And I Love My Kids But...
How do you deal with ungrateful kids?
I am in a situation right now that truly brings me to tears.
I have a 16 year old son and a 14 yo girl. I work a full time job, I work from 7:30 to 3:20 daily plus I go to a counseling site for my practicum from 4-9pm on Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays. On Wednesdays I go to school. On Saturdays I tutor from 8:30 to 1:30 pm. I have to do all these because I do not get any child support and I am the sole provider in my family.
I just want to preface that I do not need anyone telling me that maybe my kids need more time with me. This is something I have figured out already but right now I have to finish my Master's and I just have 2 months to go so after that I will have all the time in the world in the afternoons. Some single moms are able to rely on family, or the father or someone close to provide some sort of relief but I have absolutely no one. The problem is not really behavioral in that they are not disrespectful or in trouble at school, that is not it. The problem is that they do not want to help at all at home.
I find it that nothing gets done, the house is always a mess and asking them to do anything ends up in a huge argument because of their way of handling it. They tend to pout, make faces, roll they eyes, and what is really getting to me is that if I don't demand something to get done it simply doesn't get done. I come home everyday to a house that is a mess, dishes not washed, nothing picked up, their rooms are a mess as well. For a long time I have just asked and asked and they still enjoy certain privileges such as computer time and t. v. time and cell phone. When I took the phone away it created a lot of problems because I couldn't keep in touch (we don't have a house phone) and it was difficult so I had to give it back. When I took the computer away they complained that they couldn't do school work...
You know what I've just realized. I am venting!
I don't have anyone to vent to. I know what I need to do. I just wish they would understand that I do not want to take away things but it is going to have to be that way. We got our phones disconnected this week (cel phone) I have no money right now for that. I think I am going to pay mine and not theirs until I start seeing a change. I also think I am going to give them each 2 hours of pc for homework, it should be enough, if they want more they have to earn it.
I just want someone to appreciate my work, I work so hard, I do it for them. I have completely pour myself into what I do professionally and as a mother, I have not one single friend, I haven't had a relationship in the longest time, I just don't have time for anything and it seems to me that I should be able to come home to a nice house. I have told them a thousand times I don't want perfection but they don't listen until I yell and scream. Then, of course the mommy guilt creeps in and i feel guilty about everything, about not being there for them, about not having enough for them... about everything. I am sorry this was not a happy wonderful story. I love my kids, I wish they knew how much.