Sshhhhhh....don't Say It Too Loud!!!The peanut gallery (AKA as my daughter and my EX) may hear you!!! They are both expecting me to live like Mother Theresa. My 11-year old exclaims that NO ONE over 35-years old should be kissing because it's disgusting!!!! I asked her doesn't she want Mommy to have someone special in her life? She replies, aren't I enough? You always did say I was a handful. After a round of giggles she finally says okay...of course I want you to have someone but I still think its gross for you to be kissing at your age. So sarcastically I say, okay that's good to know you that you're okay with me to have someone as long as I don't kiss them. Rolling my eyes as I said it. She then says, Mom you're pretty and you've got nice boobs.
If my daughter mentions that I got my hair done or nails done my EX will ask if Mommy has a date. He knows how protective I am of my daughter and how busy I am with her so he's counting on me not paying much attention to my love life. He doesn't want me. He just doesn't want another male in her life that may take his place.
I decided last month that I should try working on my "new social life" so I decided to join a dating website. I have learned that men at this age still don't know how to date. The first guy that asked me out wanted to meet at a sports bar that had TV monitors everywhere. Maybe it's just me that I didn't think it was the ideal place to take a first date. Why would I want to spend an evening screaming across the table to have a conversation while his eyes roamed the room so he can watch sports galore? We opted for a pizza place. It was casual so his attire of jeans and a polo shirt was okay...except his polo shirt had his company's name embrodered on it. He didn't work that day....why would you want to wear that for a date? He was a few years older and just retired from the military. He was on the fast track to find someone to nest with. I knew this so I was frank and told him that I wasn't sure that I was ready for all that. He wanted to go on a second date and was trying to convince me that we could just hang out as friends. This guy is someone who is goal oriented and doesn't do anything just because. SO in my mind I said, let me see what his actions are at the end of the date. When we were heading out the door, I was walking first and paused at the door. Made small talk to see if he would step ahead of me to open it. He didnt. He was parked in front of the restaurant while I was parked across the street. I wanted to see if he would offer to walk me to my door. He never offered to walk me to my car. He wanted to stand there and try to talk to me a little longer but I insisted that he answer his phone because it kept on ringing. I simply smiled, said goodbye and left.
The second guy wanted to go to a restaurant overlooking the beach. I mentioned a couple and then he picked one. Since I've never been to the restaurant he chose I looked it up on the web. The restaurant is the kind of place you want to take your special valentine to. Romantic, candles, etc. I called him back up and asked him if we could change venues because I thought it was a little much for a first date. He was fine and we chose a more casual restaurant. He showed up to the date wearing white sneakers, mid calf white socks, shorts, tshirt and a button down shirt over it. I would have died if he showed up at the other restaurant dressed like that. Frankly, he's over 40 that look is fine if you're in your twenties. Again, really nice gentleman. I was trying to get to know more about him while he would talk to me about general stuff. Point blank, I asked him was there anything that he wanted to know about me. He didn't really have anything to say. Afterwards, we take a walk on the boardwalk. Gorgeous night. We stop and we are looking at the moonlight. Totally romantic. I'm attracted to him so I figure why not. I move closer towards him and look him in the eye and say that I find him attractive and that I have had a very good time. Im' practially tilting over waiting for him to lean forward to kiss me. NOTHING!!!!! Okay...so I say that I needed to head home. He starts talking about how we should do this again. His car is closer by a few feet, I walk him to his car. He doesn't offer to walk me a few feet farther to my car. I was gracious, thanked him for dinner, kissed him on the cheek and gave him a hug. He started asking about next weekend but he arrived to his own conclusion that I wasn't available since I had my daughter that weekend. I left it alone and walked away and got into my car.
I haven't dated in over two decades. I look for the simple things on a first date. It's the first impression so you would assume they would show you their best. I look to see if they are chivalrous. How are they contributing to the conversation? Are they really trying to get to know me? The second guy mentioned that his favorite color was purple so I showed up wearing a purple blouse. Never noticed it. Neither of them complimented how I look like even though both were practically looking down my shirt. If I showed up in shorts and a tshirt, that guy wouldn't be too happy. I'm not saying that he has to show up in a dinner jacket, but dress like you're excited to see me.
My third date was dressed more appropriately. However, he was newly divorced and he was really not ready to be dating anyone. So I won't even bore you with that.
So I think I've had my fill of dates for awhile. This dating stuff is tiring. I need to take months to rest.
Mahal1023 46-50, F 18 Responses 2 Jul 30, 2011