Single Mom... Will I Be Ok.

I am a single mom of 2 little boys. I walked a way from a man mentally and physically abusive. It was hard, sometimes I blame myself.. I have a lot of guilt..mostly because there was only one or 2 incidents of physical abuse, and well my brain says i did the right thing for me and the boys leaving.. I am so scared that one day my kids will think bad of me or not understand why I did .. as he is hardly a part of their lives now and doesnt pay child support. . I put on a brave face and do my thing but the truth is I am so sad. My family support me finically but are not there for me... I have no family, and not many friends. I thought things were getting better for me, after a year of being a lone I have been open to dating, but I am so scared to fall in love. We drove around tonight looking at the christmas lights and I could only imagine there was a family in there.. lucky to have each other... Ugh I dont want to hate the holidays but lol tonight I almost do. I was a child of a couple who have been married and still are for over 35 years..I would have never imagined I would end up like this...
minimommi minimommi
31-35, F
2 Responses Dec 15, 2012

My heart goes out to you. I left a verbally abusive relationship in fear it could turn physical and wanted to protect my kids and I felt the same way at first and after 2 years of being alone I found a man that is absolutely amazing only down side is he military and deployed for about another month. It does get easier just remember you did what you had to for you babies! They come first. If you ever need to talk feel free to message me, you strong you'll make it through, but just like everything else it takes time to heal trust me

There are choices we know are the correct ones, true, hard as they are, but always in doubt. If there was one incident of physical abuse, you made the right choice for yourself and for your boys ... For them, do stay carefully open and keep looking for someone else to share the load of parenting. Wishing you peace in the coming year, and happier holidays as well.