I Am

I have been a shut in because of my social fears but possibly that has become a fear of the world it self. I leave the house when I have to but when I am out I feel that anxiety that voice sayng get home now. I hate that I am unable to go out and enjoy myself only I can help myself but its hard. I have no friends and im incredebly shy so that just adds to it all. I think if I could make friends that it would be far easier for me to leave the house. I know I complain alot at the moment but I use to be the fun one, things just went wrong with me. Inside just can't do it for me any more even though at times I feel like its for the best and I don't need to go out ever again. Its unhealthy and to just die never seeing anything but the same walls and that emptyness inside I really want to work on this. I have to work on this small takes I take sometimes scare me back to step one but what more can I do.

Natemares Natemares
31-35, M
2 Responses Feb 28, 2010

I know how you feel .
And I am much older then you .
And I can not go to things around the apartment place when they have parties.
I get sick.
I have pill that helps to go out.
May be you go to the doctor and can help you with a pill you can take,

And there is time I go to stores i have to get what I went in and get out.
The noise is bad.
And the time it started happen.
i just could not pay for my stuff.
I had to give it to some one and they had to stand in line.
So i am getting better.
But in lot of time , I can not go in . i go home.
So hang in there .
if you need to talk i am here

I can relate to you story a lot. I feel like If i could make friends, or have somebody to go with me outside, I might be able to do it a little. But the fact is you have to go out and be social to make friends, and these people will easily take advantage of a shy anti-social like me. I'm deathly afraid of men on top of everything, and I feel like they are all predators waiting to attack on weak prey. For me I know I will die with these same walls and only experiencing the world from pictures and videos I see. I hope for you it is not the same.