I Am A 24 Yr Old Single Father With Two Boys.

I am 24 yrs old and have two boys. My oldest is 5 yrs old and my youngest is 11/2 yrs. My boys do not have the same mother. I currently have full custody of my oldest son and joint custody of my youngest. Yes I have made some mistakes in my late teens...early 20's but I am a really good father and would not change a thing (My boys r my life). I have my oldest full time and have my youngest Sun thru Wed. My family is very supportive which helps make a happy, loving and safe environment for both of my boys. I do currently live at home with my parents and boys which people judge me on. I am unable to move out on my own at this point because day care is very expensive...my mother put her work life on hold so that she can help out with the boys.  Although we do live with my parents it works for all of us. My parents have plenty of space for all of us...my mother says that she never wants us to move out because she would miss all of the laughter...lol. Why is it that people judge me for this...my boys and family are VERY HAPPY...shouldn't that be the only thing that matters. It just seems as if people don't get that.

Now that u know alittle bit about me...I would like to talk about the court system.

I just currently went to trial to try and get full custody of my youngest because his mother has been abusing and neglecting him. My family and I went into court fully prepared this time (so we thought)...we had pictures of my babies physical abuse, witnesses and notes that we all kept for a whole year. I lost full custody again but the court did order her to attend mental health, parenting classes and CPS will b making unannounced home visits (which gives us some relief). Which is basically what we wanted last March 2010 when we first took her to court for abuse and neglect. I did not win then or now because I made a mistake when I was 19 yrs old before my 2nd son was even thought of. So because of my past mistake my youngest had to go through more physical and emotional abuse because we needed enough evidence before going back to court. Instead of the court focusing on the mother and my son being abused...I was put on trial for my past mistake. I DO NOT DRINK OR DO DRUGS...but that didn't seem to matter to the court. The court was more focused on my past mistake and living with my parents than my sons well being.

Why is it that the mother can abuse your child and still keep full custody when I am a single dad and am a much BETTER PARENT than her? The world needs to start opening up their eyes and start giving single fathers some aknowledgment. We are no longer DEAD BEAT DAD's!!! I see fathers with their kids at the park, stores, or just walking down the street all the time. Give us some credit...we r really trying. We play the part of being both the mother and father. We r expected to work a full time job, pay child support and take care of our children. What about us?????? Shouldn't we get some credit and acknowledgement for being such good fathers????

Thank you for taking the time to read my story...please let me know what your thoughts are.

Proud Daddy

twordenbluej twordenbluej
3 Responses Feb 1, 2012

I agree the system needs to change because I've been going through the exact same problem. I am also a single father and the courts seem to think we don't care even when the only reason we are in court is for our child's best interest. I'm supposed to see my son three days a week but his mother moved to another state against court order so now I see him for the summer only and seldom the whole summer. I could inform the local authorities in the state his mother has him on kidnapping but don't want his life destroyed by his mother going to jail. I put my son first unlike his mother.

I think that what your doing with your kids is amazing and i am so glad that you have ppl that support you and help you .

sounds like you have your hands full<br />
<br />
but the said thing is you are very rare and care about your kids<br />
<br />
and you are lucky we never could have children

I'm perfect, I have many skills with children, and I see no harm in having relation with dad if he's single