What Do Men Over 40 Really Want?

I just started dating again and have been using the internet to meet men because if go to the bars most men are too young or the men who are the right age are looking for too young.  I have had some great experiences in the past with internet dating but this time around it is like the men can not even commit to a phone call or getting a coffee. Lately, is they email a couple of times act like they are interested and then just drop off.  They can't even put out the effort to write " i don't think this would work out".    I am a 45 year old Professional woman,  who is just looking to have a friend to go to a movie with or dinner.  I am not looking for Prince Charming.    Here is an example  - a guy asks for my # and I give it too him.  He texted me the next morning at 7 am to ask when the best time to call and I texted back at time.  He never called!  What is up with that?  That is why I am here telling my story and want to hear about other single lady's experiences!

sjhanna sjhanna 41-45, F 54 Responses Oct 11, 2009

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This is crazy. I'm a 47 yr old male with great height to wt ratio, with a professional Job...decent credit post 3 yr Divorce and I can get a date on the internet. All woman want is the bad tattoo superjock, who cant commit or wont.. Average non tattoo professional no dates. So find this forum interessting


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Hello there, i am a men 42 years old, i am looking for women over 40's too,

Just try me,

i am madavan 46yrs looking for a good lady, same like you just to go for a movie, have coffee and pass our time nicely.......if anybody have interest my number +919176560115

I am man of with almost a similar want and am looking for a lady 45+ to be my companion and may be a relation.

I want to expound on what Stevem7 said. He's somewhat right.
But let me tell you why! And why some of the other posters are right but for entirely the wrong reasons.
I'm 40. Divorced. Dating for the last couple years.
I spent my 30's with my ex-wife. Wasted them with her is more like it!
So yes, maybe I'm having a bit of a "mid-life crisis". I want to live an exciting life. I want to go to night clubs. Hit the bars. Travel without warning. Sex in the park. Do some drugs. Live like I did when I was 25. And why not?! It's my life! It's *my* life. I should get to spend it how I choose. There's nothing holding me back.
Now, what does that have to do with you? I've dated a lot of women in the last two years. From 27 to 43. And so far, only a few 27 to 32 wanted to or could live the life I want.
Women older than that either had kids or other responsibilities, or most often wanted to settle down and live a quiet life. Travel? Maybe. Night clubs? Only on a Saturday night, if then. Sex in the park? We aren't in college any more. Living like you're 25? No thanks.
Fine. That's fine. Then we are not right for each other. But don't be upset when I'm chasing 30 year olds.
I'm sure there are exceptions, but I haven't met any.

From this description, I figured you were a lot older than your age! I agree with most of what you wrote. I would like to find someone around my age, who didn't look it or act it...someone who, like me, wants fun and adventure...not someone content with just sitting at home and watching paint dry.

Hi dear wanna friendship with u

hi i m 32 year male
from ahmedabad

I am in my 40s and in the online dating scene. I have found it to be very frustrating. I have found two types of 40 year old men for the most part. The players who have been in marriages and other long term relationship who have been unsuccessful at remaining faithful and will probably continue to struggle in that area. The other type really do understand commitment are are capable of it but are maybe no longer up to putting the work into making it work. There is a lot more I could say.... I know I am jaded. What do you think?

There is nothing wrong with having a list; unfortunately though, we must never admit to this. It is so easy to say that we are simply seeking a companions with whom we can enjoy our lives but it is of course, much easier said than done. The loveliest man somehow shows his true colors eventually and it is up to us to ask all of the pertinent questions. I know, for example, that a Howard Stern fan is a person with whom I will not get along. It would be in my best interests, for example, to steer clear of this "type" of person. This would not only be for the my sake but for the man's sake as well. If we forget our proverbial lists we simply walk blindly into situations that we do not need. Most men do not care so long as they are getting sex...and do not get me wrong, many women are like this as well but some of us have different hopes, dreams and desires and for this reason we must be selective and not forget about the list.

Get rid of your list and get a real partner instead. People are people not a list. if you have some long list of expectations you may miss out on something real. And just perhaps real good in your life. For me I just want a loyal kind loving gal over 21 so if we were to want to drink we can. Not a list.

I have a announcement to make, "TIMES HAVE CHANGED ", "TIMES ARE CHANGING ", "CHANGE IS INEVITABLE "...

People or in this case men over 40 want what they want, when then want and how they want. One more we're living in the best of times, but simultaneously these can also be thr worst of times too. The individual decides, however it sure helps to have some optimism and confidence.

What do we want?
A career or to provide beyond tomorrow.
To be cared for and supported through and through.
To be all you need, but at times I need ME time and other times I'd love to fulfill my role in your life as a friend and especially a confidante.

Regarding communication, countless make up their own rules as they go, I'd like to reiterate that you take the initiative and CALL me (kidding ). Don't be nervous when you call, be courteous and state the reason for the call. I heard the following long ago the English language is the the hardest to learn. Added stress is that of NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION.

Whats funny is we typically want the samethings but fear and rejection keeps the other in the perverbial box or the walls up til its safe to truly express ones true feelings.

I hate the stinking so called game, where the players have outlandish rules when all ya oughta begin with I dig ya and share you with the one you have audience with.

...just too much pressure.

Love is possible, do your HOMEWORK and be patient.

having my very first experience with dating a 40+ man and im 30. usually date older guys so i have no idea what to say when he asks what i want in bed or even what restaraunt I want because i am so used to dating younger and same age. Never had an eager to please instead of an eager to be pleased unfortunately. I really like this post since it assured me im headed the right direction by doing my homework. still searching on how to conform to an older man...

oops i meant i havent ever dated an older guy but you probably got that lol

I agree with you's been my experience as well

I don't know what they want but I know what I want is flexibility, no family drama, have to be over their ex, open minded, straight forward to name a few the way if i am not interested i say so...