tl;wr: I'm on the verge of single fatherhood to three boys still hoping to make it work and I'm worried about how I will do.
(tl;wr=to long;won't read)


I am not a single father, but often it seems more and more that is the direction my life is headed. I think after our second child my wife was dealing with PPD and didn't want to get help and I didn't notice because she's always been prone to great anger I just tried to take it in stride as more of the same. It got really bad though (see other experiences).

I had a vasectomy after I told me wife that one more child with her would likely be the end of this marriage. Not because of the child, but because of her anger and inability to handle the children alone for more than a few hours. We had a solid month and change of no fighting (a record) which when coupled with more than a year of no sex finally led to some much needed action. A couple of weeks after the second time we had sex she told me she was pregnant.
-_-
FML.

I went back to the doctor like WTF?!? He just read me the fine print that says that for 2% or so of guys even if the surgery is "successful" there is a later chance of failure. I sure felt that special that day as the world dropped out from under me.

I speak of being a single father because I KNOW that she can't handle them and I'm assuming that in all likelihood, with three children, I won't be able to really date until they hit high school or college. Looking at my marriage... I'm ready to accept that. Not like I could have less sex than I have been over the last 6 years or so anyway.

So my last little guy is due end of January and my wife dumps our other two sons on me as soon as I come through the door and see them as my responsibility for the weekend from breakfast to bedtime. In my head I think, "How is this really any different from being a single father already?" Save for the lack of anger and the ensuing calm in my house that would follow it seems it should be about the same.

But then I look at the experiences of other single fathers and start second guessing myself. It's probably going to be way harder than I'm expecting and I really don't have much in the way of family to help me. Hell, locally there's only my little brother and he's still getting his life sorted out.

I am father that works hard for his little boys and am teetering on that brink of single parenthood. My wife used to threaten me with pushing me over the edge and leaving me with the boys. Once I made it clear that I was at least at mentally at peace with it if that's what it came to she backed off.

Still, the boys love their mother despite everything as well they should. Yet it makes me feel obligated to make it all work somehow, but most days I have just enough energy to get the boys to bed before I pass out myself so that I can wake up for work on time to do it all over again.
LOMD LOMD
36-40, M
Dec 26, 2014