What Do Men Over 40 Really Want?

I just started dating again and have been using the internet to meet men because if go to the bars most men are too young or the men who are the right age are looking for too young.  I have had some great experiences in the past with internet dating but this time around it is like the men can not even commit to a phone call or getting a coffee. Lately, is they email a couple of times act like they are interested and then just drop off.  They can't even put out the effort to write " i don't think this would work out".    I am a 45 year old Professional woman,  who is just looking to have a friend to go to a movie with or dinner.  I am not looking for Prince Charming.    Here is an example  - a guy asks for my # and I give it too him.  He texted me the next morning at 7 am to ask when the best time to call and I texted back at time.  He never called!  What is up with that?  That is why I am here telling my story and want to hear about other single lady's experiences!

sjhanna sjhanna
41-45, F
108 Responses Oct 11, 2009

hi i am 32 years old male my no is 995372378 i am very honest and simple

So it looks like you got responses from a lot of men who don't read to the end. Ha!

Well I too am a single woman over 40. I've been single for 9 yrs after being married for 16. There are things I adore about it. I make my own money and my own decisions. I never argue with anyone and there are no elephants in my rooms ever. My kids have grown up since the separation. And while they still live at home, now they are more companions than dependants.

There are things too that I dislike. Sometimes I am lonely. I go to things alone or with my mom or my auntie or the kids. I miss having someone in my bed. I fear growing old alone.

Overall, I am contented. I like the woman I have become; strong, strong-willed, independent, calm, happy, adventurous, self-confident, brave.

What do men over 40 want? I'm no expert. But what I've observed through internet dating is three general groups. (1) The older guys who looking for someone to cook and clean and look after him. (2) The younger guys who are seeking a cougar to bang. (3) The rest - normal guys who are genuine and really just looking for the same thing as we are. I wish they were easier to pick out of a lineup. If they were, I might have one by now ;)

Fact is, I really just don't trust my judgement in this matter. My track record is not the best. Ha!

Too bad you probably won't even see this in all the chap.

I am Anuj, and indeed I feel that a good partner and a friend is hardly possible in mumbai's life.

I cannot give any benifits, but yes have many other qualities to share like, honesty, care, listening, talking, and live every second of life .

I have notthing to loose
9920999219

Hi l am nek how are you

Hi I am arun and i intrested only six sad women call me any time 9674427701

I like

Hi. I respect your sentiments. At this age, you need a mature friend from a decent family. I wish to meet you. My cell number is 9922011911. Regards, Rajesh.

nine six four three nine three one two nine four..i am jimmy

my name is sameer mali.
I am intrested auntys.
call 9004797535

mmmm
i just want to say that i was in online relationship for last 9yrs
and still i believe not all women in the world are same.
likewise what do men want over 40 we can't judge but
obviously what they did not get for last 40yrs
of course :P ;)

love me and prove me best lover i am 45 age from Jammu.cell no 9906681344

I heard your story you must friendship with me and than enjoy for ever you will prove me rear lover and I will pay you of course.

Please reply with authenticity, support, and respect

Add a response...

Add a response...
Note my number 9962020188. Call me anytime.

Note my number & call me anytime 9892605421

I am from uttarakhand my number 08954635087

Hey i 43 m from ahmedabad

I am sanjay patil age 46, dob 22 Sept 69 and always on look or want to be a friend on a globe, lets share our thoughts and feelings on the mail and if you feel comfortable and find suitable as a friend to go out then always welcome otherwise we can be the net friends always

i like your profile i meet to you my email id is kakara9850@gmail com. you want meet me pls. date time place mail to me above mail id . i am admin officer. iam 40 years old .

i like your profile i meet to you my email id is kakara9850@gmail com. you want meet me pls. date time place mail to me above mail id . i am admin officer. iam 40 years old .

i am in pune

ok. dear cn i meet u?

Send me a friend who is 45 and older

hi. i am intrusted on you. plz contact with me-9646977909

Hi am Robert looking for a nice female to be friend with, I am 62 not looking my age, my number 18763519061 person should between 40-57

Someone who loved the Lord must not smoke

No smokers needed person must be of nice esteem no drunken person.

Am Richard look for hot woman or lady that is well decent. Whatsapp me +2348169703201

Am richard I need hot and so sexy lady. Whatsapp me +2348169703201

Are you cheating with me my mobile no 8469025955

Hi am 47 matured person, want real good friend for LIFE time

Hi, respect to.you as you are a perfect human being. You are having your own self respect

Want a decent matured over 40- female friend only

Am 47 down to earth.person, looking for real good aged 40 +'female friend from kolkata or rest of India, working in Mnc and myself a singer also

Hi I 48 male need a matured woman as sex partner in nagpur with own accomodation I don't need money......

my ph. no. is 8894107063

Add a response...hi

may i add you please

mam just contact me please on my ph. +919736193815

I,m too from lahore 03014370286

Hi i m Ricky frm Mumbai looking for a nice truthfull and trustfull lady and i read abt wht u do'nt like in Guy and trust me "I AM THE GUY U R LOOKING FOR & I PROMISE U WO'NT REGRET AFTER MEETING ME"My whats app number is 09987990056 I Hope to hear soon frm U.Take Care :)

If u live in Delhi I am agree

FIRST OF ALL THANK U FOR REPLYING BUT CAN WE PLZ TALK ON WHATS APP SO I WUD REQUEST U TO PLZ WHATS APP ME ON 09987990056

Hi ladies,

My name is Arvind Tejveer living in mumbai and working in MNC Company.. i m very friendly in nature... i have posted many add earlier and i enjoyed alot wit NRi housewife ,Tv serial actress and college girls but i love to have sex with older women .. if any female from mumbai intrstd for secret sex with young guy contact me ur age doesnt mattr...

Please dont try to call or contact me b4 u msg because i have updated personal number..

Please Msg me ur Name and Age on 9930908093 or whatsapp me

I

I am really like and surrly put u in good spirits.

Im also fond of gossip making others laugh and makingtension free.also fond of movies and coffee. But at present not able to spend lavish ly
.once we develop contact result can be seen.

Having gone through hurt and rejections, Looking out for a good friend, life sometimes sucks, but then life is short so there is no point in holding grudges and hitting back. Looking to connect with nice friends, with whom i can share high & lows of life, a friend who will be there when i feel like talking my heart out .

Not someone who appear to be there but ditch you for their whims & fancies

I request you to please read my blog on www.tdc.ca/alone.htm

It should give you a fair idea about me. Its written under the name of deepak gokhale scroll down a bit on that page to read it

Hey

Hi how are u?

Hi send me ur contact will call you

Hi

I m men looking aged women for fun age between 35 to 50 cont.me on my mob.no7802077031

Add a response...

hi call i want to do friendship with you call me 8431557151

Add a response...

Add a response...

Add a response...

Hey Sweety !!! shall we meet !!! everything will be soft and smooth once we meet !!!! ok with you ? meet and decide !!! ok sweet

sweety !! call me once you say yes !!! on which no. ? oh yes no. to come once you respond !!!! i am waiting sweety !!!!! waiting !!!!!!!!

sweeety !!! i am not thinking anything !! thinking will be done by you once we meet !! ok !!! thanks and waiting

hi... I think i m what are u looking for pl call me at 919910200086

I think I m also looking for so as you are

I m from delhi

Add a response...

can i be ur friend to share good as well as bad moments of life

ok . i believe i am surely suit to your mind set . if possible call me 8939398541

I am looking for serious relationship. Please write me on my.emeesage@hotmail.com

Hi i m avi..i undrstnd that...if u really mean that then reply me..

If you are in Mumbai give me a buzz no 9769505268. I'll definitely call back.

Please miss call 8983714155

I'll tell you the truth. I'm a 40 year old man and I've tried online dating and I put my info out like I'm a single dad (full custody), good job, and I would like to think that I'm not boring but guess what; no hits. Not even with girls I know. I'm not attractive to females or I would have had some girls call me by now so it's all about looks for women too. Please don't try to fake that

hi i am from ahmedabad 41 male like to going to good relationship with u pls contact me smilesan910k@yahoo.co.in

I like old weman.

Add a response...

Hi..

Hi me gaurav cal me 9888568799

I am very hansome boy plz only one calll interest me plz

hi i m sameer from mum into travel services i m 42 interested to meet u if u 2 r can call me on 808042085 can spend a gd tym hope to hear frm u

pls call 9175324975

Hi

Hi my no.9266600215

i am 25 year old man call me8981705506 i givu all wat u want

hey call me you will never find another trusted guy in ur life my Name Raj -9702449575 your one call change change my life try it

Hi i m 39 and i m keen to get a really good matured friend.pls txt me at 8107 4444 06

This is crazy. I'm a 47 yr old male with great height to wt ratio, with a professional Job...decent credit post 3 yr Divorce and I can get a date on the internet. All woman want is the bad tattoo superjock, who cant commit or wont.. Average non tattoo professional no dates. So find this forum interessting

OK

I would like to talk with u

i read ur experience but i am surprise how a good human being can do this.

Hi I'm lonely & looking for mature females friendship cell 8108653534 AsAp

I would like to contact you

hi i jagadeesh i woud like to contact u

Oh, you've been really into Shrtykh May Wedding May You see it up close

If u r in Pune call me 9823023988 I am raj

Hello there, i am a men 42 years old, i am looking for women over 40's too,

Just try me,

i am madavan 46yrs looking for a good lady, same like you just to go for a movie, have coffee and pass our time nicely.......if anybody have interest my number +919176560115

I am man of with almost a similar want and am looking for a lady 45+ to be my companion and may be a relation.

I want to expound on what Stevem7 said. He's somewhat right.
But let me tell you why! And why some of the other posters are right but for entirely the wrong reasons.
I'm 40. Divorced. Dating for the last couple years.
I spent my 30's with my ex-wife. Wasted them with her is more like it!
So yes, maybe I'm having a bit of a "mid-life crisis". I want to live an exciting life. I want to go to night clubs. Hit the bars. Travel without warning. Sex in the park. Do some drugs. Live like I did when I was 25. And why not?! It's my life! It's *my* life. I should get to spend it how I choose. There's nothing holding me back.
Now, what does that have to do with you? I've dated a lot of women in the last two years. From 27 to 43. And so far, only a few 27 to 32 wanted to or could live the life I want.
Women older than that either had kids or other responsibilities, or most often wanted to settle down and live a quiet life. Travel? Maybe. Night clubs? Only on a Saturday night, if then. Sex in the park? We aren't in college any more. Living like you're 25? No thanks.
Fine. That's fine. Then we are not right for each other. But don't be upset when I'm chasing 30 year olds.
I'm sure there are exceptions, but I haven't met any.

From this description, I figured you were a lot older than your age! I agree with most of what you wrote. I would like to find someone around my age, who didn't look it or act it...someone who, like me, wants fun and adventure...not someone content with just sitting at home and watching paint dry.

Hi dear wanna friendship with u

hi i m 32 year male
from ahmedabad

I am in my 40s and in the online dating scene. I have found it to be very frustrating. I have found two types of 40 year old men for the most part. The players who have been in marriages and other long term relationship who have been unsuccessful at remaining faithful and will probably continue to struggle in that area. The other type really do understand commitment are are capable of it but are maybe no longer up to putting the work into making it work. There is a lot more I could say.... I know I am jaded. What do you think?

There is nothing wrong with having a list; unfortunately though, we must never admit to this. It is so easy to say that we are simply seeking a companions with whom we can enjoy our lives but it is of course, much easier said than done. The loveliest man somehow shows his true colors eventually and it is up to us to ask all of the pertinent questions. I know, for example, that a Howard Stern fan is a person with whom I will not get along. It would be in my best interests, for example, to steer clear of this "type" of person. This would not only be for the my sake but for the man's sake as well. If we forget our proverbial lists we simply walk blindly into situations that we do not need. Most men do not care so long as they are getting sex...and do not get me wrong, many women are like this as well but some of us have different hopes, dreams and desires and for this reason we must be selective and not forget about the list.

Get rid of your list and get a real partner instead. People are people not a list. if you have some long list of expectations you may miss out on something real. And just perhaps real good in your life. For me I just want a loyal kind loving gal over 21 so if we were to want to drink we can. Not a list.

I have a announcement to make, "TIMES HAVE CHANGED ", "TIMES ARE CHANGING ", "CHANGE IS INEVITABLE "...

People or in this case men over 40 want what they want, when then want and how they want. One more we're living in the best of times, but simultaneously these can also be thr worst of times too. The individual decides, however it sure helps to have some optimism and confidence.

What do we want?
A career or to provide beyond tomorrow.
To be cared for and supported through and through.
To be all you need, but at times I need ME time and other times I'd love to fulfill my role in your life as a friend and especially a confidante.

Regarding communication, countless make up their own rules as they go, I'd like to reiterate that you take the initiative and CALL me (kidding ). Don't be nervous when you call, be courteous and state the reason for the call. I heard the following long ago the English language is the the hardest to learn. Added stress is that of NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION.

Whats funny is we typically want the samethings but fear and rejection keeps the other in the perverbial box or the walls up til its safe to truly express ones true feelings.

I hate the stinking so called game, where the players have outlandish rules when all ya oughta begin with I dig ya and share you with the one you have audience with.

...just too much pressure.

Love is possible, do your HOMEWORK and be patient.

having my very first experience with dating a 40+ man and im 30. usually date older guys so i have no idea what to say when he asks what i want in bed or even what restaraunt I want because i am so used to dating younger and same age. Never had an eager to please instead of an eager to be pleased unfortunately. I really like this post since it assured me im headed the right direction by doing my homework. still searching on how to conform to an older man...

oops i meant i havent ever dated an older guy but you probably got that lol

I agree with you sjhanna...it's been my experience as well

I don't know what they want but I know what I want is flexibility, no family drama, have to be over their ex, open minded, straight forward to name a few things..by the way if i am not interested i say so...

Who CARES what they want?

I know this sounds flippant. I am 41, divorced, and I am sick to death of trying to figure out how to please men that never end up appreciating it anyway. It isn't our responsibility to figure out how to take care of them. Spent the better part of my life emotionally care taking men. Don't waste your time.

Be yourself. Stay open to meeting like minded people and just love and stay true to yourself.

Dear sjhanna, i understand your feeling, we both leave far away from each other, our both thinking are same, after age of 40 to 45 ppl needs campenion to share both life, n walk on t beach down t star, go to nice resturant for candle dinner, every young age ppl look face 1st, they dosnt see the lady or girl is true honest n selfrespected, every young want sex, they cannot understand any feeling, i want to write more bt then you will get boring...!