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I Am A Sociopath. If You Have Questions. Now Is The Time.

I am not your typical sociopath. Serial killer, unable to make friends, etc.

I did have trouble making friends when I was young. But i soon learned what everyone was looking for.
I am able to fake emotions and actions I pick up from different people I knw.

Once I knew what worked with who, it was easy.

I tried to make friends with a guy I lost contact with so I would have enough brothers for my wedding.
I was with a girl for 2 years just so I could make her life miserable by getting her attached and than breaking up with her beacuse she made my life miserable.

During the start, I had no feelings about hurting other people's feeling.
I still don't, but I have learnt what hurts and what should not be done if you do not want to offend people.

I have learned to be a social charmeleon adapting to different people and at different working environments.

As sociopaths, we do feel regret and attachedment pretty much like you are attached to your car.
The key difference that seperates us is we see other humans much like you see objects so other humans are pretty much like robots to us.

I know I want to kill the idiot that everyone else in the office hates, but I also know that the risk of getting caught isn't worth it, that is why I don't do it.
If there was a god and he handed me a knife and told me I won't get caught I won't hesitate to slash his throat.
I want to rape every single hot girl I walk past, but again, the risk of getting caught.

I have grown and adapted into this society where I know I can't do anything as I please.
Everything I do has an objective (Normal people call it Motive i believe).

If you have a question for the typical "Adaptive, smart, able to climb high in the workplace" Sociopath.
Now is the time. Post it in the comments and I will try to answer them.

Learn how they work and how they think.
ARealSociopath ARealSociopath 22-25 157 Responses Jan 16, 2011

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I think I got a sociopath to truly trust me as a friend and not try and manipulate me and just go for other people. I broke his trust recently. How do I get a sociopath to trust me again? He won't acknowledge me at all. Lost cause trying to contact him over and over again?

I have a friend who's intelligent, fun, generous and considerate but also lies a lot and is very unreliable. She's recently admitted to me that she has sociopathic tendencies in that she can't empathise with most people. She's said that although she doesn't like most people she has a core group of six or so friends (me included) who she genuinely likes spending time with. I'm really struggling with this revelation and questioning whether she can truly like me and her other 'friends'. Are these two things mutually exclusive? Also, she often complains of being sick with the flu or gastro. I think she's lying most of the time but was wondering why she does it, is it to gain sympathy?

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I'm 16 and I've done tests online and it's said on all of them I am mostly a sociopath it was a real suprise to me I'm not sure what to do my parents don't know and I feel like I shouldn't Tell anyone

I appreciate that there is a subjective ononjudgemental forum for me to educate myself. I believe everyone deserves to be loved and supported right where they are. I love a sociopath and am trying to find my way.

If a sociopath is with someone they say they love and has cheated several times will they fight to keep the relationship going? Say I leave and ignore him will he call crawling back or just move on to continue seeing other girls? Mind you I just had his 3 month old son. He also told me he wanted to marry me and spend his life with me. I just want to know will he fight to keep me and if he does will he also just continue to cheat on me?

You may be a sociopath but not based on this post.

For the record, it is normal for teenagers to act/be more sociopathic than mature adults. Also, not every murderer/criminal is a sociopath.

Psychologically, sociopaths never grew up. Children learn, in time, that the world does not revolve around them. Sociopaths don't get past this stage. They are basically adult children. The difference between a sociopath and a schizophrenic is that sociopaths don't experience hallucinations or delusions, but they both operate narcissistically.

I understand that you don't want to get caught raping and murdering. I hate to break this to you, but everyone has these fantasies, and not everyone is a sociopath. The problem with the vast majority of people is that they repress these horrible thoughts, and create defenses. Your significant other could be a shopaholic because she actually wants to murder you, and it's manifesting in neurotic control so that she doesn't lose control and kill you. Does this make her a sociopath? No. The difference is that she has developed an unconscious defense, which means she experiences feelings, and a tension state known as guilt, around these unconscious desires.

Also, basic relationships are give and take. Why would I be friends with someone if they did nothing for me? Every relationship has a "motive".

It is my belief that there is no true sociopath/psychopath as we know it in pop culture (American Psycho, Nightcrawler). Yes, there is this condition. I have had good friends with it. The most bizarre aspect of their behavior is how they latch onto you and spend an incredible amount of time and energy mimicking who you are. They single white female you. It's bizarre. They have no interests of their own. In this sense they simply *try* to be manipulative and cunning for the sake of their survival in civilization. However, most of them fail. Their primary emotion is extreme rage. It is predominant and therefore weakens the three other emotions: sad, glad, afraid.

Like I said, contrary to popular belief and media portrayal, sociopaths are NOT cunning. They try to be. They are impulsive, often drug-addled, and their lives tend to fall apart right before their eyes. They don't see any of this as a problem though, because they don't care, even about themselves. A sociopath's business could be failing, relationships falling apart, and be close to death with addiction, and it would not get them into therapy. They repeat the same actions regardless of consequences. Two out of the three sociopaths that I know have been in jail. Their offenses, to them, were nothing - harassment, abuse, drug charges. Clearly the law disagreed.

The main characteristic, according to diagnostic criteria, of a sociopath is that they don't feel regret or guilt AT ALL.

Another thing I've noticed with sociopaths is that they contradict themselves often. They don't have feelings to guide them, and are impulsive, so they may say one thing in one moment and assert that they think the opposite in the next.

My main experience with them has been horrific. It is awful when you realize that your whole friendship has been based on them taking cues from you on how to exist in life. Thinking that you actually have things in common, and realizing that they are just pretending to like certain bands, and feel certain things on par with your beliefs and emotions. They are also FUN to be around because of this, and are extremely inductive. If someone does not feel their own rage and negative emotions, a sociopath can be a relief, an outlet for them to express how they really feel. A sociopathic friend won't judge you if you have fantasies of murder. Other friends may, because they, themselves are not in touch with their own rage.

I recommend staying far away from sociopaths. I would like to say that maybe there are some good ones out there, but the truth is that they have the emotional IQ of an inanimate object (if we're talking about objects here, the reason they see others as this is because they are objects themselves. They externalize their own experience onto others). This means that even if they are trying to be good, they can't. They will slip up. They will hurt themselves and you.

My best friend was a sociopath. I knew her for twenty years. It all came to light when I lived with her for a year. True, blue sociopath through and through. She ended up being SCARY. She has many casual friends, and her surface personality is one of altruism. She will go on an expedition to plant trees but cannot recycle to save her life. She doesn't give a ****. It is all a ruse. She hasn't done anything really wrong at this point, but I am certain that she will end up in jail one day. Of course, it won't be her fault. She will find a way to put the responsibility on something, someone else.

The strange thing about her, also, is that she is very attached to childhood. Her and her mother still post and have pictures of themselves as small children. This is also a characteristic of a sociopath, in which they are attached to the past. This lends credibility to the idea that they are stuck in a narcissistic phase of childhood, still considering themselves the center of the world.

JUST SAYIN'...

You seem to have some real experience with this. Without getting into too much details, what happens when two sociopaths date? I am more curious of the dinamic of this. My brother is a massive sociopath and has hurt my family many times. I, the little sister, have been the only one to pick up on this till recently (my parents finally caught on). I cut all ties 2 yrs ago. No illusions here. However, from what I've been told things have only got progressively worse since he started dating someone very similar to himself. How does this relationship work? If there is no one to control then what's the appeal to them? It might be helpful to mention that I believe he has a higher IQ then her and he's also 10 yrs her senior.
I'm very interested in discussing this with you and (if interested) am willing to go into further detail.
Please let me know :)

I know it's maddening dealing with a sociopath let alone a sociopathic family member. It's important to remember that they are people also, although, in my opinion, very damaged ones. It is my belief that overstimulating emotional experiences in life could lead to a psychological defense which bars all/most emotions. There are a number of narcissistic disorders that may look like sociopathy, including bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder. It's possible that the girlfriend may have one of these and is not a true sociopath (phased of it, maybe). It's also important to consider if drugs/addictions are involved, as an addiction alone can make someone appear sociopathic (though it's hard to tell what came first). The only advice I can give you is that you cannot really help anyone. You can only help yourself. It is important to be there for the family members you love, but being there and listening is enough. You've made the right decision to cut ties. If you are having a hard time dealing with emotions caused by the chaos, it is helpful to talk to a therapist. As for what two sociopaths together looks like - I imagine it will end destructively - like a war. It's interesting that they are together because most sociopaths I've seen befriend/hang around those who are vulnerable, and usually smell their own off the bat - going into some kind of battle mode.

are you a qualified Psychologist?

I am just shy of a MA in mental health counseling, and work as an assistant mental health counselor.

I also read somewhere. If sociopathic behaviour is stopped and dealt with at a young age by parents it can stop certain behaviour. would you agree with this?
also, have you heard of sociopathic rescuers ? they stand up for their friends. whether theres a motive in this or not - its evident in some. they are not totally good but they are able to deal with conflict easier that empaths as they have little to no fear. whoch makes it easy for them to stand up for others sometimes. I have a friend like this but often there is a motive or a reminder of when 'they helped that time'. there is a lot of negative things with this friendship too, such as gaslighting and slandering others in order to forge a friendship or bond - which often forms a deal instead. nevertheless, they can rescue others.

I had a very good sociopathic best friend. I was duped by her behavior until I lived with her. When I did not give her the attention she needed, she attacked. She stood up for me a lot in the past - like I said, was my best friend - but I also knew that she cheated on her fiancée and poisoned her "lover's" boyfriend with Visine. Should have been red flags but I never thought she'd do something like that with me. She tried to hit on me and ultimately accused my boyfriend of a crime to try and split us up. Mind you, this is not always conscious behavior. It also important to remember that yes, there may be moral sociopaths out there. And there may be really awful empaths who will also screw you over. You know who you can trust until you don't trust them anymore.

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im 14 and i did quite a few tests online and passed as a sociopath, but I'm not sure i am. i felt quite disgusted for a moment when i thought of you slashing someone, i mean i always do feel like killing someone when that person makes me angry but i don't think i would actually do it. I'm not sure whats stopping me, knowing that its wrong or knowing that i won't get away with it. or are both reasons what stops sociopaths and its not what stops "normal" people? i also do feel pain, quite easily in fact when it has to do with me but i don't quite pity others. even for my parents. my mom right now has cancer, but when she told me i didn't cry or anything. i just went "oh" and it was just that. i was thinking about it more logically like the hospital bills and things like that. other than these two, I pretty much have all the characteristics of a sociopath. so i don't know if I'm just a growing to be sociopath, or just a person with sociopathic characteristics but not a sociopath, or am i lying to myself thinking that I'm not a sociopath when i am.

You're a teenager. Wait fifteen years.

My ex boyfriend is definately either a psychopath, sociopath or narcissits!! I've been with him for 3 years, and our relationship was, is, a rollercoaster ride!! I was very in love with him, and thought he was to! but in the end it was all his way or nothing! he's screwed me over with work, family, friends, the list goes on, my life is very ruined from him!! but nothing is ever his fault, he is full of excuses..never says sorry for anything. And he just discarded of me and didn't care.. I was so upset and was begging him to make up with me, as I had nothing left! and he wouldn't. I couldn't believe how he could just leave me like it. I then found out he had been lying about things to me..I found out he had been on a dating site! He just denied it!! I got fed up one day, and insulted him really badly, among other things, I told him he was a liar, deceitfull, selfish and shallow.. I told him i had blocked all his contacts and never wanted to hear from him again! Now he wants to be friends, something he said he would never do... I don't get it, after everything why would he want to be friends?? he says he thinks we had something special and doesn't want to lose me, after discarding me, he constantly contradicts himself! he just lies all the time!

This is my boyfriend who I just had a baby with is acting now. He told me to my face he was never going to fight for this relationship even though he told me previously he would. He cheated with 4 different women a month after I had my baby he also started talking to girls on dating sites when I found out I got pregnant and I didn't find all this out until a month ago. I thought he loved me and wanted a family with me but it seems like he wants to just live a single life having meaningless sex with random women. Btw when he cheated he brought them to our house and had sex with them on our couch and our bed and did things with them he would never do. Things I use to beg for and he just told me he was drunk it just happened. I feel humiliated and ashamed for believing he really loved me.

My teacher is a narcissistic psychopath.
He's french, arrogant (not that weird when he's french though XP), sticky, not that handsome and walks like there's no one else on earth better than him.
He started with our class as a history of art teacher, we got to know each other, we talked about philosophy (usually existential) and i felt like i found someone on the same level of thoughts as me (note that we're in Egypt) and imagine what an 18 years old could do with that even if he was 34.
He's very good with words and is able to convince you with two opposite ideas at the same time just to confuse you and to offer his own answer afterwards, while our minds aren't as old as his I couldn't judge but then I found that our head teacher shared the same ideas after he came and he was able to make her do what he wants ( but that only lasted for a year and then they couldn't bare each other).
We exchanged facebook accounts, I added him on his public account and then he added me on his private one. He gave me obvious more attention than the rest and payed a lot attention to my reactions.
Note that he's a master in controlling his reactions and all of his reactions to his surroundings are summed up in a raise of his eyebrows whether he's mad or happy or anything, and he also showed disgust often.
He doesn't seem to bare any student outside of class even if he's always charming and nice but his eyes are just so malicious and always lying!
The next year he gave us french class and he immediately started divided the class into those he likes, "the others" and me. Usually the ones he like are the one who give him attention and are focused during class. Even though he didn't show this at first but soon he did.
He started love-bombing me from the first day, knowing so much about me from facebook he talked about everything I wrote on it on that day, from books to music bands always finding the right context to put it in. He waited for my response all the following week but I was confused enough to get scared of him especially after he leaned his hip all the way to his "stuff" on my arm while I was writing and waited for a reaction!!! On that very same first day he looked right through my eyes for a whole 5 seconds 2 times while he was sitting in front of me and I as usual didn't make any reaction XD ... This used to make him mad, he even said to me in the middle of the class do you always think in the inside share something with us! He then started giving me books sometimes from the library and sometimes from his own always normally and very nice but though there was something wrong with the way he did everything! He gave me poetry first then a novel that discussed right and wrong where the protagonist was going to kill unwillingly a girl but he could also save her . And he chose to kill he because he was sure he won't be punished. Which is a very weird choice when you don't even know the person! The author wanted to say that if there were no consequences we would all be evil. Very psychotic and I wasn't so surprised when he told me: after reading a lot by this author you'll finally adopt his way of thinking!!!!! and I simply nodded as always and left him always confused.
All the books he gave me talked about right and wrong and we had to write a brief summary about the novels we read... And he always chose for me really really hard books that needed a lot of analyzing and I always refused to discuss them with him when he tried to. He wanted to convert me or something I don't know. Or maybe he thought I was like him in some way, my body language was the same but that's just because I use to act and exaggerate when I talk not for any particular reason, but people just need so much presence and I can't be my quiet self introverted around them.He would see me do that and laughs quietly while he passes. He never gave up on me, always treating me nice.So he altered his attention to those who surrounded me and started giving them books too and all of them were discussing totalitarianism and stuff like that. He hated our veil and wanted us to be all atheists and to "save us"! He tries to have an influence as much a he can.
When he gave us movies he gave a friend of mine and me, just the two of us a semi-pornographic movie. He knows what would that do to our feelings especially in a girl's school.
He used to stand in the middle of the class and raise his arms so his shirt shows a little of skin and then watches our the reaction, it was disgusting ( I mean, he didn't even shave up to his belly button :o) He has poor hygiene but it didn't show except outside of school, he was actually pretty descent in school. Out he didn't change his shirt and it was a very used one.
He kept his enthusiasm with me and his interest because he was finding me a challenge, he discovered I understood him very well and I started seeing hate at the end in his eye.
Anyway I sent him a message on facebook because I didn't make it the last day and told him thank you for every thing and the books and all that, and he replied with only: thank you.
He's 35 with no friends.
He came to Egypt 5 years ago maybe running away from responsibilities.
His facebook is filled with status from his french friends telling him he should call.
He uses music as a drug, he says he travels to discovers music ...
He's an alcoholic, we found out that even the mint he drank in class was vodka!
He has the face of a coward malicious lying alcoholic, which showed at the end of the year more clearly.
He looses himself in literature, he reads, plays music and runs away from big social gatherings.
He has a parasite's life and he's one!
-
I'm 18 btw and I'm sharing this because I have no idea if I overreacted or he's actually a sociopath .... And you know that thing about 18 :D

You hit the nail on the head when you said, "He has a parasite's life".

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How do you get a sociopath to confess? My daughter needs proof (or a confession) that her sociopath husband has been with someone else, and there is no way he would ever tell her if he thought it would help her. He abandoned her four years ago and has put forth no effort to contact her, but he has imagined all these years that she is still there waiting for the day when his glorious self will announce he is ready to have her back. He is hiding out in another country and we have no address, so we can't hire a detective. He is also very tech savvy and only uses aliases on the internet for any dirty work he might be up to. My daughter recently got in touch with him via email (under the pretense that she had family pictures of his to give back to him,) and he was thrilled to get the attention, of course. He is oblivious (also, of course) to the incredible amount of damage he left behind and that we are still dealing with. My daughter just pretends that everything is fine and is interested in knowing how he is. (She has learned well how to deal with sociopaths.)

He is the type of sociopath who thinks he is a saint, not like mere lustful mortals. He lives on **** and playing with himself, though. What angle could she come at to make him tell her any intimate details involving someone else he might have done?

Leave him alone and get her to see a therapist. There is a reason she is keeping such a terrible person in her life. She has enough proof that he his horrible and damaging to her. She has the power to get him out of her life and for some reason she stays attached. There is inner work that needs to be done on her part.

As my message said, they have not been together for years. She is not in the least attached to him and she is not keeping him in her life. The question was, "How do we get him to confess to having committed adultery?"

Maybe I misunderstood your post. Are you wanting him to confess so that she can get a divorce? As I understand from your post, you refer to him as her husband, but you say he abandoned her four years ago. If the motive for confession is divorce, then the fact that he is not present and abandoned her should be enough to file without the confession. If the motive is not to cut ties with him entirely, then I am correct in assuming there is some other reason you and your daughter are involved in this drama?

This line in your post is concerning: "My daughter just pretends that everything is fine and is interested in knowing how he is."

That is why I wrote my first response. She is interested in knowing how he is? Can you ask her and yourself why? This is attachment, and not being able to let go of someone incredibly damaging. It needs to be explored and resolved so she can move on and allow more positive people and situations in her life.

If the motive is not divorce, then the interest in attacking back and trying to get someone to behave in a certain manner, or trying to get someone to do anything, is manipulative behavior and is narcissistic retaliation.

I guess a shorter response would be: You can't get him to confess.

Sorry I didn't make what happened clear. The part about my daughter just pretending "that everything is fine and is interested in knowing how he is" was only referring to how she talked to him when she was trying to get him to spill the beans on what he had been up to. She had to make him believe that there was no problem between them and that everything was fine. She wanted him to view her as a friend that he could confide in. (It didn't work. He still lied with every breath. He told her he wasn't in Japan, but a trace on his IP address proved that he was.)

There is NO attachment and no interest in retaliation. We (my daughter and I) just want this person out of our lives forever. For her to be free to remarry, however, she needs to know that he has committed adultery. (No judgment calls necessary, please. It is a matter of conscience for her.)

Thank you for the short, painful response which, unfortunately, is the truth: He never will confess.

I understand wanting to truly know - with a confession or concrete evidence. I have been in a similar situation with a sociopathic individual. All I want is for the truth to be revealed. But it's been a hard lesson for me to learn that the most I can do is trust my intuition. That is all the knowledge anyone needs (though yes, a confession would be nice!).

Well, if nonverbal communication counts, we might have caught him. A Japanese woman in his Google circle posted a picture of a pretty baby that looked vaguely familiar to me. I clicked on the picture, and up popped her previous profile picture of her and Mr Charm with his arm around her and a wedding ring on his hand! (He knew at the time the picture was taken that he was not legally married to my daughter any longer, and he never wears rings just as jewelry. Her next profile picture after the one of him and her together is of the baby that looks just like him.

Get this, now. I messaged the woman to ask if she was married to Emmanuel and if the baby was his. Boom! Within 24 hours, she shut off access to her pictures, the ability to see who was in her circles, and the ability to search for her in Google; and Mr. Charm COMPLETELY deleted EVERYTHING with his name on it on the entire web. He shut down his email account and won't respond to skype. Now he is GONE. What a sick person!!!! He dumped her, but he will do anything to make sure she is never free from him.

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Good of you to share your sociopathic perspective with the rest of us. What people don't seem to get is that president's, CEOs, airline pilots and surgeons-typical high achievers-are often sociopaths and this allows them to succeed. None of these professions should attract empaths or folks with a startle response. Frankly, I'd rather have a sociopath flying my airplane or operating on my brain as they won't freak out when the **** hits the fan. On the other side, they make horrible friends as they try to exclude healthy people you might attract on your own. Unfortunately, I worked for a high functioning sociopath (a part time job thank God) for years. Sadly he pretended to be social worker which is a really bad career choice for his clients and staff. However, taking advantage of such folks was highly lucrative for him and I guess satisfying. And, as he is in an industry that defaults to blaming the client for any and all failure this must be just even more fun for him--taking the afflicted's money and then blaming them. It wasn't till I read your narrative that I realized there is so much intent in their behavior. Thanks again for sharing!

I think it is a misconception that high achievers are "often" sociopaths. Sociopaths are found in every field. There is no accurate scientific study that they end up in one profession over a next. I think it's important to acknowledge that plenty *high achievers* are not sociopaths. The nature of these jobs may lend to this misconception. In these professions, individuals go through vigorous training which allows them to face fear, or gain a different perspective. I personally don't believe sociopathy to be an asset in success. If this were true, one would have to compare a group of successful individuals to a control group of failures. The study would have to first determine a definition of success. After, the results would have to be that the control group (failures) are found to be more emotional and empathetic than those who succeed, implying that success is only gained through behavior that is detrimental to others that only a sociopath is capable of. Many of them may be successful, yes, but not generally because they are sociopaths. They are still people, and possess other qualities as well.

As a culture we are plagued by GROSS misconceptions, stereotypes, false assertions, much of which is perpetuated by the media. Wolf on Wall Street, Night Crawler, and American Psycho are all false portrayal of a general sociopath.

My boyfriend is sociopath. I find it weird how you guys don't feel pain but anyways is there away I can maybe hurt him? Do you know any way? Please let me know

Reject him.. Withhold sex.. Show him no attention.. Pick some guy out and tell him that guy is better..

dont listen to peoples advice on hurting a sociopath or getting even. you will lose and you will get hurt. they may face consequences of their actions but it wont stop them trying to get revenge. not all sociopaths are like this. but you dont want to take that chance. good luck

Would you be offended i somebody tells you that he or she discovered you are a sociopath? Do you have kids? If so, do you love them? I think my husband is a sociopath, y i want to tell him so

Do you listen to or like music?

Dude he's human not an alien. They just think differently.

I only want to know one thing, one single thing.

How does it feel to **** people over? How does it feel to manipulate and what are your common 'objectives'?

Ive been dating a sociopath for the last 4 years. The relationship has been physically, verbally and emotionally abusive. I have even tried to verbally abuse him with the sample statements hes said to me in hopes he'd see how devestating his words are. It didnt work and now he is angry. Accusing him of not having feelings etc. Has only made matters worse. Its as though i know his secret and im not safe. He pretended to shot me the other night but it wasnt a real gun. However I thought it was and saw my life flash before my eyes. He doesnt think i should be upset as it wasnt real. From reading different posts I have come to the conclusion that I'll never make him see what hes done has affected and the long term pain that has resulted. Am I correct in this conclusion? How do I safely get away from him? Also, he is obcessed with our sex life. Has cheated to find the same satisfaction. It has just caused me more pain, but again he says I should be happy he chose me. He has stated that he cant imagine sharing me with anyone else etc. There are lots of strings in this relationship that im entangled in. Please help me get away before something irreversible happens.

The only way you are going to get away from him is if you get therapy for yourself and figure out why you don't want to admit that you are able to cut ties with him. Strings are easy to cut but you have to want to do it.

do you find it difficult to be a sociopath? what is your reason for making this post?

It gets difficult as we get older.. But mostly we just don't give a crap.

I dated a sociopath for a little over six years. It was on again off again. I tried to leave many times however he finally came up with an engagement ring and wanted to 'get married as soon as possible' except he was dating a girl in Denver for several months and then she turned up with cancer. He opted to stay with her for some reason and finally walk away from our very difficult relationship. He cheats, lies, has no moral compass, and doesn't care how he hurts only some of us. Can you explain any of this?

I have married very recently - less than a year. and jus started discovering he is a sociopath.Typical qualities of faking love initially, charming me lots, fast forwarding the relationship, isolating me frm friends, trying to control my clothes, friends etc,criticism, extreme highs and lows, lotsa verbal abuses especially after drinking. Also recently found out that before marriage but during our serious commitment days he cheated very often on me with his ex wife. Even complained and bitched lies about me to her. He is now apologising a lot and begging to take him back.keeps sayin he did this before marriage and wud never cheat on his wife. My question is is there any chance that he will change?? Coz of the institution called Marriage.
Also what impact does alcohol have on a sociopath as i have noticed he mostly gets worse after a few drinks.

Sociopath can't be cured no matter what

He can't change but he can pretend to be exactly what you need. Basically he just wants you back to hurt you even more.

This sounds very difficult. He sounds like an alcoholic. I would try to address the alcoholism first and then figure out if his problem is deeper than that. Alcohol can really change someone's behavior. As an advocate for relationships (which I don't feel is common these days) and marriages, I think that couple's counseling will help. The hard part is that if he really does want you back, he will have to stop drinking. If he agrees to this, and counseling - I do think there is hope for your marriage. And yes, people do change.

I was recently told by a girl that I should stay away from her because she's a manipulative, deceptive sociopath who used me. She said she used me in the manner that when she got a boyfriend she told me he was gay so that I would stay in her life. She claims to have loved me, and lied to me so that she could have me in her life. She said she is dating him because people were pressuring her to date him, and stay away from me because she's 18 and I'm 24. She then told me that she was sorry, and that I should stay away because she's a sociopath and hurts those she loves the most. If she admitted she was one, apologized, and told me to stay away for my safety, can she really be a sociopath?

She's trying to make you pitty her. Listen,they can never love or feel. You're a victim to her. They lie. Everythimg that comes out is a lie. When a person is a sociopath they are selfish with there feelings and don't care about yours. They make it seem like your the best thing in the world for them but give it a few monthd and trust me you will torture but at the same time be addicted to her no matter all the horrible thing she has done to you. They are evil and monsters. Believe me I dated one and omg he was amazing (that's what I thought) and im still struggling Because he plays wit my mind and tell me to stay away from him Because he's sociopath and I forgave him again and he did the same. You are a victim.
You deserve better and no you can never change her. They can't be cured. They are known as illusionist

Not at 18.. In later 20's or 30's yes she could know.. And maybe she thinks your nice.. We can see good ppl and warn them

She sounds more borderline than a sociopath. Although it is easy to confuse the two. Also, she is only 18. Has anyone read A Clockwork Orange?

I have been dating my boyfriend for over 8 years. He has been abusive in every way. We have a 7 year old daughter. He has been to prison 3 times in his adult life. He has been out for over a year. He doesn't break the law anymore or really use drugs. We have had some abuse since his release. It seems like every 3 to 4 months. I've caught him on dating sites. He let his cousin move in. Neither one of them work. I feel like I'm supporting the whole world. It ****** me off. He says I'm in just. Anyways things have been off. We are only apart when I work. He accuses me off cheating. He always has. Its like he is intentionally giving me signs he is cheating. When I confronted him and asked if his cousin was setting him up he hit me and spit in my face. He said I better stop with the false accusations. This made my anxiety raise even more. He is making me feel crazy.

Hi, first let me start by saying thank you for opening up for questions. I need your help and so my question (s) is How do you view the world and what are your ethical principles Thank you:)

It said I had a reply but i don't see it.....*shrug

We see the world as our play ground. We can feel for our children but most don't want them because they're selfish or afraid kids will steal their attention.

I ADMIRE YOU FOR YOUR HONESTY I HAVE NEVER SEEN MY BROTHER CRY OR SHOW EMOTIONS OR ANY KIND AND HE HAS BEEN ARRESTED TO DATE FOR NO LESS THEN 12 SEX OFFENDER TYPE ARRESTS. DO YOU THINK HE IS ALSO A SOCIOPATH?

Well i have a question and i hope for an answer...im 16 years a female and my mother passed away in October of last year. During the funeral when her body was laid out i went to go see her i didnt cry nor did i feel any emotions i just looked at her and smiled. Every stopped and stared and they said "why arent you crying?" I just kept smiling and said "i dont really know.." and sat down in my seat next to oldest sister and younger brother i was the middle child of our family. When the pastor asked for final words my sister got up there and said "I think Nejla has a few words." I just looked at her and the crowd and back to her. I said "Sure.." I went up there and said "My mother was.." and i just bursted into laugher! I told the crowd "My mother treated me like **** when i was younger. Calling me ugly, a piece of ****. And worthless. I glad this ***** is dead. She treated her other kids with respect but me!" I just kept laughing and smiling to myself. I looked down at my sister and told "Dont cry ***** you know you dont miss her." And i walked out...When it was time for the after service or whatever my mothers family kept calling me disgusting and a psychopath. And the family asked who gets to keep her money and in the name was mine..."she doesn't deserve this ****" my uncle said. I didnt care i just kept smiling. After i took all my mothers jewelry and money and pawned it. I was left with about 200,000 or more, hell i didnt care. When i told my dad what happened he seemed like he didnt care he was actually proud of me for standing up for myself. He just hugged me and told im not crazy and i know im not...he said he experienced the same things when he was younger. Is this normal? I currently live on my own and the only person i stay in contact is my father. I dont need help do I?

Your not a sociopath. If you was you would have known how to adapt to that situation. Our goal is to fit in not stand out and we love to be admired.. What you did will never be admired.

you dont think one can behave like this if it was justified by the surroundings. what if the objective was the £200,000. i dont think a judgement can be made on this with a couple of paragraphs.
the same with other comments on this thread. not enough information IMO

I was with one for like a year and a half. I didn't know that he was at the time and he doesn't seem to know (or he just denies it). He seems less severe than most that I have heard about. Everything was going great until I started telling him about how frustrated my mom made me. He stopped seeing me in person because he would have to be around her to see me. He began to HATE her with a passion. He called her everything he could (using anything I told him or that he noticed) and it caused me a lot of pain. He started telling me to either promise to never see or talk about her again or break up. I eventually got him to "compromise". He told me that I could see her as much as I wanted and that he would help me through it as much as possible. (He seemed to think that me being around her was not good for me because she made me frustrated and sad). Later on, my mom separated us. No contact whatsoever. He was very mad and depressed from what I heard. When I used someone else's phone to talk to him, all was good for awhile. Back to normal. I found out that he cheated and confronted him about it. He just said that he needed a distraction. That really upset me. A week or two later, he promised to meet me somewhere (it was two hours away from where he lived) and bailed at the last minute saying that his mom wouldn't let him because she didn't want us together, that she would take away his car cause she was paying for it. Then, he broke up with me saying that we reached out limit and that it was too painful to be together. I have two questions: 1. do you think he is really a sociopath
2. Could he have really cared at all?

Btw, his best friend that is even closer to him than I was that I am like 90% sure is not a sociopath always told me what a good person he is and how he really did love me.

I have a question. He broke up with me for the third time six days ago and is still giving me the silent treatment. The first time he left it's because he cheated on me with a ******** and I didn't find out till a year later but he came back two weeks later. The second time he left again with no response and came back after I think he thought I moved on and asked for a book back that I borrowed but I don't even think he finished it or even ever read them... and this is the third time... but this time it was different. We had a perfect day the day before then all the sudden he go weird and called me 22 times because I hung up on him cuz he put me on hold and it irritated me. Then finally when I answered he was irritated with me and said he'd text me... then we talked for a few then I confronted him and I asked if we were together and he said "**** no" and haven't heard from him in still days but I haven't contacted him... he did randomly post a sad song and idk if I'm being paranoid but the title was "if you go , leave the key in the mailbox " which he gave me a key necklace at the beginning of the relationship was very important to me... plus he is very into post hard core and hasn't really listened to cute stuff since the beginning of our relationship which hooked me on him... the song was by "never shout never btw" so I'm wondering if that was on purpose...also... i don't know if he lost his job that he had for a year but his location on fb is never where he works it's either at different areas or his home at night but it's crucial he has to have a job because he has major payments to make... so can he lie about his location to **** with me I didn't know that was possible.. but when we were together he hated me knowing where he was cuz it bothered him so if it's possible I feel by him doing this it's intentional. And finally... idk if sociopaths have patterns on how they return depending on their plan and how the breakup happened... but is it possible he's taking a different approach on me on how he wants to target me this time.. lastly haha if I block him on Facebook will this **** him off or trigger him to try harder? Because I've been debating blocking him but I don't know which is worse. Keeping him on or blocking him? Thanks.

Why would you want to be with this tool?

I broke up with my boyfriend a few weeks ago and since then learned he's a narcissistic & or sociopath but I still love & want to be with him I know he is incapable of loving me ba but all the same I still want to be with him how do I get him to talk to me & come back to me ?

im 14, a female and im a sociopath, i do have some sick tendencies i wont mention here, but my main issue in this particular point in time is 'love' ive got most of it down, but its so dam difficult, i still do like people but its only towards an individual, but i am not dating that individual, im dateing someone whom is attractive funny exc.. no chemistry tho, and i have no emotional interest in this character, this is all quite hard to explain in text, but i need some help here, cuz this relationship makes me feel like a trapped rat, with smeone nudgeing my heart with a needle cuz i have no controll of this situation, and i know abandoning this relationship will destroy the advantages of being friends with him, and i want to maintain it, its all quite confuseing i know

Add a response...

I have a question. Could my ex sociopath hack into my phone and social media? I think he is staying with someone in my apartment complex. Could he be doing this? Thanks!

He could be doing anything.

Hopefully, you are able to answer some questions for me. I appreciate everything you said about not feeling. It seems like another world for me all together, because I am an empath (live mostly on feeling). If I can say one thing to you, it is this.....life sucks for both of us. When you are a sociopath you exploit and manipulate others to project a false image of who you are. When your are an empath you are too in touch with your emotions and you feel not only your own sensitive emotions, but you also can feel the emotions of those around you. It gets tricky. I'm interested in knowing from you and your personal experiences IF you ever got more horny in the middle of an argument with a significant other? I know the man I am dating (4 months)......is a sociopath.....and since I am aware of my true self, anytime I am trying to protect myself from his crazy bullshit excuses (that are never rational = LIES) we end up fighting mostly through texts. This can go on for 2 days, but when I get real honest and tell him I am mentally too strong for him and I consider him a 'dark soul' or 'emotional vampire' he will immediately send a text stating "I want to **** you so bad right now!" (Clearly, this is not a normal response if you are genuine)! Because, I am normal and I don't think about sex when I am upset.....I find this weak on his part. He only has one outlet for his emotions and I guess for most sociopaths the answer is sex. It's a physical way of dealing with emotional things. Do you agree? The real reason I ask is because, even empathy can be very sexual. We can be kinky with the right person. It may take some time, but we love the energy release and the intensity. On the other hand, sociopaths are like robots and it's almost laughable. He refuses to *** unless I do (because my ******* are his reward, not my reward). He would get so angry if he knew how many ******* I faked. I'm nobody's fool. I just don't need his pretend sulking and anger to come out. I've been keeping him around to learn more about myself! Something he cannot understand. My next question is....Do you ever take responsibility for anything? Obviously, you lie and your reactions to real life moments are always "OFF" (you give yourself away too easily, because you mimic only what you think to be an appropriate response)? Another question? ... Do you know how to define truth? Is truth something you take a guess at or do you actually know how to tell it? He lies about lying and nothing makes sense. If I find hard proof and evidence, he calmly says I'm crazy and that someone must be setting him up! This reaction from him is what starts most of our fights. I usually respond to him very rationally, "Well, high one is it? Is someone setting you up? And if so, who? OR am I crazy? Because those two separate things don't go together!" He always leaves. Thanks for your help......

My best friend was a sociopath (she was diagnosed as one by a therapist). When I initially met her I thought she was a little weird. But I was weird too. We were social outcasts I guess. So I ignored her weird behavior. Example. She'd talk in a choppy uneven stream. Often she'd repeat what she said said right after she finished. As in "Hey I like so and so they're really cool, let's hang out tomorrow." Then she'd say it again in a loop, "Hey I like so and so and so they're really cool, let's hang out tomorrow" she often mentioned her large array of "mental disorders" at first she only said that she had social anxiety disorder, which I believed without question. During this period she did seem to have some form of empathy. She seemed to like her dog Comet, and her cat (I don't think their name was ever mentioned.) But strangely they didn't like her one bit despite having grown up with her. She seemed to not know how to pet them. She'd just move her hand stiffly across their fur, with no love in the gesture at all. Her pets seemed to grow very attached to me. Whenever I came over her house they'd immediately run to me, (no joke).

I moved after a while. Although a few years later she began to talk to me online. We grew close again, much closer than before. I remember when I struggled with cooking out to my brother she was really comforting. She'd respond to my messages when asking for support or advice. She made sure that I felt secure. She used a lot of emoticons strangely and did not respond to my messages when I wasn't giving out my personal information or asking for advice. Which I thought was a little weird.

Then I remember when she said she had asbergers (self diagnosed). I thought yeah whatever. Then she said she had schizophrenia, later it was also depression. That's where I started to feel as if she was obsessed with self diagnosing or something. I openly doubted her by now, just sick her constant self-diagnosing. Hear me out, by now she's said she has social anxiety, asberger's, schizophrenia and depression at the same time, all
without any therapist actually diagnosing her.

Then she actually started seeing a therapist. Her therapist diagnosed her with sociapathy. Which I denied to myself at first but then I remembered how she talked about her cat. She'd mentioned how she said she was glad they were dying because they kept throwing up everywhere.

I remember how convincingly she made me think she cared. It was a little unnerving. She would seriously pretend that she cared about me. Whenever I was in a really bad mood she'd cheer me up somehow. But then the arguments started. She'd mention something and I'd criticize her about it and we'd go back and forth. Then she'd say horribly emotionally crippling things that she knew would wreck me. I remember she said that she "didn't give a damn about my feelings" She tore down my self-esteem really slowly. Until one night I attempted suicide and gladly failed in my attempt. I remember she mentioned that I should always be completely honest with her. So later on I mention it to her and she hardly responded. She gave me two-word responses and hardly talked to me.
Basically she'd had me develop a depenancy on her. I obsessed over her every word, she made me feel like everything was my fault. And nothing was EVER her fault. Always mine, and she manipulated me into thinking that was true. She used me just to get praise for her bad art that she hardly put effort into.

One day, when I was taking a little vacation she texted me after having hardly spoken to me for months. She told me everything. That it was all a lie. She said she'd faked all of her concern for ne. She never cared about me. She said that our friendship was just a sham. She said that she'll never talk to me again. That was the worst feeling I'd ever had. My alcohol addiction (that she'd told me wasn't an addiction at all before she ceased all contact with me) got even worse. I drank myself silly everyday. I became too scared to become friends with anyone. I'm just barely recovering now.


All sociopaths who see this. If you do in fact want to not hurt someone, please don't fake your emotions. Don't fake anything, because that will ultimately cause the people around you even more pain. I guess if I could explain emotional pain try to invision physical pain, but this is ten times worse, and you feel it all over you and not just in one spot but you feel it constantly. It's literally the worst thing anyone can experience. Just please try to put yourself in their shoes. Please don't fake anything, just be up front about everything.

I am not sure if the OP replied, but as someone similar to them, I will reply in their stead. I have been diagnosed with severe APD and sociopathy. I can tell you right now that your friend never had the intention to spare you harm. We all rarely do. You became useless for her, and so she took an aggressive initiative against you. Sociopaths can only be normal, caring people when they're faking. If she never faked anything, she would've never become your friend in the first place, I imagine. She probably only recruited you so you'd stroke her ego. I've done the same.

I am not saying this to hurt you at all. In fact, I offer my condolences. She did what she did consciously, and because she wanted you. Faking was how she got you as a friend in the first place. You falling into her web was rewarding up until the point she no longer benefited from you. One of the people I befriended became suicidal, and though I clearly displayed my intention to help, I think even lesser of them than I did before. It's just how we are. She likely felt even more victorious and superior from what she did to you. A very parasitic relationship.

Though we cannot technically place ourselves in anyone's shoes but our own, she probably fully understood your suffering and further fed off of it. It really is a peculiar thing.

Next time you find signs of sociopathy within anyone you encounter, drop them like a bad habit, and always be aware. Because we will not hesitate to exploit you and your feelings.

I wish you the best, and have a good evening.

Soiciopath can't be cured. EVER! remember that

It's a disorder they can't feel pain

i am a target as he put a main target he has madr me isolated he has threated my life. he wants complete control over me. he is not a dumb person he own his businesses hes young very good looking and so m i... its to the point were he wants to let me go but he wont he eez he wat ch ing he doesnt wantanyonr to have me hes saying he wabts me undayable i hate to say it but at this poimt im scared he will hurt me he has mafe it clear he wont let me go n everyone thinks hes okay smart charming. how do i notget killd please help me

I'm starting to realise that one of my best friends is a sociopath. We met this summer and clicked right away. I ended up spending a large part of the summer with him. He went to great lengths to do things for me and even said things that, when I thought about later, made me think he saw us getting married. My mom said she though he was a sociopath so I did the research and he fits the bill. My family has been hurt very badly by sociopaths at two different times so I'm a bit scared to keep being friends with him, but I've never been hurt by him so I'm not sure what to do. Is there a possibility that he might actually enjoy my company? Or is he just using me?

He is likely pulling you in to use you. Sociopaths only enjoy your company up until the point where they no longer have any use for you. We're parasites, and he will take whatever you have to give him. If he is not truly a sociopath, then that's good. Otherwise, to not fall prey to such charm. Trust me.

Of course your answer may not ne true, but what the hell. I believe my ex, only 2.wks., may be sociopathic. I texted him cruel words and demanded he NEVER contact me.again. Before our breakup, he.said he was confused and neede time to get himself together. He started out great an as I suspected cheating his behaviour escalated.to abuse. 1 yr.together only. He insists he cares for me more than he has ever cared for anyone but is afraid to love again due to hurt. Is it possible that a person could be a psychological basketcase causeing symptoms that seem sociopathis? Is it likely that since I took control and cut him off, he may try to contact me again to re-establish control. Our sex life was explosive , the best he'd ever had. Positively. Does this up the chances? I want to get over this and turn him away AGAIN.

I'm a 15 year old girl and my mom thinks I'm a sociopath an I'mnot to sure wether I am or not, but first let me tell you my story. When I was three about a had a older friend she was also a girl, she was my only friend at the time. But one day we went be hind her shed and there were already other girls there and she wanted me to pull down my pants, everyone else did to. And well you can imagine what happens, I was so confused my mom never mentioned anything about my sexuality ( still to this day we don't speak anything like that, besides we've never been close) anyways so I turned to my brother, I showed him what she has done. And well he was a boy so that sparked something so that was a big mistake. I never told anybody else. So a couple years pasted and my brother that I showed what happens to we " fiddled" with each other but the weird part I initiated it, but not only with him my other older brother as well. And I was only five. And not to mention that's the time I first met my father, I slapped him across the face and broke his glasses for making my pb an j wrong, he did nothing though. And when I turned seven we lived in a small apartment in a complex, there were lots of children and of course I made friends with a much older girl actually two but the seconds one she made me do something so unconfertible, I never made friends with my own age. Oh and around this time is when my dad started to scare me he use to spank me and my brothers at first but then he use to kick us with his steal toed boots on. And my mother did nothing. We only could find comfert in our grandma. So when I turned nine, we have moved twice scince then. I had met a girl she was in the same class as me. And right away sexualy invovled , but I didn'treally care cause we acted like girlfriends. So that lasted a few years. She was always kinda abusive an controlling. But I was like a dog following her around doing what ever she wanted me do. And during this time was the worst abuse of all by my father. And only once my mother tried to help, that was when he chased me and I hide in the shower and he found me and turned on the cold water and sprade me down then left so Igot on his side of the bed and layed down, he got very angry and that's when my mom had to fight him off. When I was 12 they got a divorce thank god. But then we moved again to the worst trailer park in my town witch I didn't mind I liked it. But then sooner then I knew I was living with my dad! For eight months I absolutely hated there my "stepmother" and I hardly ever spoke, she didn't really like me. There has always been emotional abuse, by my farther. But Now I'm 13 and living with my mom with her boyfriend he done drugs like spice and pot and once in a while something else I don't know what. I didn't mind living there but it wasn't the best in fact he was super rude to my brother. But never me. He is a register sex a fender. He never touched me though. We lived with him for about a year. Now we moved its only me and my mom, and that's about it, I may have missed of things but all well. I am super awkward out in public and my doctor Evan thinks so. But when I'm at home I sometime drink and iI have smoked pot. Apparently I am super aggressive and I hit my mom pretty often when she makes me mad. I usually go back to what ever I'm doing. An I feel kinda good in a way after words. But I am vegan. (: I don't phisicaly harm animals it don't interest me. But sometimes I find my self yelling at my dog or making him feel worthless. But I really try to control that but ussualy it don't work. And not to mention, I have never had friends growing up in fact Ihardly spoke in sschool even preschool. Except for the ones I mentiond . so thats it.

You're not a sociopath. If you have to ask the question of whether you are a sociopath or not then you most likely aren't. You also don't come off as one in your description either.

I just learned what I am and I do not like it. Although I do have a girlfriend I've had for 3 years but I'm getting to where I can't stand her, from what I'm reading she has socio and phsycopathic behavior. We also have a child together but in all honestly I love him (i think)but only to a certain extent and it bothers me because a father should love his son more, I think that's how I became a sociopath. Niglect, bullying, and growing up with a bipolar foster sister who was emotionally abusive.(she's all better and medicated now.) deep down I want to treat him better but I feel as if I flipped a switch and if I'm pissed i will 360 it toward who I think deserves it. And the fact my girlfriend is a controlling phsyco, does not help my sociopathic behavior. The only reason I don't leave her *** is because I'm attached and we have a child, a car apartment ECT together and everytime I think of leaving her, I think of how hard it was to build up to it and it just don't want to do it again. Help please

You are not a sociopath. You are in an abusive relationship that you are afraid to leave probably because you are afraid of either being alone, ending up alone, or finding someone else who is just as much of a jerk as the girl you are with now.

If you were a sociopath, you wouldn't let someone else control you. You would be in control. You wouldn't worry about your child or your girlfriend because they would just be objects to you. You would just leave. Sociopaths lack empathy and are impulsive. You are neither.

You need to seek help. If you can't afford it, try to find a low cost clinic near you or some kind of a crisis center. It seems like you want to leave but you are scared to do it. I think you are just emotionally hurt, confused and lost. You need to figure out a plan to ditch this girl and get a custody hearing so that you can have access to your child. I think you feel like you don't love your kid "as much as you should" because you see him as an extension of your girlfriend, who you don't seem to like at all. That is probably why you are not very nice to him. You seem like you are scared to take your anger out on your gf so you do it to the kid because he is an easy target. It's like if you get yelled at by your boss all day and come home and kick the dog. You need to get out now before you destroy your relationship with your son. Again, you are not a sociopath but you definitely need psychiatric help.

My 15 year old daughter has been dating this 16 year old boy for 7 months. Recently he decided to dump her and she kept her distance, even though he killed her heart. Now, after a month he is back and he says he doesn't want to lose her. He wanted to have sexual relationships with her but she didn't, that's the reason why I think he left. Why is he back? I'm so worried... Should she have taken him back.? What should she expect from his comeback?
Help please, a very worried Mom :{

All kids go through a few phases of sociopathic behavior driven by hormones.
I would say he probably got pissed he wasn't getting any and tried to look some place else and got shut down again. Knowing he had made progress with your daughter he tried to go back to her... emotional memories can be accessed and manipulated pretty easily with the help of hormones to pull off some crazy things (like a horny 16 year old in tears 'cause he loves her')...

agree with this. he probably just wants to get laid. isn't that like the main objective of teenage boys? blech i don't miss high school...

I know this is going to sound harsh but just try to listen: Teenagers are idiots (seriously, look it up, the brain doesn't finish fully developing until your mid twenties) and they love to get involved with other idiot teenagers. I know it sucks to see someone you love get involved with another person who is probably just going to hurt them but the best thing you can do is put her on the pill so if she decides to have sex with this boy (which she obviously shouldn’t, but whatever) she doesn't get knocked up and ruin her life. There isn't a whole lot you can do about it. She might be your daughter but you cannot control her life and if you try to she will hate you for it and might (probably will) do whatever she wants anyway. Encourage her to talk to her friends since they probably hate this boy as much as you do for hurting her and teenagers listen to their friends more than their parents. Be there for her but don't push her in any direction because that will just push her away. Hopefully they will break up again and she will learn from this what kind of boy to look out for. That's kind of what being a teenager is - pretending to be an adult with a safety net so you can learn and not epically screw up your life when it actually counts. I don't mean this to sound harsh but I'm a lot closer to my teenage years than you and I dated A LOT of idiot boys and I was an idiot teenager myself. Just try to be there for her and keep her safe and not pregnant. I don't think any kid is a sociopath by any means - boys just take a lot longer than girls to develop any kind of empathy and many of them just follow their pants around and turn off their brain. Hopefully having her heart broken a second time will teach her to find the other kind of boy.

I am going on 4.5 years of living with a sociopath and it has been one hell of a ride. He left his wife and moved right into my house, and moved his two children in a few days later. His children were 16 and almost 11 at the time. The first night his kids were there he had to lay down with his 11 year old because that is the only way she could fall asleep. Needless to say, I fell victim to his lies and allowed him to convince me to move into his house because it was more affordable. Big mistake but hind sight is 20/20. Anyways, the behavior of him sleeping with his 11 year old was a bit disturbing to me, he continued sleeping with her until she fell asleep. On one occasion I opened her bedroom door up to find her legs wrapped around his body as though they were a couple. He did not like me calling him out on this behavior that still to this day I find disturbing so he reacted by going to the courts and getting a restraining order against me that was full of nothing but lies. Stupid me let him woo me over again. Unfortunately life only got worst with him. His daughter started reacting to our relationship in some odd ways. She started stealing not only my dirty underwear but my 2 daughters dirty underwear,one being 4 yrs old and the other being 16. Somehow the sicko tried making us all believe we deserved this filthy behavior and that we had to have been molested to think there was anything wrong with her doings. In his words...his daughter is perfect and would never do such a thing. I let it go until 3 weeks later when I was putting her laundry in her room to find 86 more stolen items. Nothing was done about the thieving going on except my children and I being made to think we deserved it. She was praised and went to a friends house a few blocks away for a week...never a consequence for her. About 6 months later his daughter called the local police, where my sister happened to be the dispatcher, and claimed that her dad had been touching her and raping her since she was in diapers. That evening her mom was granted temporary custody and they fled to a safe house. He was not home at the time so I called him to find out why his ex was at the house and his daughter was hauling trash bags of clothes out..i was instantly blamed..what did i do? I knew i did nothing and I was onto his blame game. Needless to say he had his ways of tracking them down in the safe house and got through to his daughter telling her nothing she did was wrong and that he "needed" her. She was found to be lying yet he continuously praised her and told her how perfect she was. He has caused so much damage to his own child that she would sit in her room and cut herself and write down her suicidal thoughts. On numerous occasions I found satanic pictures drawn by her often reflecting her death wishes for me. It was then that i realized that this man cared about nobody but himself. I would have found professional help or found someone for my children to talk to...not him...he shipped her off to live with her mother after her mother was deemed too mentally challenged to have any type of visitation that wasn't supervised. His kid was nothing but an ob<x>ject to him...just no longer his welfare ticket (which he lied to get benefits that he should not have qualified for, he claims the government owes him for the 10 years he served in prison for attempted murder charges). Unfortunately this man has done nothing but set his own kids up for failure. The relationship we had was ba<x>sed on lies and more lies. It was a hard decision to make, his words were pretty convincing even though the big picture was there. He tried to get everyone around me to dislike me by telling lies about me. He had no luck as the people he was targeting were onto his ways. His last blow and the one that proved the depths he would go to try to gain any kind of control over me or try to make me feel so worthless was him hiring my ex and trying to throw my past in my face...not sure if he thought he was accomplishing anything other than me realizing how deep the issues are. I am thankful I never let him beat me down to the point that I let him have control. He knows we are through yet all he can say is "well i love you unconditionally"...sociopaths don't love...I've been loved before and this nightmare was anything but love. Run away as fast as you can if you cross paths with an individual like this and don't let them think they won. It's quite humorous when they realize u quit their game

That is the most disturbing story I've heard. How disgusting and repulsive. Hell is real and that monster of pig is heading there for some good old fashioned torture.

This guy is not a sociopath, he is a ********* which is a type of paraphilia. You should have called the police or tried to talk to his daughter when you noticed the inappropriate behavior. I know that is harsh, but often kids continue to be raped and molested because the adults in their life look the other way and don't take action.

His lies and manipulation are due to his paraphilia. He needs a woman in his life to appear like he has a normal relationship so that his sexual perversions are less likely to come up or come into question. Plus having a woman in his life makes it easier for him to have custody of children, giving him easier access to hurt them. In his sick mind he believes he really does love and care about the child he is molesting. He knows that it is wrong most likely but feels like he "can't control himself."

All this guy cares about his is sick perversions - it is like an addiction to him. You see sociopathic behavior like this in drug and alcohol addicts as well. It is all about feeding the addiction but he is likely not a sociopath. Stay away from this guy and do what you can to help his kids.... the writing you found in her room and the fact that she was stealing undergarments are a cry for help. IMHO she is not lying about her dad raping her since she was a baby but is scared to stand up to him because it is probably all she has ever known. He probably shipped her off because she was too close to cracking and spilling his dirty secret. I know you felt hurt by her but honestly I feel terrible for her since she has obviously been the most hurt by her own father.

hopefully you can figure out what i called that guy by the rest of my post - i didn't curse i just typed out the word for someone who hurts children in a sexual way and it censored it.

Could a sociopath hold more value on a person for having a son? Or is the initial novelty and attention that comes with a new baby what's most appealing and when the time for actually taking care of the baby comes will they run?

I am also a sociopath. I have learned to fake emotions like yourself, but unlike you avoid people. The only true emotion I feel is pure hatred. I try to adapt to society, but can't grasp why people act the way they do. While I know how to fake the more simplistic emotions (happiness, sadness, anger, etc.) I have no idea how to fake the more complex (love, grief, sympathy,etc.). I am very charismatic, and have been diagnosed a sociopath, but am unable to truly fit into society. While I have no real desire to fit into society today, my life will be easier if I did "fit in". Any suggestions?

I'd also like to edit, the average sociopath is not a serial killer. Most killers are psychopaths as they are more impulsive than sociopaths. If most sociopaths were killers, then many more people would be serial killers. The average sociopath is hiding, not a killer.

I'm diagnosed above average so here's my take. It's who you are. Accept it and enjoy the ride. Keep winning the game and enjoying the rewards.

I think I might be best friends with a sociopath. Ive known him for about 4 years. We are 16 years old and he hasnt been diagnosed but ive done quite alot of research and all the signs point to him being sociopathic including very high charisma, he is basically the most popular kid in our age group and everyone follows him around. Hes never sorry when he hurts someone including me. He never takes responsabilty for his actions. When I argue with him for something he clearly did he uses pure logic to get out of it even though he clearly is the one responsable. He says im his best friend and all and I think hes mine to but ever since we became close friends the relationship has felt hallow. He is always lying and overexagerating stories and I will believe him because hes so good at lying but then he will just say a few minutes later that it wasnt true and he doesnt know why he lied. He does this alot. He thinks he is smarter then everyone. He rarely does anything for me out of the kindness of his heart but I do alot. Is this how sociopaths are? Should I confront him or ask some of mine and his friends to try and get him help? Should I stay friends with him? Can he get better through treatment if he does get help?

I hate to break it to you dude but therapy or other types of help will not assist him if he is truly a sociopath. There is no way that science has come up with to help sociopaths "grow" empathy. There are no effective treatments known at this time. It is your choice to stay friends with him or not, but he won't "get better," that simply doesn't happen for people with personality disorders. I would suggest doing more research on the subject. Either way he cannot be legally diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder (the real name given by the DSM for sociopathy) until he is 18. If I were you, I would stay on my guard around him. If it becomes obvious that he is emotionally draining you and it becomes a threat to your personal well-being, if only emotionally or mentally, then you will need to slowly distance yourself from him - it is much harder to suddenly cut off a relationship with a sociopath than it is to slowly creep away from them. This will give him time to find a new person to use. Again this is up to you, but stay on your guard. He may never use you in this way but then again he may decide to suddenly do so.

Good luck.

<p>He always said don't hurt me. After years of horrid emotional abuse and promises of a good life, I exposed him. I'm sure he hates me now. With nowhere to go he finaly checked himself into Rehab.</p>What will happen next?

There is no cure for being a sociopath. It is considered a mental disorder, but has no cure, no fix. Likely the emotions will continue to be faked, more efficiency. I know from experience, but rehab won't help. It is who he his, and by trying to literally change something that is unchangeable will just make things worse.
-Patrick

I need help protecting myself from a sociopath who is a regular at the bar I work at. I was seeing him for about two months and started to see warning signs. I was with a sociopath for five years. I am a little in fear and I don't want to loose my job. Because I have been through this before I already know people are going to have trouble believing me.

So what you're saying is... at best my boyfriend who demands he loves me could just feel an attachment towards me?

Also... how do I leave him?

I dont expect easy... I just want to be safe.

What happens if you try to break up with a sociopath ? He knows I am unhappy and I've caught him cheating and is constantly telling me I'm the crazy one . Every time I try to break up , it's more I love yous . If he wants to cheat why does he have to be in a relationship? And why does the charm go back to the way it was in the beginning , also the sex was great and now it's like I have to beg for it. I just don't get it, please help.

What would you do to hurt a narcissist when the narcissist tried to claim all the pride from the jobs that you've done?
Or, what would you do to counter against another sociopath?

I have not been diagnosed with any mental abnormality of any kind, granted I have never talked to a talked to a doctor. Starting early during infancy, I was intrigued in causing pain. I started torturing my toys at the age of 3-4. I got great pleasure out of it, for awhile. I got bored with it as I aged. By the time I was around five, my mother bought a cat that was pregnant at the time. The cat had a litter of kittens and lets just say I wasn't bored for awhile. My mother found out what I was doing with the kittens so she ended up giving them away instead of seeking them, I was left bored again. I starts moving on to my brother and mother. My father was not in the picture because he was a con-artist, and was in and out of prison and had numerous ex wives and many kids to take care of. I've never seen him. Anyways as I moved on to my brother, I began testing him and trying to figure out my limitations and what exactly I could do and try to constantly push the limits emotionally. Shortly after I started, a close relative of mine died, my mother and brother were mourning the death of him. While I was looking at them trying to understand what was going on. Granted I was about 8 years of age, I joined in with them, tried to copy my brother. I slowly got good at showing the emotion I had practiced that now I can cry on the spot. I have had 4 relationships, all of which ended but I still have control of them. They all think I love them and I tell them exactly what they need to hear to keep them around. I have 7 different families who all consider me family and would do what ever I want them to do at the drop of a hat. Although I fantasize about killing people, it would be inconvenient to be locked up in prison where I had no control over my things. I don't care to much about being diagnosed, I'm simply curious as to what you think about my life.

I recently learned someone at the office is a sociopath. Where do I go from here?

Do I confront and set boundaries around our interactions?
Do I avoid/play along in an emotionally diffusing way?
Should I pretend I don't know? Is it better if they know I know or worse?
Also, do sociopaths see people in varying degrees of likeability or is every person weighted/treated the same?

Just wondering how you learned that they were a sociopath? It seems to be a label tossed around freely and inaccurately.

Someone they hurt and got away researched what happened for weeks. I've seen and heard about their experiences, coupled with my own experiences, and that of one other person, plus general observations of behavioural patterns, I see on a daily basis.

hello, i have sent you a message, please respond

My mom, some of my friends, my dad, my housemates, my ex-boyfriends all told me I had sociopathic tendencies. I admit that I lie, a lot. Mostly to get out of trouble or make myself look better than I am. I have manipulated so many people to get what I want, but then who hasn't. I have broken men down. I sometimes act selfishly. When I say I'm sorry, I mean it. I would never use the word lightly. I know when I should and shouldn't feel sorry. Yet, I get screamed at because, "you're not sorry at all! You're a lying little ****." When my dad was ill I was by his side every day. When he died I didn't cry. I handled everyone that day he died, and watched them cry and smash things, and storm out the house. And then I got told off because "you don't care." I went upstairs, I saw my dad in my mind, and I cried and cried. And I wake up every morning saying I miss him. And when I need to talk about it all, everyone bottles it up, so I can't let my emotions out. My mom thinks that I don't really love her. I never hugged her as a child. I never talked to her as a child. And growing up I was difficult. My dad wold ask me why I never hugged mom. In my memories I remember mostly talking to my mom. I remember hugging her when she put plasters on my knees because I fell off my bike, and how I used to tell her I loved her. My friends talk at Uni talk about me behind my back and say I'm a manipulator, and a loner. I admit I don't love for the right reasons. I want to be in love with someone I can fix, because I can't fix myself, and no body will help me. It's selfish of me, but also selfless of me. I feel love. I feel regret. I feel anger, sadness, happiness sometimes, and I feel jealous just like any body. I have tried to kill myself 3 times now. I am obviously not that good at it, and I obviously don't want to do it, because I'd have been dead by now. Every time I was saved, I'd say, "I don't really want to die. I couldn't let that destroy my mother and the rest of my family." Even though I think it's selfish that they'll act badly if I do kill myself, I also know it's selfish to relieve myself from the world.
In all honesty, the term hurts. I am with a sociopath who truly understands me, yet I know he exploits my weaknesses. I can read him like a book, and he knows it. He's become nervous of me. Tries to tell me I am the sociopath, not him, when confronted on his personality flaws.
I am a desperate, suicidal girl. I am 20, and I have felt this way since I was about 10. My family, my friends and others have all turned their backs on me because I have no "love" or "compassion". I can't help but feel I need to help children who are ill. When I see them in hospital, it breaks my heart that some have no hope.
Yet this is all an act apparently. Is everyone around me trying to make me kill myself? Are some of my family sociopaths? Or are they all just ignorant because they'd rather it be a disorder, than just because I am genuinely unhappy in this world? Because no parent, no friend, no co-worker wants to see that truth. That for some, living is not an option.
I truly respect sociopaths. I love my boyfriend. He makes me unhappy, but I love him. At least with him, there is no feeing. And I wish that I didn't have to feel. I wish I didn't have to be hurt by the people I love. I wish everyone was right about me.

No. I said I didn't feel I had sociopathic tendencies. That is what everyone tells me I am. I am completely the opposite. Yes, I have flaws just like all humans :) I just have a hard time in my own head, but I certainly feel. If it were a diagnosis, I'd believe it.
I have no support. Not because people don't care. Because they are afraid of me. And some they are just too busy in their world. And that's not a bad thing.
I seem intelligent only because I have been taught how to seem intelligent by others. Not because I actually am. I'm incredibly irrational.

>>>"When I say I'm sorry, I mean it. I would never use the word lightly." --- You have Borderine Personality Disorder written all over you. Your parents, housemates and whoever else are simply ignorant if you're telling the truth in this post. Manipulative but you feel REMORSE - BPD. Not to mention, everything else you said screamed out BPD.

Hi Amanda, I joined the group specifically so I could respond to you. You are NOT a sociopath. You do not suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder. If had HAD to give a label for this situation I would say you might be co-dependant. I believe from what you have written that you are being abused by your family. You might even be the family scapegoat. I'm sorry these people are making you doubt yourself. That alone is evidence that you are not what they accuse you of being. Research co-dependency, it may help. If anyone in your family drinks too much, try attending Alanon Family Groups. It might help. Best of luck <3

TO ANYBODY WHO IS LEGITIMATELY SEEKING HELP:
THIS IS NOT A HEALTHY SPACE. FOR YOUR OWN SAKE, PLEASE TALK TO A PROFESSIONAL OR SOMEBODY YOU TRUST IN REAL LIFE INSTEAD OF USING THIS THREAD.

Mental issues are tricky things to deal with. They are by no means insurmountable, but if you’re going to try to tackle one head on, you’re going to need support and empathy and and compassion from the people around you, and you’re going to want to get help from somebody who knows the condition inside and out—and I’m sad to say that, apart from a few exceptions, that’s not what you’re going to get on this thread. No--if you come here looking for support, you will almost certainly not receive the advice and understanding you need; just a lot of recrimination and hot air.

When push comes to shove, the truth is that most people—myself very much included—don’t really know what they’re talking about when it comes to mental health. If you need advice, it’s better to talk to a licensed physician with years worth of study under their belt than to some guy who gets all his knowledge about psychology from Law and Order—and if you need support, it’s better to talk to somebody whom you trust and who cares about you than to some random guy on a message board.

Good luck—and take care.

Not all sociopaths are sociopaths, per se, lol. There is such a thing as sociopathic tendencies, and there certainly is such a thing as a sociopath with narcissism, with or without varying degrees of tendencies of either.

Incidentally, not all sociopaths victimize innocent people. There are some that only hunt other sociopaths - more points. Sociopaths who prey on the innocent are not challenging themselves enough.

Challenge accepted!

A boy who is in my class, and an admitted sociopath, told me "I see you as something important." I am admittedly upbeat and empathetic, but I don't know what he meant.

if he really is a sociopath, i suggest you should pay more attention to this keyword: "something", not "someone". and now you know what he meant.

i'm not old, kinda young
14 almost 15
and i do think that i am a sociopath
i don't give a **** what people think about me, or how i act, or what i look like
and same, if someone handed me a knife, and told me i wouldn't get caught murdering, there are more than a handful that i would
i don't know what other people do normally, but i need to be entertained, or "something that's my fault" happens
i manipulate those around me and i don't care that i do
because if you really need to know something, don't ask me.
if you really think, people that don't believe me, that this isn't a real thing, or that people are just making it up for fun, i can gaurantee that that's not the case
there are people that make this up, but i'm not one of them

i am 16 and i think i am a sociopath i have all the traits as some would say.<br />
were do i go to get help for this.

It's been a few years since your post. Are you still responding?

You are awesome

You're NOT a sociopath. You're the third person I've seen on the internet that thinks they're a sociopath. It makes you feel cool and special doesn't it? Everybody wants to kill someone they hate. Everyone wants to get revenge on an ex. The fact that you didn't physically hurt anyone plus the fact that you're spending time on the internet saying you're a sociopath proves that you're not one. Don't fear though, because revenge-seeking and attention-seeking people such as yourself fit the diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or narcissist. You may be similar to a sociopath but you're definitely not a real one. If you were a sociopath you would be plotting against a victim not writing about yourself on the internet like a narcissist. "(Normal people call it Motive i believe)" lol you obviously have a low IQ if you think a sociopath would take pride in being a sociopath. Oh and one more thing, learn proper grammar if you're going to write for the public. Anyone with just a little bit of intelligence is laughing at your posts. Get a life loser. It looks like some people actually believe you're a maniacal abuser, oh my goodness I can't believe how stupid some people really are.

Let's go over some things together, shall we?

You: Sociopaths always physically hurt someone and lack self control( I add this because judging by your writing that's what you're heading).
Truth: Only marginally correct. The lower functioning sociopaths tend to get caught and put into prisons and it can also be confirmed that majority of inmates are sociopaths or psychopaths (They are actually the violent ones fyi).
You: Sociopaths do not gloat about their triumphs or write about their goals.
Truth: This is completely false. In fact, most Sociopaths enjoy talking about their past and hold a high regard to their ability to manipulate others to get what they want. Narcissism and Sociopathy share that common trait, the only difference is a narcissist won't try to really **** with you unless you do something to mess with their "image" A Sociopath will do it just out of boredom.
You: Sociopaths obsess over plotting.
Truth:....OK....you got that one pretty good. But we don't let it consume us. I'll also add this here because I can. Sociopaths tend to actually have a higher than average IQ but as with any statistic there are variations and outliers that must be considered.
The rest of your post isn't my concern. No matter how many books you read, you'll never understand Sociopathic behavior. Only what some ******* watching prisoners was able to figure out.

I think u r not getting the point here this is someone who is simply describing what a socipath is but spiffed it up and made it into first person form..im sure this person who wrote this knows that a real sociopath doesnt acknowledge themselves as such and thinks this way at all. It think this person made it in a humorous way how if a socipath could see things maybe its this way..but we know its not.come on we all r not this stupid..give the guy some credit ..bravo on the description of a socipath!!

I had a child with a sociopath. He managed to get custody. I've been off/on with him for months. I want to get him back to how he would pursue me. My motive is to get my son, by any means (legally) necessary. How do I get him to want me again? I am beautiful, smart, and funny. We were together 5 years. I don't love him anymore and he can't hurt me anymore. I've managed to become a robot when I'm with him to make him believe I still love him, but he is wishy-washy.

You dumbass that person isn't a sociopath! You're beautiful, smart, and funny? That's up to other people to decide, not you. The fact that you say you're those three things tells me you're most likely ugly, ignorant, and just plain stupid. Nobody cares about you or your ******* problems! Get the **** out of here!

I'm sorry my post for help somehow offended you. I know these things about myself because of observations of others. People that have these qualities know it. Trust me. But since you clearly don't have advice for me, please proceed trolling the internet for other help sites that you can criticize the victim. Idiot.

I created this account to say that you're very ignorant and should feel ashamed. :/

Hi, I've always tried to figure my boyfriend out, he acts like a sociopath, I fell in love with him deeply, and him with me, I think!! I left him cos he was always running me down, and at first i was strong, he wanted me back so I went back, as time went on, I left him few more times, for other reasons, he always blames me,and now he is not bothered about having me back, he said cos i left him to many times, and its very easy for him to just cut of, If I give him what he wants he'll have me back, but its so wrong, he wants me to give up my son. Im so hurt cos I thought he loved me, and now he's moving on and he's fine, he has hurt me a lot now by calling me a **** for moving in to early and other stuff, but he was soo loving before. I know he is probally not right for me cos he abuses me emotionally, he's nice to me when he's getting what he wants. Im just finding it really hard to get over him. would he ever consider going out with me again in the future, eventhough he said he never goes back! he says a lot of things but then does what he wants!!! he's very manipulative he broke my relationship with my parents and told me if i left him i would lose everything he got rid of all my stuff but told me he still loved me and blamed me for it, im still scared that he follows through with things he threatened me with... I really hate him for hurting me and want to hurt him back, but know that if he would hurt me back again worse. Its horrible actually knowing that he doesn't really care about me even though he's taking me round shops showing me the ring he wanted to buy me, all the things he did for me and told me how much he loved me... he was soo horrible to my son though he would call him names cos his father is from morroco so he would call him a half breed, and last time I left I did it for my son cos he was hurting him, I was so torn cos I left and still loved him. I miss him so much, and wonder if he misses me!! and would ever take me back!! thanks in advance!

Oh boo hoo hoo, I'm bursting into tears at your story -_- Nobody cares about anyone honey the only person that really cares about you is you. Everyone has the same problem. You're NOT special.

This is a very unhealthy relationship for you. You know this in your heart, but you are too deeply in love to be able to act upon it. I think the best thing for you right now is to talk to a grief counselor. You need to move on as if this guy died, and you could never see him again. He does not care about you at all. From what you say it sounds like he is a pathological liar as well. I wouldn't advise that you believe anything he says, whether it is negative or positive. He's probably looking for a new victim right now. Moving on from him might be the hardest thing for you to do, but a grief counselor can help you do this. Do whatever it takes to move forward and not look back.

Out of curiosity.............why would you a sociopath want people who are not to know how you or other sociopaths think or behave?

Because he's not a sociopath, he's a wannabe. There are others on the internet just like him.

After loosing everything.. Almost my two boys as well because of being with my ex who I'm certain she is a Sociopath.My sons and I are in counseling 2 days a week and I am aware know I am codependent.. Or to her a perfect target. Right?Of course reading about any mental illness more often they are directed toward men it seems. But when it comes to the female sociopath, I can't find the answers I'm looking for. One is: Many postings say they are sexual. She hated sex, being touched or reciprocating emotions. She constantly had female issues that prevented any intimacy. Once she said that whenever I tried to be intimate with her she felt like I was raping or violating her. In which, I was devastated by her comments. So I didn't touch her unless she instigated it. Then it was, I didn't love her or I was cheating and so on. Is this sociopath behavior?

hi, my gay best friend drunkenly 'confessed' to me that he thinks he's a sociopath. He says he feels no empathy, always moodless, and has learned how to act socially from observing other people. He knows he has no reason to feel superior but still does, and knows he's a horrible person but can't care about it. He told me that this is the most real I have ever seen him and everything about him is fake. He is my best friend, I have a connection with him unlike any other, we activate something in each other that cannot be activated by anyone else. I don't care about the sociopathic behaviour, I've always know not to go to him when I'm down, and I accept that he does his own thing but I don't really care because the time we spend together is fun and I have other people in my life to cater for my other needs, FUN is what I get from him. However I'm questioning our friendship as a whole, when we're having fun is he actually having fun or is all the banter we have going on fake? It's always us to over everybody else, we have our private jokes no one else gets, and everyone sees we have a close (supposedly close) friendship. Thing is, the same night we had this talk he really wanted to see his boyfriend and couldn't articulate why, to a ridiculous degree, but commented when I pointed out this fact that he would be feeling more strongly about it if he was a 'normal person'. He also said he has felt down before after a family tragedy but that how he felt after a very close family member died was comparative to not receiving any presents on christmas day. I'm not doubting him, though I'm finding it hard to deal with, but are there levels of sociopathy? Is all the banter we have fake? Is he labelling himself too soon? Is it depression? He also commented that he couldn't have unattractive friends. Sociopathy or just a rich kid with a lack of relative and perspective? I'm not sure what to do.

I'm going through the same thing right now. We meet for breakfast and dinner once a week, and we laugh at a lot of stuff. We are almost like two of a kind when we are together. However, I know he does not have any capacity to care about anyone, and he has no conscience. As much as I like hanging with him, I question whether this is a healthy friendship. I don't know why he keeps inviting me to eat with him, since we are complete opposites emotionally. I often listen to him complain about somebody else, when he is guilty himself of what he complains about. One side of me wants to keep hanging with him. The other side tells me to stay away from him. I'm not sure what to do either.

How do I make the sociopath suffer? How do I make him feel the violation and shame that he has made me feel?

I don't think you can ever cause him to feel shame and you definitely will never make him feel remorse. From what I read the absolute worst thing you can do to him or her is make it known that you know what he/she really is. They don't like being found out but you have to be prepared to go through hell because they will get very nasty. Depending on the particular sociopath, it may even be extremely dangerous. The best thing you can do is not have any contact with him at all. As long as you continue speaking to him or her, you are giving her your power. You will, therefore continue to feel violated ans ashamed. I know, because I hadn't seen my ex in months and as soon as I gave in and saw him, all the progress I had made went right out the window and all over again, I felt like I lost all my power. It IS a horribly violating feeling. Ever since I saw him that day and he kissed me, I have been disgusted with myself and can't stand being touched by anyone.

I don't think you understand. My life, lives of my family, and our safety has already been threatened, and he may kill me. I have already established no contact. Things have already gotten very ugly an he has violated me in every way shape and form. I a forever damaged....untouchable, I have jabbed him in every way I know. I have not only called him what he refuses to allow someone to call him, but I have explained why those names are true. I ******** him of his power over me and manhood all in one swipe. I'm not done. I want to make him suffer. I want to **** him off every day. I want him to be the source of his suffering. I want his anguish to be painstakingly slow. What will hurt him? Me exposing him? Me messing with his life? What types of things do sociopaths value? How do I destroy him?

*str ipped him
*pi ssed

***pi ss not pi ssed

Maybe that's all I need to do, take away his power over me. I have already hurt him in ways most people can not by hitting him where it hurts. I have stri oped him of his manhood. I have taken what he asked me to never take away, away from him. He wants to destroy me. Is being successful and acting like I don't care really that much of a blow to his ego? Does he want to engage in combat w me? Does he see himself as a driving force in my life? I want him destitute. What if I pity him? How does that change the game?

I agree with Arguendo it sounds like you're the sociopath here, not him.

You sound like a sociopath to me

Rape him. Kill him. How would you violate or shame Ted Bundy? ARealSociopath is obviously not even a sociopath dumbass. I bet if I told everyone that responded to this moron that "by drinking poisoned cool aid they would go to heaven" they would do it. Rob Zombie was right, some people such as yourself are idiots.

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So my ex is a sociopath or maybe psychopath, I'm not sure about all the differences but anyway, when I met him, I didn't love him. I don't fall in love easily and even though he IMMEDIATELY started love bombing me, it did not make me love him. It actually freaked me out and made me want to distance myself, but he went on to pursue me for close to two years continually love bombing me and idealizing me till I finally did fall in love with him, then he preceded with all of the typical steps that follow the love bombing stage and basically completely and utterly destroyed every aspect of my life but my question is, why would he pursue me for so long? I was a strong, independent, confident woman and there would have been thousands of easier targets to prey on. Why would he fixate on me? Why did the idealization phase last so much longer than normal?

You were a challenge. You. Added spice to the game. Destroying you was more satisfying.

I can't stand to be touched either. I feel like he was raping me every time we had sex.

I feel like every time he touched me, every time he spoke to me, and every moment we existed together was nothing more than him violating me, raping my soul, my body. I feel like he found a way to rape me down to my veins. I lost my friends, my family, my job, my health, and my sanity because of all the ways he violated and victimized me. You are not alone.

Well you let him do it you dumbass. I'm sick and tired of hearing girls complain about a bad ex when the whole time they let him treat them like crap. If you allowed him to disrespect you in a relationship then he will lose respect for you. He's not a sociopath, you're just an insecure and desperate girl :) Now go cut yourself in the bathroom LOL

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so here goes, I want as truthful an answer as possible, please. My ex-husband is a sociopath, he doesn't see it but it blantantly obvious. He claims he has "feelings" for me, as he so eloquently puts it, becuase we met under different circumstances and I am much different than any other woman he has ever come into contact with. He says that women fall into two categories in life....the ***** to the highest bidder - who doesn't care who knows that she is in it for the money, and the ***** that screws around and claims that she has "feelings" or "loves" the guy, even if she just met him that night.

Me, he says he has feelings for because we talked on the phone for 2 months and NEVER once discussed sex or anything of the sort. If we had, I would have never talked to him again. We talked about things that we both enjoy, hot rods, working on cars, going fast, my kids, life in general.

My main question is this....is he just bullshitting me?

Yes, he hates women and perceives you as manipulative. He is waiting to find out which category you fall in.

No, he's just another guy that doesn't get girls. Most of my friends say the same things he does. You don't need to worry about him being a sociopath, but you may need to worry about your standards for men... just saying

A sociopath acting as spiritual counselor and therapist for many has been exposed. He's been at if for decades and gets run out of town. Now he's in our town and we want him out. We have lots of accurate and damaging information about him. We've exposed him to the health professionals and to friends. But he's still practicing therapy and he's so good at it (I went for 2 years) that some who even know will still see him. We are about to tell him he can stay if he stops practicing. How can we force him to leave? How can we find out where his next town is so we can inform community leaders there? What will break him? He's seems impervious. Shows no true signs of making amends. ThankYou for your courage and your making of amends in this way. All Best to You.

You say he is good at his job so what is the problem. This sounds like a form of discrimination to me, replace the word sociopath in your sentence with black and see how it reads.

I agree with you; people on here think every person that doesn't care about them is a sociopath. No one on here has seen the Halloween, Saw, or Scream movies. Micheal Myers would be a real sociopath, the people being described here are just average Joes that hate their life.

The grammar really needs work. It also makes me think more narcissistic than intelligent.

I've been in a torturous relationship for almost 3 years and I think I've figured out the reason. I believe he's a sociopath. He lies, cheats without using protection, gave one girl a shirt I always slept in, while still claiming his love for me. He shows no remorse at all for anything he does wrong. I witnessed him screaming at his brother for cheating on his wife while cheating and lying to me. Now he's left me in Florida while he's in ohio working, and he shows no emotion about leaving me to deal with a lot of hardships with my 3 kids. He is very cold about my insecurity, very disconnected about the worries of having to move and finances, has been gone for over a month, and gets angry when I need reassurance. He's spent money on his phone, his gym membership, and who knows what els, while I'm worried about paying bills and rent so I'm not kicked out of this house with 3 kids too. He is very attached to a little girl he was a part of for 5 years but now has no contact with since the breakup with her mom 3 years ago, but that's the only things he's ever shown attachment to. What do I need to do to end my suffering and get away? He doesn't take my "no" for an answer, and uses my love for him as a tool to get what he wants. I have read numerous messages from him to other girls, even his ex, about his undying love and affection for them, while in my bed an arms telling me the same. HELP ME

Hi, you sound exactly like me, I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years, only the last couple of months I have started to figure him out, I think he is a sociopath . Since the day i got with him, he has lied , he lies about every single thing, before me he was with a women for 20years and had 5 kids with her, he has cheated on me with her several times, everytime I caught him in a lie and throw him out, he goes back to her. when i have broke up with him, he makes my life hell, verbally abusing my friends, harrasing me, he has never hit me but gets so angry when I kick him out , its like he wants to hurt me for hurting him.he lies non stop, gambles, has severe paranoia, constantly thinks im cheating on him, im trying to figure out if he has feelings for his ex or that he is just really sick, he only goes to her when I've had enough , but I always forgive him, he leads his ex on he wont let go, she abuses me with messages after messages. He has very low selfesteem but a huge ego, ive slowly stopped going out socially with him with other people, he gets to paranoid and im in constant fear of worrying what he will do. I love him so much but cant put up with this for much longer, he wont get help he wont admit anything, I know he doesnt mean to do the things he does,I've had enough and dont know what to do only to get out I think which he wont make easy

No no no if anything YOU'RE the sociopath for kicking him. If he's paranoid about you and has a huge ego that probably means he's a narcissist. I hate to break this to you, but the only way to deal with a narcissist is to stay away from them. I'm not a psychologist so you might want to look up cures for narcissism or consult a professional to get a more secure diagnosis for him. Best of luck to you.

That's so interesting that he would yell at his brother for it while he was also doing it. My ex was that way with abuse, he was always trying to save the damsel in distress and get girls away from their abusive boyfriends all the while abusing me...

Yep, ditto

y the way, if he's cheating on you, why are you still with him? Obviously you're very attached to him, but I'm afraid it's time to say good bye. Unless of course you can handle this kind of suffering. All the best to you lass!

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I'm sorry to tell you but, your not a sociopath. As a diagnosed above average sociopath, ( by several doctors, I don't believe I am) here's my input.
I have also been successful in my life. I had and still have most of the "normal" things . I left it because I got bored and wouldn't lose anything I still have use for.
I didn't "learn" things. I react to situations, and play the game based on the way I want it to go so it continues or ends.
I don't want to kill anyone, and I don't consider myself violent, If I think I may have a use for someone, why would I want them dead? If I don't why bother with them?

How do you know you are a sociopath? Is this a self-diagnosis or did someone with some expertise tell you that you were?

I just find it very hard to believe that there are 984 people on experience project who are really sociopaths. How did you arrive at that conclusion?

For real man they're annoying the **** out of me as well!

To gravesasha: No he doesn't love you. He can't feel love and neither can I. Additionally, stop focusing on love. Read what you just wrote. Would you want your mom or closest friends to be with a guy that abuses them physically and mentally? You're with him because your self esteem is as low as your intelligence. Getting away from him is very easy. Break up, delete and block his number, don't contact him, etc. If he starts following you and ****, threaten to call the police. Don't try and get in mind games with him because he'll win every time. And just to reiterate, even if he could love, is how he treats you a way someone would really show love? A huge, resounding, no.

I have been in a very serious relationship with a supposed sociopath. We started dating summer of 2010, we broke up for about 9 months and got back together. We have a 7 month old daughter together now.
He has cheated in the past, I've caught him every time which is why we broke up. This time around, he does lie about stupid little irrelevant things but nothing that has me thinking he cheats or is trying to see anyone else. So far, he has been faithful and I always catch him lying (most of the time). I go through his phone, And Facebook once in a whole just to make sure and there hasn't been one thing I find suspicious. I know where he goes and his stories add up if I do question him.

My question to you is,
Could it be possible that because we've been together so long that he has kind of adapted to the committed life ?
Could he really be being faithful to me now ?

I ask because, every once in a while I think it may be too good to be true that he actually does respect me enough to stay faithful to me.
One thing we do argue about is his **** usage. He watches **** almost everyday, few times a day even at work... I've even caught him before and I get upset because I get offended that he won't have sex with me instead. In my opinion he is addicted to it and we often argue about that but not any cheating problems anymore. So far at least !

But could it be possible that he is changing his ways slowly, due to his life as a long term boyfriend and father?

You're the 1,000th girl on here that thinks she's with a sociopath. Men suck, if you don't like them date women. Damn.

You're not wrong. Most people are too wrapped up in the ego, they have a sense of specialness that tells them everyone who hurts them must be a monster. The idea that they just aren't interesting enough to stick around for is too much for their little rabbit hearts to handle.

Another insecure projection, this one filtered through an unbearably lazy mind.

Moving on.

Naw dude, you are not a sociopath. If you were one, then you would try to befriend the guy everyone hates in your office and take advantage. I think pretty much everyone who once reads the defination of a sociopath starts to relate with it and thinks he is one once they see the advantages with it.You have just read those things about sociopaths that they see everyone like robots in the internet and trying to fool yourself that you are also one. Its just human nature and you are as far from being a sociopath as one could be.

Being a sociopath is about having a low sense of emotional awareness. A person can be anti-social in many different ways. Being smart in an informational manner is not a defining mark of a sociopath. Just drive by your nearest government-funded housing projects to see what sociopaths with low informational-IQ are like. Shootings and Stabbings everyday.

Thank you sir, thank you :) People are so self-deceiving.

I need to figure out how to push the buttons of a sociopath I work with. This person and I are stuck with each other until one of us cries Uncle. And while that is totally going to be me, in the meantime I would like to have my own fun with her. Ive already exposed her theft and lying, but she managed to deflect all blame. Now she is furious with me and tormenting me. How can I attempt to beat her at her own game? Thanks for taking the time to read this.

If you leave your wallet unattended in a public area, most people would steal it. Just because she lies and steals doesn't mean she's a sociopath, it just means she's your average *******.

*butt hole

You can't. You're missing the point. They don't care. You're poking a bear. The bear does not care about you, and the stick does not hurt, you will not hurt the bear, but you must remember that the only thing stopping the bear from eating your face is time. My advice: run, hide, submit. Accept that you're too vulnerable to do anything other than play dead and hope that the bear goes away. Then go lick your wounds.

please...I am very close to a sociopath. I want nothing more than to help him get the ;ife he wants. He is textbook as far a s I can see.
Does he even realize whats happening to him? He tells me there is nothing wrong with him.

Run! dont try to help him, he will take advantage of you, lie to you and distroy you mentally.he uses the empathy card on you to get into your head. he doesnt need help, he thinks humans are stupid and sees you as an object. dont fall for that.

Apparently my dad has told me that being a sociopath, isn't something that ur born with, its a learned behavior/defense mechanism. (tho I cant say I totally believe because I don't blame everything on the environment.) But he said that sociopathic behavior comes from the way u were raised the first 5 years of your life. if u were taught that ur worth wasn't very important, (such as being neglected, or abused) then u would live ur life, thinking only about yourself and ur needs.(because through demonstration, u weren't taught that caring about other ppl is important, you look out for yourself and your needs.)

It could also happen the opposite way, he said. If parents were co-dependent and gave u everything u wanted and spoiled you, you could grow up a narcissist and believe that you had to get everything u wanted

Apparently these learned behaviors are very difficult to change once already done. (just look at feral children and other children who haven't been "socialized" right. Not to say that children like these are all sociopaths.) But still this something very interesting I thought i'd share. I don't know if it could help, you, but here's the "science" behind it.

I was just thinking that only narcissists are created through either a troubled upbringing or a pampered. Perhaps you're right, it would make more sense. It is very important for people to know the supposed difference between a narcissist, psychopath, and a sociopath. A narcissist only hurts people that are a threat to them and use people as objects of gratification, a psychopath is someone born without emotions due to an impaired amygdala (an orb of the brain). A sociopath is someone that hurts others because they get some sick pleasure out of watching people suffer. They hate everyone and hate no one. They can't be bought with things like money, they are purely evil people that want to watch the world burn so to speak.

Why are you such a douche. Is it natural or do you have to constantly practice it. Ask me a question. No thanks Oprah I can ask google a question and actually get a good response. Hahah what a joke

google doesn't have the mind of a sociopath. All we can do is look at their actions and speculate. If you really want to know how a sociopaths brain works, you have to ask a sociopath.

I completely agree with you this guy is a complete douchebag lol.

question for you:
He started abusing me by sending anonymous texts.and on face was all'never met anyone like you'.I caught him red handed,he admitted to a few things but not to the really bad abuses.
He keeps coming back to me every few months with 'i need you'kinda lines.
why does he want to come back ,I dont understand,when i have made it very clear,I will not tolerate abuse.
Is there some way he will admit to everthing?.
how can I get him to repent for his bad behaviour?
thnks

Questions for you:
1. What legally viable career would you choose that would provide you with enough pleasure, excitement, money, and or status?
2. What hobbies or interests do you have outside of the realm of employment?
3. Do you imagine if you could unknowingly be manipulated by another sociopath?

1. Serial killer, executioner, cannibal, and any job that involves torturing people. Probably the closest legal job would be a cop.
2. Stalking victims, killing them, hiding their bodies, drinking, smoking, eating victims, trolling, beating people up.
3. They wouldn't care, they're too busy being manipulated by the media and salesmen.

Now who's the sensationalist?

A sociopath can not be changed to be a non-sociopath. Various ways to do so will backfire. You will be teaching how to refine and blend into society's norms. The ability to assimilate and mirror appropriate emotional responses enhances the ability to manipulate to further gains. A targeted person is an object for exploitation and nothing more. Sanity is not the issue. Knowing right from wrong equals sanity, this category of behavior is firmly sane. Leave quickly, have no further contact. Your heart will heal. Stay too long you will be permanently afflicted by your experience. By all means stay if you wish to lose all credibility, family, friends, employment, children, your natural trusting personality. Assuming you care about your future and those you love: read, listen, learn, and close your shocked gaping mouth once the truth of your reality sinks into the executive functions of your brain. I empathize deeply if you have unknowingly welcomed a charming worm into your most personal or professional life. I wish my advise could be warm and fuzzy. Start with Dr. Robert Hare's book. I respond from personal experiences. Thank you "arealsociopath" for opening this dialog.

I was rechecking my posts today. For some reason this one landed here. It was meant to answer some sobbing heart person confused about their relationship in a separate story. Oh, we'll...so it goes. Didn't mean to usurp your question &amp; answer feature.

Share with me different techniques for manipulation, or different faults most people have, and how to exploit them to get a desired reaction

Do you really want to know? I am afraid you might be a bit disappointed.

sure

There is no technique persay. A sociopath generally is exceptionally observant. One can pick out certain key things about a person and instinctively know how to push the buttons. The more expirience you have the more suttle you will be thus more chances for a success. EverythIng is a weakness. If it can trigger an emotional response it is useable.

Awesome. Just keep thinking that.

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How can I get rid of you?

No, you're not a sociopath. A sociopath would never say "us" or "we" he would say "I" or "them", and there's not such a thing as "the typicall serial killer sociopath" a typicall sociopath has no need to kill , a real sociopath would think that is "stupid" to kill people if he can manipulate everyone around him, a real sociopath would never "hate the idiot in work" because of the simple fact that he feel superior enough to manipulate him a make him work on his side, and lastly, ¿why on earth would a sociopath have so many spell errors?
How do i know all this?: www.sociopathworld.com
There are actual sociopaths there.

Are lying serial cheaters considered sociopaths? My husband was always so good to me the whole 18 years we were together. However, I recently found out he has been a serial cheater and has lied all these years so I wouldn't find out. He never felt guilty or he would have confessed to me. He is very socialable and knows how to manipulate people. He basically can sell water to a well. However, he always likes helping his neighbors and friends and will usually do anything for anyone who ask so I don't understand if he is a socio or not.

I've been in a relationship with a man I believe is a sociopath. He pressured me into purchasing a house (he's a realtor) that we both now live in. He stopped working shortly after we moved in and now I pay all the bills. I'm assuming this was his plan all along. Any way he is very verbally abusive and I am afraid of him. Sine he doesn't react to things "normally" I don't know how he will react to anything. I'm trying to end the relationship and have managed to move into another bed room in the house. He did not take that well but i did it anyway. do you have any advice on how to get him to leave my home?

Yep, leave your home, stop paying the bills. He won't leave as long as you provide what he wants. That which people fail to understand, you are the means to an end, not the end. To people like us, you are no different than a tool, that is to be used and discarded when it is no longer usefull.

Do I continue to help bounty hunters find my ex so I'm not held responsible for the bail he skipped out on? He has already made threats to "come after me" if he finds I'm helping. He threatens to take my belongings and have me kicked out of my home with his lies. He haunts me.