Bitter Sweet Ness...

Bitter sweet! I am coming out of a relationship that was like living with a good friend. I was so lonely and so attention starved, that I during these years of
togetherness, I lost myself. Walking away from her was one of the hardest things I have ever done. She wasn't someone who treated me badly, she treated me better than anyone I have ever been with but the love was lost and I am not sure it can be found. I feel as if I am too far gone and ready to move on with myself. She is in pain and I know this. I hate hurting the people I love but in love didn't seem to be in our vocabulary.

I moved out...I am now living with a friend and I am not as lonely..strange. I feel as if I am not sure if I am coming or going...Which direction I should go..where I am going to end up...I just want to be happy again. I want to find myself and I refuse to settle. Life is too short. I have to figure out how to be alone...I am still attention starved..but hopefully that will pass...

Such bittersweetness..

Loopylu Loopylu
31-35, F
3 Responses May 20, 2010

dunno why reading your story it reminds me of myself. <br />
i feel like i'm being with a friend too..<br />
yes.. it's definitely hard to leave, and you 'did' it!<br />
<br />
it's normal to feel lonely when you're single, you felt that when you were with her, it's because she's just not the right one for you, that's why.<br />
<br />
you'll meet 'the one' soon, don't lose hope.

i understand u.

Hang in there. You made this most difficult of decisions with much thought I am sure. The most difficult part of a seperation is the first 6 months, then things will become more clear. Believe me, there is MUCH beauty in living a fullfilling single life and more rewarding than an empty coupled life. <br />
Best wishes