I Am a Single Dad
I'm 46. My boy is 16 next month. I am told how great a father I am constantly. But I don't feel it. Part of it stems from my years long battle with depression and anxiety. I think I also regret that I wasn't always able to give him the life I think he deserves. Short story: Lost my job as a TV news anchor in July, 08. Prior to that, my now ex wife had put us 70-thousand dollars in debt without my knowledge. We divorced in 09. I tried starting a business in Nov. 08, but after two years, it failed. I was then diagnosed with diverticulitis, and underwent emergency surgery, with no health insurance. (the bill was over 80k). My son and I had to move in with my mother and father for nearly a year. I sunk into a deep depression in October of last year, after attempting suicide. In my condition, I couldn't push my son to get his schoolwork done. He faltered and had a disastrous freshman year. I Underwent TMS treatment, meds and therapy. I can function now, but am still not working, rather collecting disability. Our job as single dads in so "singularly" important. It requires we sacrifice our social lives in some cases. It's harder to get laid, let's face it. But what we do for our sons and daughters as single care givers is the primary work of our lives. Its relevance could never be overstated, and the little people who depend on us often have no one else. There are a lot of divorced mothers who want as little to do with their kids as possible, including mine. That's actually a good thing for me, but not for him. I wish he could come home and have mom and dad there for him, smell what's brewing in the kitchen. My heart sinks for him. I wish he had a better dad, without the curse of depression. Still, I'm up at 6am to get him up and make him breakfast. I drive him to school and pick him up each day. I make sure there's no TV or anything else till homework is done. He has a slew of chores, makes his bed every morning, hangs up his towel and picks up the bathroom at my assistance. I'm always on time for his extra cirriculars, and he knows I'll always pick up the phone. We exchange " I love you" s five times a day. Our lives are not easy. But they need us. And there's nothing more important in my mind.
By:
mdg1
Age:
41-45
,
Male
