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My Bry and I

I met my son's father in High School. We were together 2 years and then when I was 17 I got pregnant. We were young and didn't know much about life. We got married and seperated a couple months later. He hasn't seen or called his son in 4 years. He recently sent me a friends request on myspace...lol. I asked him what he wanted after all these years. After a few defensive emails of him stating how he didn't want anything, i sent him a one sentence email saying "i don't understand why things are the way they are." He replied with confessing he misses us and wishes things were different. The sad thing is I know longer know this person. And the reasons behind him not being in my sons life are not ones he wants to discuss. All this time I have felt that him not being in our lives has been benifical. Now I'm not sure what is. My son is getting older and starting to ask questions. Questions I don't have answers too. Me and his father have not continued to communicate thru email. Simply because I don't know what to do. He seems still so immature and unable to handle the situation. Its hard just the two of us at times, but I'm happy I have him in my life. As for his father, I think it will be a while before he knows what he wants and is ready to face the time missed. Its not about me, or at least shouldn't be. It should be about the little boy he brought into this world and the little boy who today does not know his daddy. My son is also biracial. I know there will be times in his life he will need his dad. I hope one day his dad wakes up to realize what he is missing out on.

jusdreaminshe jusdreaminshe 22-25, F 3 Responses Apr 12, 2009

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Jz lv ur own life,try n do mo thngs u love

My son is biracial also and his Mom and I divorced when he was 8 but I tried to stay in his life but realized early on that I wasn't doing the best I could. I have no real excuse because I could have tried harder. He's been in my life on and off since then but we're closer now that he's a father and I know his kids and now I'm a great grandfather twice and really want to be more involved with them than I was with the grand kids. I owe it to them as well as to myself. I'm going to make it happen.

Wow, your story brought tears to my eyes. I think partially because my young sister is following the same path that you have already walked and your story gives me hope for her, but it also causes me heartbreak because you are trying so hard to do what is right for your son and putting aside those feelings from before. I wish you luck in whatever you decide. I know your decisions are not easy because you want desperately to do the best thing for your son. I will keep you in my thoughts over the next months as you work through what you feel is right for your son. I am also happy for you that you have the blessing of your son in your life. Good luck no matter what you decide.