In The World At Home

This is new and I never thought I would actually tell anyone. I hope that I am not making a mistake.

14 years ago I found out about my first time through cancer. After radiation, chemo and 7 surgeries later, including full hysterectomy, I was back on my feet. I fought hard through that time, because I did not know what was coming. Three years later was time for 2 bout o f cancer. I was not as strong this time and it took a lot out of me. I started to get out maybe once every month. I stayed in bed most of the time because of feeling horrible and light headed. Finally another light at the end of a tunnel, so they put it. I just could not get out of the pattern I was in though.

Another 5 years went by and guess what? Once again I am sick. This time though I do not even want to try. If it wasn't for my family I probably would not. I also have blackouts so I do not go out at all. I know there are many stories out there. I just do not know how to deal. I hope to find others who understand what it is like to be closed off from the world except for TV and this computer.

Thank you for reading. I probably did not write this very well, just a hard feeling to explain. Take care.
Kaywhy01 Kaywhy01
41-45, F
2 Responses Jun 3, 2012

It seems pretty natural to think you can't beat this demon, it just keeps coming back! BUT, it's an inspiring gesture if you do. If you're a good person, you've probably put your own needs after the needs of others, at some point and to some degree. So wouldn't it be a hell of a gift to win one for someone else, as a completely unselfish act on your part.. and guess what... YOU beat it, YOUR needs have been met, too! Just find one genuine person in your life to beat it for, and never mention it to them in your lifetime. Trust me, live for those around you instead of yourself, and you'll remember the grace of selflessness, it's self-satisfying.

I once had a woman that worked for me who went thru chemo 6 times over 10 years. I dont think I could have done it once. You are stronget than you think and my guess is that you will make this round again. Good luck and God bless