I am wondering if any of you have this issue. I am 43 and my divorce is almost final. I was married 10 years and disconnected for years from my abusive (emotionally) husband. We split recently and quickly due to domestic violence. I started dating already. I have been ready even though we haven't been apart long I guess because I have had no feeling for him for about 8 years.I have been on an online site and have met some great people. Very good luck so far. I am also reading alot of books like the Manual and Why Men Love *******. Great books.First guy I met (after long chats, texts and phone calls) He was amazing. We got along great and had insatnt chemistry. Started to actually have a relationship. Never got to sex. After about 3 weeks he dumped me. saying he just wanted friends for now because he has to finalize his divorce even thought they been separetes 2 years.Anyway I got really attatched to him but continue to date. The problem I face is my neediness. My Dad left when i was 4 and had no contact for 7 years. Came back and we talk still but have never had a great relationship. He is /was never there for me. So I suffer in my relationships by coming on to strong. I get scared of losing a person I like and get to be too pushy. I hate neediness in men, but i look desperate myself and I hate the feeling I have inside. I even know when and what I'm doing wrong but can't seem to stop. I hate it. Its like I'm mental. I just want to figure out why I so need a relationship to validate myself. It hurts to know how I cause these losses in my life and how I can't seem to stop.I know this is why I can't keep a good guy. I have days when I control my neediness and others I just screw up everything. Its like I can't just sit back and let him pursue. If I do he may leave like my dad did, so I have to stay right in thier face. A kiss of death I know.But I feel powerless. I am a cool person and not nutty. Only in this way. If anyone can help me plaese do. I am sick of getting stuck with jerks because I scare away the good guys. I don't want men to be the focus of my life but they always have been. I just want to stop this sabatoging behavior. Thanks.