My Most Important Job

As I was driving home from the hospital on the day my son was born, I kept getting images of his face in my mind, accompanied by an intense rush of emotion that was almost awwgasmic, as though the Universe was telling me: This is important; look after this. And I've obeyed that for nearly 14 years now.

My then-wife's clinical depression was exacerbated by post-natal depression, by anxiety and by obsessive-compulsive disorder. Looking back, I am surprised our marriage lasted as long as it did.

When our son was four, his mother left us and we didn't hear from her for three weeks. I have proudly been his primary carer ever since and although it's a tough gig, it is the most important job I have ever had.

amberdextrous amberdextrous
51-55, M
16 Responses Nov 7, 2009

I'm happy and proud for you... Keep up your dedication. You son is very lucky!

I see.

my husband & did lots of things backwards. We did ot have our son or any child for the 1st 15 yrs of our marriage. We had the most wonderful shared happiness and traveled. Only to Hawaii but each yr for 3 wks. we were and somehow I know, still remain a perfect match.. When we did have our beloved darlin' son. born after 36 hrs of labor andwhen we got at last to the window of time where all was well and I slept a bit while he went to shower and return.Rather suddenly it seemed, I am awakened by father &our son. The father beaming in his Tuxedeo! he was alwys Wonderful. Devoted Healing Uplifting Loving Peacemaker that he is still somewhere- non-violent as is earth. This Nov 14th would have been 38 yrs together, Yes I am still counting. In earth yrs and psyhsically we did hit 36. OK , sentiments perhaps overborad. as for a! haven't felt or found any thing not mavrelous in you. Although i wish I could keep up with you better.Love trying to though. GoodGoodGood Dad of Fortunte Blessings Of Love....True8

James is 15 today! And if anything, I feel even more honoured to be his Dad. As I have written elsewhere on EP, I am not his genetic father, but in some ways that seems to have given me a licence to be his friend, as well as his parent. Now he has a fine little moustache and some whispy whiskers on his chin... but I still can't help thinking back to when I held his head in the palm of my hand, and his toes just reached the inside of my elbow.<br />
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Thank You for your lovely comments!

This put such a smile on my face, you're love for your son is always the most important thing, I'm sure you're an amazing dad! You're always full of advice and you seem so wise

I ADORE single parents, and single dads just get me all gaga...great story...! bf.

Your son is very lucky to have you and you are very lucky to have him also. Children are blessings.

Right back at ya', amberdextrous! <br />
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and thanx akasarah!

amazing, you guys are awesome....single dads....God bless you!

Wow! Thank You for sharing your story, garys. Well done to you, coping with such a heavy burden by yourself all that time. Inspiring stuff.

My ex suffered from severe drug addiction, (because her doctor pumped her full of pain drugs after delivery... he is now living in New Zealand, without a medical license) and post partum from the time my daughter was born... Due to these conditions, I was left to care for my new born daughter (and her two older brothers) from the time she was 9 days old. It has been more than 9 years now and the kids and I are all doing very well. Mom has not recovered from her addictions in any way and is still an absolute wreck to this day, still using and abusing. She literally went two and a half years without so much as a call to her kids... How sad is that? Meanwhile, the rest of us are doing pretty well... My oldest son is strong and responsible. My younger son is the most outgoing and entertaining young man that you will ever meet. And then there is my daughter, my angel, she is so beautiful, so smart and such an inspiration to me.... I never imagined myself being a single parent, but now I know that is what I was meant to be! Every day is a new adventure! Yeah its tough sometimes, but it is ALWAYS worth it! I constantly look forward to the challenges and the joy that tomorrow holds!

Hats off to you! Being a single parent especially a single parent father is extreamly commendable!

It's hard for me to understand how any parent can choose simply to 'disappear' from their children's lives, polly, no matter what issues they may have with their spouse. They must be so selfishly wrapped up in their own pain and anger that they ignore the obvious potential for life-long damage to their children from such abandonment.<br />
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I am so glad things turned out well for you and your kids the second time around.

Isn't it great that Nature gives us that gift, inspiring us to care for our kids with every fibre of our beings?<br />
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Thank You for your kind comments, Literaturegirl and dancerichly.

You don't have that gift you would rather do drugs then be a dad how sick and sad

The sick, sad, thing, for me, is how quick some people are to judge others, and how brainwashed they must be to believe that drug users are not capable parents, by definition. You know nothing of me or my situation, agonicole. You have no clue about how good my parenting is.

what the heck are you talking about you ignorant person? can you judge him? he is one of the most decent men i have ever come across online! and trust me that is exceedingly high prase from a cynical person. read his stories and get a heart, a brain, a life perhaps...

Thank you, Lgirl. His mum gets to see him any time she wants. He spends weekends with her. He loves her, and I'm not goin to deny him access to someone he loves -and needs. We get on fine now, my ex and I.