Failure In Love.

I always thought I had my life all planned out; not true. I have two children with the same father that I stayed with for ten years because I did not want to break up our family. But, it was too much and too bad to stay together. Then, I met someone and I thought it was okay to have another child but, after getting pregnant he told me he changed his mind and left me. I was so hurt that I made the wrong decisions in my life and went through a lot of depression and disappointment. Today, my oldest is 18 yrs, middle child 17 yrs, and my little one is 9 yrs old. I am now over six months pregnant and just recently seperated from another relationship after being together for the last three years. I realize I have done all this to myself and to my children. Again, I am going through the depression and the acknowledgment that I am always going to be alone and I just need to stay out of relationships. It doesnt change the fact how much I love my children but I have been such a failure. And, I wonder why I couldnt be smart enough to prevent this. It has caused me to hide myself in a shell, and I am a lot different at work now because I am trying so hard to hide all this. I have no family no friends. And I wonder every day what is wrong with me? I never seen myself in this situation, I expected to be married in a family with one man forever.
Lindeey Lindeey
36-40, F
Sep 18, 2012