One day of a sociopathic mind

I have been in this state of mind ever since I came here; perhaps to a lesser degree I no longer have extended versions (desires) of hurting myself. Nevertheless, my emptiness, inability to carry conversations with others and mine staying in my head most of the time is a huge burden to carry. People are telling me that depression overtook my mind and judgement is clouded. I disagree. Rather than depression it is misery that makes me this way. For I now realize how disfunctional I am. How can I have hope if my situation is hopeless. If I am right about myself and in fact I am, not delusonal, then i am set for failure. My meds do not make much difference. While in school for so long I haven't made any friends. I talked to people but that is as far as it went. This never bothered me as long as I had my drugs, saw old company with similar activities like myself. That explains lack of relationship with family and people I considered friends. Now I am alone even though she is by my side. That's one of the most miserable existences. I can not even cry about it. I want to feel sad but I can't. At home all I did during the day was get naps just to escape reality. I had no gray feelings, no nothing. I just knew life will never be the same. If God exists he played a joke on me (even though I was born healthy and extremely fit)
deleted deleted
26-30
2 Responses May 21, 2012

How do you want to be perceived here? I'm confused because u certainly sound depressed. Go join the depression group. Find friends in the I don't have any friends group. I'm serious! Look em up. But shoo. You won't find the support ur looking for here.

ok.....

Haha. Lovely response.

your answer says it all really...