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My Daughter Saved Herself

So here is my story I am 27 years old and I became a mother at the age of 20. I met my daughter's father through a mutual friend all though I already knew him we went to elementary school together but I didn't know too much about him. We met when I was 19 and hit it off immediately. I actually moved in with him the day we met. He was fun and exciting at first until I got pregnant. I feared telling him because I knew he would be upset with me. I decided to go ahead and tell him that maybe he wouldn't hate me for it.

Boy was I ever so wrong... I told him that evening as we were getting ready for bed and he completely lost it! Started screaming at me and began punching the walls. That was the first time he ever really scared me and I was afraid he was going to start hitting me next once he ran out of wall space. He calmed down and told me I needed to handle it. That he wouldn't allow me to stick him with another child. He already had a son that was about to be 5 years old.

So I made an appointment to "handle it" the day before our birthdays. Yes we have the same birthday and that was bad enough. He didn't even want to go with me to my appointment, so my sister had offered to take me. The day before I was going to spend the night with my sister and that morning as he was getting ready to leave for work he asked me "So how much does it cost to kill a fetus these days?!" So I told him and he threw a check at me.

We both left and I was a wreck. I couldn't believe what he had said to me talking about our baby like that. That night I was sleeping I had a dream I was in a meadow with a beautiful house and white picket fence in the background and in the distance I saw a little girl with beautiful blonde hair like mine in a white sun dress calling "Mommy" to me. The next morning I had complete changed my mind how could I go through with it after seeing my little girl before I even knew that is what my baby would be I was barely a month pregnant.

So needless to say I did not go through with it and her father was not happy with me. We argued on the phone about it for hours. He called back a couple of hours later and said he would man up and he wanted to do this with me. I was happy and glad that I wouldn't have to do it alone and our baby would have a family little did I know how disfunctional that our little family would be. I put up with three and a half years of pure emotional and sometimes physical torture. By the time our daughter was 2 years old I became pregnant once again. He had the same attitude as before and I felt he did not diserve to destroy another life and he was unworthy of becoming a father yet again. So this time I did decide it was best not to have this baby. I have some regrets and it still hurts every now and then but that baby saved me this time from making an even bigger mistake by giving me the strength I needed to leave this sorry excuse of a man.

I am happy to say that it is just me and my beautiful little girl and has been for almost 5 years now. Karma has finally caught up to her father and hopefully by this Thursday I will have sole physical and legal custody! My daughter understands the situation even though she loves her father dearly she does not wish to have him in her life. It is a sad thing when your own child knows you're a terrible person and doesn't want to be a part of your life.

All I can say is he will miss out on being able to get to know an amazingly smart little girl and he only has himself to blame.
MissAsh27 MissAsh27 26-30, F Sep 25, 2012

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