Single Mom With No Family.

I am struggling this year. Its my first Christmas as a single mom and its been really tough. I dont have any family around and my son is at his dads house for the afternoon. I moved in 2 years ago with my sons dad because he proposed to me. Less than a month later my dad unexpectedly passed away from a heart attack. The week after I buried my dad, i found out I was pregnant. I didnt think about my dad while pregnant because I didnt want to stress my baby out. Four months after I had my baby I started suffering severe postpartum depression. I never wanted to hurt my son or anything I just didnt understand my new role and I was angry that I experienced the most amazing thing and one of the most tragic things within a week apart. I dont know it just hit me how much I wanted my dad to see my son. I suffered ppd until my son was a year old. Now he is 19 months. Instead of my sons dad helping me he went against me and started documenting my feelings to later use against me in court as part of what is still a lengthy custody case. I am hurt. I am alone and I am confused about how my sons dad could do this. He left in July and I have been struggling just to get by. I moved from a city I loved just so I could get married and have a family. Now I am in a city I hate, I cant leave. My sons dad and I share 50/50. I am really lonely and just try to provide the best home I can for my baby. I am a bartender on the weekends and have my son during the weekdays. Im gettting exhausted and more lonely as the weeks go by. I guess I just needed to vent.
singlemom28 singlemom28
4 Responses Dec 24, 2012

I too am in a similar situation.. my son was born in 2009. My dad passed away in 2010 and my mom in 2012. I separated from my sons father right after he was born.This was my first Christmas with no family. Something I've noticed is how things come and go in waves. I don't know how old you are, but I'm 35. Some of the people I knew T 22 and seemed so happy, getting married, starting families or careers....some are now getting divorces or struggling financially. others who were struggling are now doing well. Life is not a continuum, it is constantly changing. Things will get better in your life, I can promise you that. Something that helped me get through the holidays was doing things for others. Simple things like making cookies for my neighbor or lending a hand to a coworker. My son went to his dads for Xmas eve and I had him on Xmas. There were times when I felt sad that I didn't have a family. But then I remembered what I do have, most importantly my sweetfaced 4 year old. Sit down and make a list of.things you are thankful for. It helps me put things in perspective sometimes. Hope the rest of this season gets better for you, Nd 2013 is the start of many great things to come.

Oh my dear my love goes out to you very sorry you lost your dad, if only life was a smooth road. As a young mum you need the loving support of family or friends. I hope you can find the friendship wisdom and support of perhaps an older woman via church, neighbour or relative. Please use this online community if it helps. You will get through, young men can't always understand our needs. Am sure you are a wonderful mum. I had similar experience and was a single parent for some years, we may lose loved ones along the way but others will come into our life along the way. I wish you and all you hope for to come true in 2013. I will pray for you.

Dont Distress yourself Miss,

Future has a way of arriving unannounced

Maybe while you were depressed you did and said things that made your son's dad believe that you do not deserve to be a mother at all. Maybe he's lost faith in you.You need to find your inner peace in order to bring your life in balance again. Think what you want and if all the depression is left back. Go see a therapist if you feel you can't do it on your own. Talk to the guy and explain that you've been through a difficult period, apologise if you let him down and ask for a chance to prove yourself. Always remember, if you want for another person to believe in you, you have to believe in yourself! Always bear in mind that you ARE the child's mother and that if anyone, you have the biggest right to be with your child. There can be no better substitute if you love him and care for him and learn to be confident and mature. Have strength and faith in God, take courage from Jesus who was born today and start taking mature steps towards happiness! Life is out there, just reach out for it. Be composed and mature over this and you will do it! If you need to talk ever, pm me! Take care and Merry Christmas! :)

I never said things while depressed I just couldn't get into things as much as I wanted to and he could see it in my eyes. I was more frustrated with myself because I couldn't find joy no matter how hard I tried. I got help and looking back it wasn't that I didn't like my new role, I had finally started mourning my dad when my son was 6 months. Thank you so much for your positive input. Its really appreciated. You're right I don't think I ever apologized to him I just got the appropriate counseling but apologies go farther than we think. Merry Christmas!!

I called him and apologized. I feel it was a healthy and positive step in co parenting. Thank you so much!!

I am so happy for you! Thank you for showing that my advice actually matters! :D I wish you best of wishes to you, your child and anyone you love.May god guide your footsteps and give you a happy, full and long life! Merry Christmas! :)