a nutshell. I don't stay inside, I have a lot of land and spend quite a bit of time out enjoying it. I have a huge deck that I spend a lot of time sitting out on. I just don't go out into society.... I don't trust easily, especially now. I don't think I'll ever trust anyone again, at least not in person. It will make for a lonely life, but at least I'll be safe (somewhat) and know where most of my dangers and demons are. You know that saying... Better the devil you know then the one you don't.