Struggling With A Potential Sociopath

I've struggled with the confusion for a long time. I have been dating a girl for a little over a year who tells me she fears she might be a sociopath. At first I laughed if you're worried about being a sociopath it cannot be possible. But then she'd talk and I'd feel it...We found a stray kitten a while ago and she hated it finally the cat became scared of her because she was aggressive toward it and it ran away. I asked her if she felt guilty about her behavior and if she missed him. Since I felt both these things, but she did not. She laughed a little and then said no I don't feel bad at all. She had an ex who she was particularly unkind to and I asked if she felt guilty then, no she didn't. She said the only time she felt bad about her actions is when someone hurt her in the same way. And not bad about what she did but the realization that others can hurt her as well. The other night when we were laying bed I thought maybe she's more of dog person so I asked her if she would feel bad for hurting a puppy and she said no. So I finally brought it home to my selfish thoughts and I asked her if she would feel bad for hurting me. She asked me how...and I said in any way and she just told me she loved me and went to bed. I know it's more in depth but I can only focus on the surface. I'm worried that I'm investing my emotions in someone who doesn't care if they hurt me or others. I'm afraid I'm invested in someone who cannot and does not care about empathy.
Urbanx Urbanx
22-25, F
5 Responses Sep 12, 2011

erm...she cannot feel.....therefore she DOES NOT feel....why is this so hard to understand.....sociopathic: They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims. <br />
They feel that certain things 'are their right' ....why is this so hard for people to understand? they cannot why do you ask them something they cannot do....would you ask me to speak thai...i cannot speak thai :(

That's a good point. Well played. Yeah I don't understand why certain empaths I've talked with think that I should recognize the rights of others. What does that mean? Who cares? They can never explain why!!! Am I supposed to accept something that doesn't serve my motives blindly because someone says I should? You do it because it benefits you in one way or another. I don't because it doesn't benefit me, just as you would in my position. :( simply logical just saying.

I don't understand why she didn't just say "Yes, because I'm attached to you." or bsed better. must not think well on the spot

She will tell you that she loves you, and if she is good, you as an empath may find it difficult if she seems sincere. Maybe she really did just find out that her logical personality is defined as a personality disorder and made a mistake in telling you. My advice to you would be to convince (manipulate, thats what convince is really...) her to create a strong logical moral and place that in a box of absolute integrity. Thats what I have done. It prevents me from doing things without reason and allows me to stay away from jail. For the good of "normal" society it means I won't kill you for enjoyment.

I should think that you should look at why you are attracted to this type of person...<br />
<br />
You can't save can't change are DOING someting for her..its a thing not a feeling or attachement. You are 'useful' for what ever reason<br />
<br />
A person cannot 'care about empathy'..they can only feel it.. <br />
<br />
She is detached from feeling and she cannot care if she is pathiologically unsocialised

Although it's believed some sociopaths can be attached to a person or a group of people, I highly doubt this is the case. If you end up hurt, you probably deserve it.

Well I've always heard that sociopaths can become attached to people but it wouldn't be the same as empaths. More of an affection like a favorite football team etc. However, in any relationship we are all responsible for our own hurt it's the price of admission to someone. It's not so much about the hurt that I will experience, but more about the why.

somebody who gives you something is what you're attached to. not the person, but what you get from 'em. believe me, though, I'm good at pretending to be hurt, and my cognitive empathy is high. so I can guess how people work, and I've been developing that skill my whole life. odds are, she's either trying to convince you she's struggling when she's not and not seeing the holes, or she's fully aware of the holes, is trying convince you she's sincere by supposedly exposing herself... or she's generally ****** up anyways. I'm curious about what the outcome was.