Holy Smoking Batman...

My life story of smoking is a roller coaster to say the least. I started smoking when I was about 8 years old. My older sister and I stole a carton of cigarettes from an open camper at the campgrounds where we camped all summer every year. We took the carton and shoved it into  a knot in a tree in the woods and every day we walked out there to smoke a few ciggs here and there.  We only smoked int he summer time and when we stopped camping when I was about 11 ish, I didn't smoke again until I was 13. My boyfriend and all of the friends we hung around smoked, so I smoked. I didn't smoke often and I quit when my boyfriend and I broke up. Then I entered high school and started smoking again. I found a friend that was a senior and he was 18. He bought me cigarettes with my lunch money every few days. I smoked until I was 16. My parents found the pack of ciggs in my back pack. My dad told me that if I didn't quit smoking, he was going to by a a big box of nasty cigars and make me smoke the whole thing. I threw out my pack on my own. I didn't smoke again until I was 18 and could by cigarettes on my own. I was going to a concert with my friends and I wanted to smoke. I smoked a few packs of cigarettes after that and then I stopped again. I smoked the occasional cigarette when I was out with friends or drinking at my place, but for the most part, I wasn't a smoker.

Then three years ago or so, I had some really hard times in my life and I started to hang around a really sketchy group of people. I started to pick up some of their habits, including pot and cigarettes. I was a really shady person at that time in my life. I did a lot of things I'm not proud of, but it's life ya know?! Shortly after this all started, it ended...everything that is except the smoking. I stopped everything else, but I can't seem to kick my smoking habit. I hate the way it smells, I hate the way it tastes, I hate the way it makes my throat feel, I hate the way I can't breathe, and I hate the fact that I smoke around my kids on occasion. I'm very disappointed in myself for not stopping sooner, but I have made a commitment to stop smoking since my daughter stopped sucking her fingers. I am starting the process today. I'm smoking cigarellos instead of cigarettes because they make me hurt more. Then in the morning I won't feel like smoking at all. By the end of tomorrow, I should be smoking no more! =)

trehuginhipee trehuginhipee
26-30, F
1 Response Mar 27, 2008

Good luck! I really hope you succeed!