Sick Of Unrequited Love And Bad Dates

Hi everyone,

I stumbled across this page and found it to be exactly what I need right now. It's refreshing to find a place where I can share my story. A little about me: I'm a 28 year old single girl who works in law enforcement. I moved to NY from MA at the age of 25 for the job I have now. When I did that, I walked away from a relationship I was in for almost 5 years. The guy I was with was amazing, but for some reason I just never felt like I loved him. I tried to force myself to love him because I thought that I should, he was attractive and treated me well, so what was wrong with me? I ws comfortable with him, but always felt something was missing. Anyway, I was career oriented at the time and when I was offered my dream job, I walked away from everything I knew and moved to a new state. I didn't know anyone when I came here, but eventually made some great friends through work. A coworker of mine set me up with a guy she used to work with a few months after I got to NY. I fell madly in love with this guy, and we dated for a year and a half. However, that year and a half was a roller coaster ride from hell. He was severely manipulative, narcicisstic, and mentally abusive. Even after we broke up, it took me some time to see that and the relationship for what it truly was. Needless to say, when that ended (about 6 months ago) I was left as an empty shell of the person I used to be. It took me a long time to put myself back together, and though I am still working on myself, I am a hell of a lot better than I was. Since then, it has been bad date after bad date and I find that I keep meeting guys that are unavailable in one way or another. I feel like no one thinks I am worth pursuing. The problem is, all of my girl friends are married or in relationships. I literally have no single girl friends to go out with. I am the last one standing. I have a ton of guy friends since I work in law enforcement, but obviously no guy is going to approach me when I am with them. I end up going out with them on my nights off because it's better than staying in my apartment alone. I have dated a few guys from work, but nothing ever came of it and they ended up making some other girl their girlfriend. Apparently I wasn't good enough. I have and am trying online dating with no luck. I don't understand, all my guy friends tell me I am beautiful, funny, smart and that they don't understand why I am still single (of course these guys are married, lol). I do not sleep around, I have good morals and values, a great career, I don't know why I can't find a guy that thinks I am worth making his girlfriend. At the age of 28, I am starting to get nervous that I will never meet anyone and die alone with a bunch of cats. Thank you for reading this, and I would really appreciate any insight, advice, or wisdom that you have. I feel as though I have no one to talk to or understand where I am comig from. It felt really good to get all of this out. Thanks again
SingleInTheCity SingleInTheCity
26-30
2 Responses May 15, 2012

hi i am a single boy

I am sorry about what yo have gone through. It couldn't of been easy. I feel the same way I am 27 and have 2 kids and a cat (lol) my wife is currently moving out and i am facing a unplanned future on my own. i know I shouldn't be thinkning about if i ever find love again but I don't want to be lonely. I hope you find mr right one day i really do