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I Am A Sociopath. If You Have Questions. Now Is The Time.

I am not your typical sociopath. Serial killer, unable to make friends, etc.

I did have trouble making friends when I was young. But i soon learned what everyone was looking for.
I am able to fake emotions and actions I pick up from different people I knw.

Once I knew what worked with who, it was easy.

I tried to make friends with a guy I lost contact with so I would have enough brothers for my wedding.
I was with a girl for 2 years just so I could make her life miserable by getting her attached and than breaking up with her beacuse she made my life miserable.

During the start, I had no feelings about hurting other people's feeling.
I still don't, but I have learnt what hurts and what should not be done if you do not want to offend people.

I have learned to be a social charmeleon adapting to different people and at different working environments.

As sociopaths, we do feel regret and attachedment pretty much like you are attached to your car.
The key difference that seperates us is we see other humans much like you see objects so other humans are pretty much like robots to us.

I know I want to kill the idiot that everyone else in the office hates, but I also know that the risk of getting caught isn't worth it, that is why I don't do it.
If there was a god and he handed me a knife and told me I won't get caught I won't hesitate to slash his throat.
I want to rape every single hot girl I walk past, but again, the risk of getting caught.

I have grown and adapted into this society where I know I can't do anything as I please.
Everything I do has an objective (Normal people call it Motive i believe).

If you have a question for the typical "Adaptive, smart, able to climb high in the workplace" Sociopath.
Now is the time. Post it in the comments and I will try to answer them.

Learn how they work and how they think.
ARealSociopath ARealSociopath 22-25 111 Responses Jan 16, 2011

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I recently learned someone at the office is a sociopath. Where do I go from here?

Do I confront and set boundaries around our interactions?
Do I avoid/play along in an emotionally diffusing way?
Should I pretend I don't know? Is it better if they know I know or worse?
Also, do sociopaths see people in varying degrees of likeability or is every person weighted/treated the same?

hello, i have sent you a message, please respond

My mom, some of my friends, my dad, my housemates, my ex-boyfriends all told me I had sociopathic tendencies. I admit that I lie, a lot. Mostly to get out of trouble or make myself look better than I am. I have manipulated so many people to get what I want, but then who hasn't. I have broken men down. I sometimes act selfishly. When I say I'm sorry, I mean it. I would never use the word lightly. I know when I should and shouldn't feel sorry. Yet, I get screamed at because, "you're not sorry at all! You're a lying little ****." When my dad was ill I was by his side every day. When he died I didn't cry. I handled everyone that day he died, and watched them cry and smash things, and storm out the house. And then I got told off because "you don't care." I went upstairs, I saw my dad in my mind, and I cried and cried. And I wake up every morning saying I miss him. And when I need to talk about it all, everyone bottles it up, so I can't let my emotions out. My mom thinks that I don't really love her. I never hugged her as a child. I never talked to her as a child. And growing up I was difficult. My dad wold ask me why I never hugged mom. In my memories I remember mostly talking to my mom. I remember hugging her when she put plasters on my knees because I fell off my bike, and how I used to tell her I loved her. My friends talk at Uni talk about me behind my back and say I'm a manipulator, and a loner. I admit I don't love for the right reasons. I want to be in love with someone I can fix, because I can't fix myself, and no body will help me. It's selfish of me, but also selfless of me. I feel love. I feel regret. I feel anger, sadness, happiness sometimes, and I feel jealous just like any body. I have tried to kill myself 3 times now. I am obviously not that good at it, and I obviously don't want to do it, because I'd have been dead by now. Every time I was saved, I'd say, "I don't really want to die. I couldn't let that destroy my mother and the rest of my family." Even though I think it's selfish that they'll act badly if I do kill myself, I also know it's selfish to relieve myself from the world.
In all honesty, the term hurts. I am with a sociopath who truly understands me, yet I know he exploits my weaknesses. I can read him like a book, and he knows it. He's become nervous of me. Tries to tell me I am the sociopath, not him, when confronted on his personality flaws.
I am a desperate, suicidal girl. I am 20, and I have felt this way since I was about 10. My family, my friends and others have all turned their backs on me because I have no "love" or "compassion". I can't help but feel I need to help children who are ill. When I see them in hospital, it breaks my heart that some have no hope.
Yet this is all an act apparently. Is everyone around me trying to make me kill myself? Are some of my family sociopaths? Or are they all just ignorant because they'd rather it be a disorder, than just because I am genuinely unhappy in this world? Because no parent, no friend, no co-worker wants to see that truth. That for some, living is not an option.
I truly respect sociopaths. I love my boyfriend. He makes me unhappy, but I love him. At least with him, there is no feeing. And I wish that I didn't have to feel. I wish I didn't have to be hurt by the people I love. I wish everyone was right about me.

You are correct in almost every way, you have sociopathic tendencies, however you are not.
Your family members are not sociopaths either, I find many people who show emotions a lot do tend to accuse and make things worse; in other words, they think extremely subjectively, cannot remove themselves from the situation and see how silly they can be and what harm they're causing. That's the benefit of being a sociopath, you can think extremely objectively. However, that's the only benefit. Do not wish you were one. Relish in the fact that you're not missing anything in your life, that there are many people like you and who will support you and not be disgusted with you.
You seem rather intelligent - a rarity in empaths. Keep it that way.

No. I said I didn't feel I had sociopathic tendencies. That is what everyone tells me I am. I am completely the opposite. Yes, I have flaws just like all humans :) I just have a hard time in my own head, but I certainly feel. If it were a diagnosis, I'd believe it.
I have no support. Not because people don't care. Because they are afraid of me. And some they are just too busy in their world. And that's not a bad thing.
I seem intelligent only because I have been taught how to seem intelligent by others. Not because I actually am. I'm incredibly irrational.

I apologise, I assumed admitting you were a common liar and you manipulate people was also admitting sociopathic tendencies. That said, that's not just a sociopathic trait, unlike what most people think. 'Normal' peoople lie and manipulate as well.

I must bid the question, why is it a 'good' thing for people to be in their own worlds? Is ignorance truly bliss? I've never been able to understand that, is all.

When referring to intelligence I do not speak of IQ. Are you irrational at impulses, or are you irrational overall?

>>>"When I say I'm sorry, I mean it. I would never use the word lightly." --- You have Borderine Personality Disorder written all over you. Your parents, housemates and whoever else are simply ignorant if you're telling the truth in this post. Manipulative but you feel REMORSE - BPD. Not to mention, everything else you said screamed out BPD.

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TO ANYBODY WHO IS LEGITIMATELY SEEKING HELP:
THIS IS NOT A HEALTHY SPACE. FOR YOUR OWN SAKE, PLEASE TALK TO A PROFESSIONAL OR SOMEBODY YOU TRUST IN REAL LIFE INSTEAD OF USING THIS THREAD.

Mental issues are tricky things to deal with. They are by no means insurmountable, but if you’re going to try to tackle one head on, you’re going to need support and empathy and and compassion from the people around you, and you’re going to want to get help from somebody who knows the condition inside and out—and I’m sad to say that, apart from a few exceptions, that’s not what you’re going to get on this thread. No--if you come here looking for support, you will almost certainly not receive the advice and understanding you need; just a lot of recrimination and hot air.

When push comes to shove, the truth is that most people—myself very much included—don’t really know what they’re talking about when it comes to mental health. If you need advice, it’s better to talk to a licensed physician with years worth of study under their belt than to some guy who gets all his knowledge about psychology from Law and Order—and if you need support, it’s better to talk to somebody whom you trust and who cares about you than to some random guy on a message board.

Good luck—and take care.

Lel. Please don't tell someone with sociopathy to get help.
Sociopathy isn't a mental issue, it's just an altered way of thinking. No one needs 'help' for it.

Not to mention there's not a single sociopath on this earth that can feel better by 'just talking'.

Not all sociopaths are sociopaths, per se, lol. There is such a thing as sociopathic tendencies, and there certainly is such a thing as a sociopath with narcissism, with or without varying degrees of tendencies of either.

Incidentally, not all sociopaths victimize innocent people. There are some that only hunt other sociopaths - more points. Sociopaths who prey on the innocent are not challenging themselves enough.

Challenge accepted!

A boy who is in my class, and an admitted sociopath, told me "I see you as something important." I am admittedly upbeat and empathetic, but I don't know what he meant.

i'm not old, kinda young
14 almost 15
and i do think that i am a sociopath
i don't give a **** what people think about me, or how i act, or what i look like
and same, if someone handed me a knife, and told me i wouldn't get caught murdering, there are more than a handful that i would
i don't know what other people do normally, but i need to be entertained, or "something that's my fault" happens
i manipulate those around me and i don't care that i do
because if you really need to know something, don't ask me.
if you really think, people that don't believe me, that this isn't a real thing, or that people are just making it up for fun, i can gaurantee that that's not the case
there are people that make this up, but i'm not one of them

i am 16 and i think i am a sociopath i have all the traits as some would say.

were do i go to get help for this.

If you were truly a sociopath, you wouldn't need to ask.
Calm down, you're most likely just a pathological liar, or you know, a ****** friend.
There's no help for sociopathy because it's not a problem.

It's been a few years since your post. Are you still responding?

You are awesome

You're NOT a sociopath. You're the third person I've seen on the internet that thinks they're a sociopath. It makes you feel cool and special doesn't it? Everybody wants to kill someone they hate. Everyone wants to get revenge on an ex. The fact that you didn't physically hurt anyone plus the fact that you're spending time on the internet saying you're a sociopath proves that you're not one. Don't fear though, because revenge-seeking and attention-seeking people such as yourself fit the diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or narcissist. You may be similar to a sociopath but you're definitely not a real one. If you were a sociopath you would be plotting against a victim not writing about yourself on the internet like a narcissist. "(Normal people call it Motive i believe)" lol you obviously have a low IQ if you think a sociopath would take pride in being a sociopath. Oh and one more thing, learn proper grammar if you're going to write for the public. Anyone with just a little bit of intelligence is laughing at your posts. Get a life loser. It looks like some people actually believe you're a maniacal abuser, oh my goodness I can't believe how stupid some people really are.

Let's go over some things together, shall we?

You: Sociopaths always physically hurt someone and lack self control( I add this because judging by your writing that's what you're heading).
Truth: Only marginally correct. The lower functioning sociopaths tend to get caught and put into prisons and it can also be confirmed that majority of inmates are sociopaths or psychopaths (They are actually the violent ones fyi).
You: Sociopaths do not gloat about their triumphs or write about their goals.
Truth: This is completely false. In fact, most Sociopaths enjoy talking about their past and hold a high regard to their ability to manipulate others to get what they want. Narcissism and Sociopathy share that common trait, the only difference is a narcissist won't try to really **** with you unless you do something to mess with their "image" A Sociopath will do it just out of boredom.
You: Sociopaths obsess over plotting.
Truth:....OK....you got that one pretty good. But we don't let it consume us. I'll also add this here because I can. Sociopaths tend to actually have a higher than average IQ but as with any statistic there are variations and outliers that must be considered.
The rest of your post isn't my concern. No matter how many books you read, you'll never understand Sociopathic behavior. Only what some ******* watching prisoners was able to figure out.

I think u r not getting the point here this is someone who is simply describing what a socipath is but spiffed it up and made it into first person form..im sure this person who wrote this knows that a real sociopath doesnt acknowledge themselves as such and thinks this way at all. It think this person made it in a humorous way how if a socipath could see things maybe its this way..but we know its not.come on we all r not this stupid..give the guy some credit ..bravo on the description of a socipath!!

Sociopaths often acknowledge what they are, don't know where you got information otherwise.
They're intelligent and observant enough to realise they're not the same as everyone else, and they're curious enough to do everything they can to find out how they're different. It's odd to say the least, for a sociopath to not acknowledge they're different in some way.

Heh.
Yeah, it's annoying as all hell when people say 'OHMYGOD MY EX IS A SOCIOPATH HE CHEATED ON ME' to make themselves feel better, or for something to say 'I WISH I COULD KILL MY MUM SHE"S SO ANNOYING I'M A SOCIOPATH'. The person in question isn't a sociopath. However, what bugged me was your 'if you were a sociopath you would have killed already not dwell on killing on the internet. Which is completely untrue.
You don't know as much as you thought about sociopaths, because if you did you would be aware of how there are many different kinds; entitled, amoral, common, alienated - disaffiliated, disempathetic, hostile, cheated - aggressive and dyssocial.
You're clearly just thinking of the aggressive type. If you are a sociopath, you clearly are the aggressive type. If you're not, you're assuming every sociopath is exactly like one another. So either way you're close-minded as shiet >.>

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I had a child with a sociopath. He managed to get custody. I've been off/on with him for months. I want to get him back to how he would pursue me. My motive is to get my son, by any means (legally) necessary. How do I get him to want me again? I am beautiful, smart, and funny. We were together 5 years. I don't love him anymore and he can't hurt me anymore. I've managed to become a robot when I'm with him to make him believe I still love him, but he is wishy-washy.

You dumbass that person isn't a sociopath! You're beautiful, smart, and funny? That's up to other people to decide, not you. The fact that you say you're those three things tells me you're most likely ugly, ignorant, and just plain stupid. Nobody cares about you or your ******* problems! Get the **** out of here!

I'm sorry my post for help somehow offended you. I know these things about myself because of observations of others. People that have these qualities know it. Trust me. But since you clearly don't have advice for me, please proceed trolling the internet for other help sites that you can criticize the victim. Idiot.

Hi, I've always tried to figure my boyfriend out, he acts like a sociopath, I fell in love with him deeply, and him with me, I think!! I left him cos he was always running me down, and at first i was strong, he wanted me back so I went back, as time went on, I left him few more times, for other reasons, he always blames me,and now he is not bothered about having me back, he said cos i left him to many times, and its very easy for him to just cut of, If I give him what he wants he'll have me back, but its so wrong, he wants me to give up my son. Im so hurt cos I thought he loved me, and now he's moving on and he's fine, he has hurt me a lot now by calling me a **** for moving in to early and other stuff, but he was soo loving before. I know he is probally not right for me cos he abuses me emotionally, he's nice to me when he's getting what he wants. Im just finding it really hard to get over him. would he ever consider going out with me again in the future, eventhough he said he never goes back! he says a lot of things but then does what he wants!!! he's very manipulative he broke my relationship with my parents and told me if i left him i would lose everything he got rid of all my stuff but told me he still loved me and blamed me for it, im still scared that he follows through with things he threatened me with... I really hate him for hurting me and want to hurt him back, but know that if he would hurt me back again worse. Its horrible actually knowing that he doesn't really care about me even though he's taking me round shops showing me the ring he wanted to buy me, all the things he did for me and told me how much he loved me... he was soo horrible to my son though he would call him names cos his father is from morroco so he would call him a half breed, and last time I left I did it for my son cos he was hurting him, I was so torn cos I left and still loved him. I miss him so much, and wonder if he misses me!! and would ever take me back!! thanks in advance!

Oh boo hoo hoo, I'm bursting into tears at your story -_- Nobody cares about anyone honey the only person that really cares about you is you. Everyone has the same problem. You're NOT special.

This is a very unhealthy relationship for you. You know this in your heart, but you are too deeply in love to be able to act upon it. I think the best thing for you right now is to talk to a grief counselor. You need to move on as if this guy died, and you could never see him again. He does not care about you at all. From what you say it sounds like he is a pathological liar as well. I wouldn't advise that you believe anything he says, whether it is negative or positive. He's probably looking for a new victim right now. Moving on from him might be the hardest thing for you to do, but a grief counselor can help you do this. Do whatever it takes to move forward and not look back.

Out of curiosity.............why would you a sociopath want people who are not to know how you or other sociopaths think or behave?

Because he's not a sociopath, he's a wannabe. There are others on the internet just like him.

After loosing everything.. Almost my two boys as well because of being with my ex who I'm certain she is a Sociopath.My sons and I are in counseling 2 days a week and I am aware know I am codependent.. Or to her a perfect target. Right?Of course reading about any mental illness more often they are directed toward men it seems. But when it comes to the female sociopath, I can't find the answers I'm looking for. One is: Many postings say they are sexual. She hated sex, being touched or reciprocating emotions. She constantly had female issues that prevented any intimacy. Once she said that whenever I tried to be intimate with her she felt like I was raping or violating her. In which, I was devastated by her comments. So I didn't touch her unless she instigated it. Then it was, I didn't love her or I was cheating and so on. Is this sociopath behavior?

hi, my gay best friend drunkenly 'confessed' to me that he thinks he's a sociopath. He says he feels no empathy, always moodless, and has learned how to act socially from observing other people. He knows he has no reason to feel superior but still does, and knows he's a horrible person but can't care about it. He told me that this is the most real I have ever seen him and everything about him is fake. He is my best friend, I have a connection with him unlike any other, we activate something in each other that cannot be activated by anyone else. I don't care about the sociopathic behaviour, I've always know not to go to him when I'm down, and I accept that he does his own thing but I don't really care because the time we spend together is fun and I have other people in my life to cater for my other needs, FUN is what I get from him. However I'm questioning our friendship as a whole, when we're having fun is he actually having fun or is all the banter we have going on fake? It's always us to over everybody else, we have our private jokes no one else gets, and everyone sees we have a close (supposedly close) friendship. Thing is, the same night we had this talk he really wanted to see his boyfriend and couldn't articulate why, to a ridiculous degree, but commented when I pointed out this fact that he would be feeling more strongly about it if he was a 'normal person'. He also said he has felt down before after a family tragedy but that how he felt after a very close family member died was comparative to not receiving any presents on christmas day. I'm not doubting him, though I'm finding it hard to deal with, but are there levels of sociopathy? Is all the banter we have fake? Is he labelling himself too soon? Is it depression? He also commented that he couldn't have unattractive friends. Sociopathy or just a rich kid with a lack of relative and perspective? I'm not sure what to do.

I'm going through the same thing right now. We meet for breakfast and dinner once a week, and we laugh at a lot of stuff. We are almost like two of a kind when we are together. However, I know he does not have any capacity to care about anyone, and he has no conscience. As much as I like hanging with him, I question whether this is a healthy friendship. I don't know why he keeps inviting me to eat with him, since we are complete opposites emotionally. I often listen to him complain about somebody else, when he is guilty himself of what he complains about. One side of me wants to keep hanging with him. The other side tells me to stay away from him. I'm not sure what to do either.

How do I make the sociopath suffer? How do I make him feel the violation and shame that he has made me feel?

I don't think you can ever cause him to feel shame and you definitely will never make him feel remorse. From what I read the absolute worst thing you can do to him or her is make it known that you know what he/she really is. They don't like being found out but you have to be prepared to go through hell because they will get very nasty. Depending on the particular sociopath, it may even be extremely dangerous. The best thing you can do is not have any contact with him at all. As long as you continue speaking to him or her, you are giving her your power. You will, therefore continue to feel violated ans ashamed. I know, because I hadn't seen my ex in months and as soon as I gave in and saw him, all the progress I had made went right out the window and all over again, I felt like I lost all my power. It IS a horribly violating feeling. Ever since I saw him that day and he kissed me, I have been disgusted with myself and can't stand being touched by anyone.

I don't think you understand. My life, lives of my family, and our safety has already been threatened, and he may kill me. I have already established no contact. Things have already gotten very ugly an he has violated me in every way shape and form. I a forever damaged....untouchable, I have jabbed him in every way I know. I have not only called him what he refuses to allow someone to call him, but I have explained why those names are true. I ******** him of his power over me and manhood all in one swipe. I'm not done. I want to make him suffer. I want to **** him off every day. I want him to be the source of his suffering. I want his anguish to be painstakingly slow. What will hurt him? Me exposing him? Me messing with his life? What types of things do sociopaths value? How do I destroy him?

*str ipped him
*pi ssed

***pi ss not pi ssed

Maybe that's all I need to do, take away his power over me. I have already hurt him in ways most people can not by hitting him where it hurts. I have stri oped him of his manhood. I have taken what he asked me to never take away, away from him. He wants to destroy me. Is being successful and acting like I don't care really that much of a blow to his ego? Does he want to engage in combat w me? Does he see himself as a driving force in my life? I want him destitute. What if I pity him? How does that change the game?

I agree with Arguendo it sounds like you're the sociopath here, not him.

You sound like a sociopath to me

Rape him. Kill him. How would you violate or shame Ted Bundy? ARealSociopath is obviously not even a sociopath dumbass. I bet if I told everyone that responded to this moron that "by drinking poisoned cool aid they would go to heaven" they would do it. Rob Zombie was right, some people such as yourself are idiots.

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So my ex is a sociopath or maybe psychopath, I'm not sure about all the differences but anyway, when I met him, I didn't love him. I don't fall in love easily and even though he IMMEDIATELY started love bombing me, it did not make me love him. It actually freaked me out and made me want to distance myself, but he went on to pursue me for close to two years continually love bombing me and idealizing me till I finally did fall in love with him, then he preceded with all of the typical steps that follow the love bombing stage and basically completely and utterly destroyed every aspect of my life but my question is, why would he pursue me for so long? I was a strong, independent, confident woman and there would have been thousands of easier targets to prey on. Why would he fixate on me? Why did the idealization phase last so much longer than normal?

You were a challenge. You. Added spice to the game. Destroying you was more satisfying.

I can't stand to be touched either. I feel like he was raping me every time we had sex.

I feel like every time he touched me, every time he spoke to me, and every moment we existed together was nothing more than him violating me, raping my soul, my body. I feel like he found a way to rape me down to my veins. I lost my friends, my family, my job, my health, and my sanity because of all the ways he violated and victimized me. You are not alone.

Well you let him do it you dumbass. I'm sick and tired of hearing girls complain about a bad ex when the whole time they let him treat them like crap. If you allowed him to disrespect you in a relationship then he will lose respect for you. He's not a sociopath, you're just an insecure and desperate girl :) Now go cut yourself in the bathroom LOL

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so here goes, I want as truthful an answer as possible, please. My ex-husband is a sociopath, he doesn't see it but it blantantly obvious. He claims he has "feelings" for me, as he so eloquently puts it, becuase we met under different circumstances and I am much different than any other woman he has ever come into contact with. He says that women fall into two categories in life....the ***** to the highest bidder - who doesn't care who knows that she is in it for the money, and the ***** that screws around and claims that she has "feelings" or "loves" the guy, even if she just met him that night.

Me, he says he has feelings for because we talked on the phone for 2 months and NEVER once discussed sex or anything of the sort. If we had, I would have never talked to him again. We talked about things that we both enjoy, hot rods, working on cars, going fast, my kids, life in general.

My main question is this....is he just bullshitting me?

Yes, he hates women and perceives you as manipulative. He is waiting to find out which category you fall in.

No, he's just another guy that doesn't get girls. Most of my friends say the same things he does. You don't need to worry about him being a sociopath, but you may need to worry about your standards for men... just saying

A sociopath acting as spiritual counselor and therapist for many has been exposed. He's been at if for decades and gets run out of town. Now he's in our town and we want him out. We have lots of accurate and damaging information about him. We've exposed him to the health professionals and to friends. But he's still practicing therapy and he's so good at it (I went for 2 years) that some who even know will still see him. We are about to tell him he can stay if he stops practicing. How can we force him to leave? How can we find out where his next town is so we can inform community leaders there? What will break him? He's seems impervious. Shows no true signs of making amends. ThankYou for your courage and your making of amends in this way. All Best to You.

He is a sociopath. Which means he is totally unable to make amends as he doesn't feel guilty about his misconduct. So... report all inappropriate conduct to his licensing board. See that he is professionally disciplined- up to an including being ******** of his license to practice. Report all criminal misconduct to the police. Be prepared to testify at trial and sentencing. Sue him for any torts he committed against you personally.

Basically, if he's a sociopath, he is incapable of conforming to lawful behavior and unwilling to do so if it would profit him in any way to not conform (this is a brightline for the diagnosis). Sociopaths break the law with considerable frequency. Use legal processes to punish him.

It is generally accepted in the psychiatric community that the only effective strategy for handling sociopaths is incarceration in a penal facility when they commit criminal acts.

You say he is good at his job so what is the problem. This sounds like a form of discrimination to me, replace the word sociopath in your sentence with black and see how it reads.

I agree with you; people on here think every person that doesn't care about them is a sociopath. No one on here has seen the Halloween, Saw, or Scream movies. Micheal Myers would be a real sociopath, the people being described here are just average Joes that hate their life.

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The grammar really needs work. It also makes me think more narcissistic than intelligent.

I've been in a torturous relationship for almost 3 years and I think I've figured out the reason. I believe he's a sociopath. He lies, cheats without using protection, gave one girl a shirt I always slept in, while still claiming his love for me. He shows no remorse at all for anything he does wrong. I witnessed him screaming at his brother for cheating on his wife while cheating and lying to me. Now he's left me in Florida while he's in ohio working, and he shows no emotion about leaving me to deal with a lot of hardships with my 3 kids. He is very cold about my insecurity, very disconnected about the worries of having to move and finances, has been gone for over a month, and gets angry when I need reassurance. He's spent money on his phone, his gym membership, and who knows what els, while I'm worried about paying bills and rent so I'm not kicked out of this house with 3 kids too. He is very attached to a little girl he was a part of for 5 years but now has no contact with since the breakup with her mom 3 years ago, but that's the only things he's ever shown attachment to. What do I need to do to end my suffering and get away? He doesn't take my "no" for an answer, and uses my love for him as a tool to get what he wants. I have read numerous messages from him to other girls, even his ex, about his undying love and affection for them, while in my bed an arms telling me the same. HELP ME

Hi, you sound exactly like me, I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years, only the last couple of months I have started to figure him out, I think he is a sociopath . Since the day i got with him, he has lied , he lies about every single thing, before me he was with a women for 20years and had 5 kids with her, he has cheated on me with her several times, everytime I caught him in a lie and throw him out, he goes back to her. when i have broke up with him, he makes my life hell, verbally abusing my friends, harrasing me, he has never hit me but gets so angry when I kick him out , its like he wants to hurt me for hurting him.he lies non stop, gambles, has severe paranoia, constantly thinks im cheating on him, im trying to figure out if he has feelings for his ex or that he is just really sick, he only goes to her when I've had enough , but I always forgive him, he leads his ex on he wont let go, she abuses me with messages after messages. He has very low selfesteem but a huge ego, ive slowly stopped going out socially with him with other people, he gets to paranoid and im in constant fear of worrying what he will do. I love him so much but cant put up with this for much longer, he wont get help he wont admit anything, I know he doesnt mean to do the things he does,I've had enough and dont know what to do only to get out I think which he wont make easy

No no no if anything YOU'RE the sociopath for kicking him. If he's paranoid about you and has a huge ego that probably means he's a narcissist. I hate to break this to you, but the only way to deal with a narcissist is to stay away from them. I'm not a psychologist so you might want to look up cures for narcissism or consult a professional to get a more secure diagnosis for him. Best of luck to you.

That's so interesting that he would yell at his brother for it while he was also doing it. My ex was that way with abuse, he was always trying to save the damsel in distress and get girls away from their abusive boyfriends all the while abusing me...

Yep, ditto

y the way, if he's cheating on you, why are you still with him? Obviously you're very attached to him, but I'm afraid it's time to say good bye. Unless of course you can handle this kind of suffering. All the best to you lass!

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I'm sorry to tell you but, your not a sociopath. As a diagnosed above average sociopath, ( by several doctors, I don't believe I am) here's my input.
I have also been successful in my life. I had and still have most of the "normal" things . I left it because I got bored and wouldn't lose anything I still have use for.
I didn't "learn" things. I react to situations, and play the game based on the way I want it to go so it continues or ends.
I don't want to kill anyone, and I don't consider myself violent, If I think I may have a use for someone, why would I want them dead? If I don't why bother with them?

You are the most unique sociopath ever. You say you don't commit bad acts because you understand the consequences.

The hallmark of sociopathology is reckless disregard of risk. Consequences are meaningless to most sociopaths. Which is to say most sociopaths don't rape women, for instance, because they don't "feel like" raping women; which is to say, they are not sexually violent. If they felt like it, because they happened to be both a sociopath and sexually violent, they would commit rape, no matter what the consequences.

In fact, you are more or less describing yourself as someone with high level impulse control and little understanding of human interaction. Which is to say, you would appear to be autistic rather than sociopathic.

The type of sociopath you are describing are the knuckle draggers. A functioning sociopath understands the purpose of blending in. We do not just go waltzing around doing as we please ( We are devoid of feelings, not intelligence and common sense ) if we know it will land us in a place where we will DEFINATELY have no chance to do anything. Instead we pick and choose what we do. Messing with people's heads isn't something you can go to jail for, nor in manipulating them to whatever degree you want. Simple **** like that helps suppress the urges. Do some reading before you try to go on a crusade of debunking. Better yet, just read the story, enjoy it for what it is. Move on.

... Dude you're not a sociopath.

You really replied to almost every post on here.....bored much? It is of no concern to me whether you think I am a Sociopath or not.

Even sociopaths and psychopaths know to stop their car at a red-light. The difference is reason and motive behind the action. A sociopath can treat other people according to principles or religious beliefs but the low sense of emotional awareness of themselves and others allows true connection with other people very difficult.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fourth edition (DSM-IV-TR), defines ASPD- Anti-Social Personality Disorder the diagnosis created to describe the lay term sociopathology (in Axis II Cluster B) as:
A) There is a pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others occurring since age 15 years, as indicated by three or more of the following: 1.failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest;
2.deception, as indicated by repeatedly lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure;
3.impulsivity or failure to plan ahead;
4.irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults;
5.reckless disregard for safety of self or others;
6.consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations;
7.lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another;
B) The individual is at least age 18 years.
C) There is evidence of conduct disorder with onset before age 15 years.
D) The occurrence of antisocial behavior is not exclusively during the course of schizophrenia or a manic episode.

Sociopaths do not have low social awareness. That is a hallmark of Autism Spectrum Disorders. Sociopaths are fully emotionally aware and understand social norms and human relationships just fine. They simply exempt themselves from those norms out of an entrenched sense of privilege. They feel the rules shouldn't apply to them because they're special- not automatons who can't understand human relationships, but demi-gods who are exempt from the rules ordinary mortals live under.

To be a sociopath, by definition, you must persistently violate the rights of others and have done so for your entire life. To have found a way not to violate the rights of others means- you are not a sociopath.

They don't connect with others, not because they don't understand others, but because they're ****** human beings who are abusive, deceitful, often violent, conniving and with no sense of consequences and who rationalize their misconduct.

Sounds like somebody got their "rights violated. Get over it and move on with your life.

Tell'em bro! Educate these wannabes. :)

Sociopaths aren't religious, narcissists are. Sociopaths don't have principles, what are you talking about? People always confuse narcissists with psychopaths. The ignorance in society infuriates me. If you don't know what you're talking about then shut the **** up!!

That isn't at all accurate. Yes, they struggle with impulse control and have impulses to do things that most of us wouldn't do because of our conscience but they are very aware of possible consequences, that is precisely what keeps them from giving in to every impulse.

You're not a sociopath! Shut up! Damn..

Another person on here with intelligence! I'm beginning to regain hope for the human race. That person is definitely not a sociopath; not even close in any right. He could indeed be autistic, I was thinking narcissistic since he's financially successful and looking for attention by making a ridiculous claim.

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How do you know you are a sociopath? Is this a self-diagnosis or did someone with some expertise tell you that you were?

I just find it very hard to believe that there are 984 people on experience project who are really sociopaths. How did you arrive at that conclusion?

For real man they're annoying the **** out of me as well!

To gravesasha: No he doesn't love you. He can't feel love and neither can I. Additionally, stop focusing on love. Read what you just wrote. Would you want your mom or closest friends to be with a guy that abuses them physically and mentally? You're with him because your self esteem is as low as your intelligence. Getting away from him is very easy. Break up, delete and block his number, don't contact him, etc. If he starts following you and ****, threaten to call the police. Don't try and get in mind games with him because he'll win every time. And just to reiterate, even if he could love, is how he treats you a way someone would really show love? A huge, resounding, no.

I have been in a very serious relationship with a supposed sociopath. We started dating summer of 2010, we broke up for about 9 months and got back together. We have a 7 month old daughter together now.
He has cheated in the past, I've caught him every time which is why we broke up. This time around, he does lie about stupid little irrelevant things but nothing that has me thinking he cheats or is trying to see anyone else. So far, he has been faithful and I always catch him lying (most of the time). I go through his phone, And Facebook once in a whole just to make sure and there hasn't been one thing I find suspicious. I know where he goes and his stories add up if I do question him.

My question to you is,
Could it be possible that because we've been together so long that he has kind of adapted to the committed life ?
Could he really be being faithful to me now ?

I ask because, every once in a while I think it may be too good to be true that he actually does respect me enough to stay faithful to me.
One thing we do argue about is his **** usage. He watches **** almost everyday, few times a day even at work... I've even caught him before and I get upset because I get offended that he won't have sex with me instead. In my opinion he is addicted to it and we often argue about that but not any cheating problems anymore. So far at least !

But could it be possible that he is changing his ways slowly, due to his life as a long term boyfriend and father?

You're the 1,000th girl on here that thinks she's with a sociopath. Men suck, if you don't like them date women. Damn.

You're not wrong. Most people are too wrapped up in the ego, they have a sense of specialness that tells them everyone who hurts them must be a monster. The idea that they just aren't interesting enough to stick around for is too much for their little rabbit hearts to handle.

Another insecure projection, this one filtered through an unbearably lazy mind.

Moving on.

Naw dude, you are not a sociopath. If you were one, then you would try to befriend the guy everyone hates in your office and take advantage. I think pretty much everyone who once reads the defination of a sociopath starts to relate with it and thinks he is one once they see the advantages with it.You have just read those things about sociopaths that they see everyone like robots in the internet and trying to fool yourself that you are also one. Its just human nature and you are as far from being a sociopath as one could be.

Being a sociopath is about having a low sense of emotional awareness. A person can be anti-social in many different ways. Being smart in an informational manner is not a defining mark of a sociopath. Just drive by your nearest government-funded housing projects to see what sociopaths with low informational-IQ are like. Shootings and Stabbings everyday.

Thank you sir, thank you :) People are so self-deceiving.

I need to figure out how to push the buttons of a sociopath I work with. This person and I are stuck with each other until one of us cries Uncle. And while that is totally going to be me, in the meantime I would like to have my own fun with her. Ive already exposed her theft and lying, but she managed to deflect all blame. Now she is furious with me and tormenting me. How can I attempt to beat her at her own game? Thanks for taking the time to read this.

If you leave your wallet unattended in a public area, most people would steal it. Just because she lies and steals doesn't mean she's a sociopath, it just means she's your average *******.

*butt hole

You can't. You're missing the point. They don't care. You're poking a bear. The bear does not care about you, and the stick does not hurt, you will not hurt the bear, but you must remember that the only thing stopping the bear from eating your face is time. My advice: run, hide, submit. Accept that you're too vulnerable to do anything other than play dead and hope that the bear goes away. Then go lick your wounds.