I wouldn't necessarily call myself a shut-in. I'm more of a neet I guess. The longest I've spent shut in my room was about a year, probably the year that I completely lost my mind. The thing with me is that I haven't been able to find any stability in my life, these past 4 years I haven't been able to keep a job or a relationship for that matter (which sucked when it ended). It's been about 2 years since I actually worked and since then I've been doing absolutely nothing, I get out once in awhile, go for a drive, hang with my only friend and all that loner stuff. I make it sound like I get out often but I don't haha. I'll stay in my room for about 2 weeks, maybe a few months until I go out, then it's back to my home. I've seen myself turn into an apathetic, ungrateful person. I don't feel genuine. I can't cry, yell or show any genuine emotion; it kinda sucks. I'm not suicidal, I don't think I'll ever be, I want to live forever if possible. (One of my biggest fears is reincarnation) I sometimes think that there's nothing wrong with me, that this is my norm. I don't ******* know ha. I'm completely aware that everything I'm doing is harming my parents and myself and yet I feel nothing. I say I want to leave, change but I continue to confine myself.
About a day ago I stumbled on this thread, this guy has basically been an actual shut-in for about 12 years. He said he was happy with his life, living with no worries. I don't think one can be happy with this lifestyle, you can become complacent, but never truly happy. Digging in more into his life just made me depressed and afraid. Will I one day accept this forever? To be gone from my humanity? I don't know, I'm annoying myself just asking these dumb questions.

To anyone who has shared below me, I wish you luck in your re-awakening. Don't you ******* give up, or else ;) I'll aspire to do the same..
Enzanx Enzanx
22-25, M
Aug 21, 2014