Post

Who Believes the Self-confessed Sociopath?

I don't believe half the people who claim to be sociopaths. I will admit that all who claim that (especially using their real identities) are certainly screwed up individuals. Why should you believe me that I am? Who cares? Just read. The labels really don't matter. Narcissist? Psychopath? Sociopath? Borderline? Who really cares? I just want to brag about who I am since I like what I am. I feel unrestricted and I feel at an advantage despite my phases of misery and depression. I am not devoid of conscience. It's just off from time to time.

What I can tell you about me is that I cannot put myself in others' shoes. I never feel bad about anything I do: For me to have taken an action in the first place means that I had justified in my mind why I would do it. Why feel bad after? I also have no firm principles or beliefs that I can't get rid of. I am whatever you want me to be so long as it works to my benefit. I am not the compulsive liar but I will lie convincingly when it suits me and I use selective honesty like a seasoned professional all while staring you in the eye with most heart-warming sincerity. I don't cheat or deceive for financial gain since I don't need to. I'm a minimalist and anti-consumerist by nature. I live among a small population with no chance for easy relocation where reputation must be guarded with one's life. The only thing that motivates me to go on is power -- my relationship of dominance over others. Fame, notoriety, money, sex are all secondary objectives.

I am sadistic. A smile comes to my lips when I hear stories of others being hurt. I enjoy hurting others myself -- emotionally, physically, verbally. I am the guy in the cinema who can't help but laughing when all others cringe at the sight of suffering of some innocent before them. I enjoy fighting and I am a mean son of a ***** when I take to drinking. I will pick on even those who are stronger than me: bouncers, the police. I will tell them incredible things hoping to get the crap kicked out of me or to be tossed in a cell. It never happens though. I kick the crap out of others. Sometimes others kick the crap out of me. I am masochistic. I hurt myself at times too and it doesn't bother me. A little pain lets you know you are alive.

I would *never* tell another person face to face that I am one. Some clever folks have seen the red flags and two or three have dared to call me by that label. It terrifies me when people see through my charming behaviour to the core. I avoid them. I think about them constantly and how I should handle them since they are a threat to me, my identity and my place in my social milieu. I find that avoiding them is the easiest thing. Nobody should ever be allowed to see through the mask. It's difficult acting normal and it wears me out but there's a price to be paid for letting your guard down and revealing the soulless being inside.

When I first encountered the term "sociopath" I was naive enough to share my suspicions with my girlfriend at that time and it was stupid. How do you tell a girlfriend that you really are incapable of loving her? Obviously you shouldn't. Once I saw how the information was affecting her, I quickly had to go back on all that I said and convince her that my self-diagnosis was inaccurate and that the various checklist criteria didn't apply to me. You quickly lose the naivite of confessing who you are when you realise that this kind of honesty does more damage to your social relationships. People would rather not know that you are not like them and that you don't care for them or feel for them or that if you do you only care for them like the owner of a prized possession.

Both my parents died when I was young. I benefited from good parenting and a good education so I have a strong moral education as well and as I am self-sustained financially I don't hit anybody up for simple things like money. To ask people for money is simply beneath me. I abhor other anti-social individuals. There is no community among us as far as I am concerned and I want to hurt all the others who share my experience. I reserve a special hatred in the deep recesses of that vile beating blood pumping instrument of mine I call a heart for con-artists, gamblers and thieves.

As I said, I have a strong moral background and education but I believe in nothing. I wouldn't go so far as calling myself amoral but there's no belief I wouldn't sacrifice in the name of expediency. It matters not to me with which religion I identify publicly. I believe in no god. I don't really believe I am God but I sure do feel like it. I feel as if only my experiences matter and that I have a clear insight into the way things are to which no other man or woman is privy. With that said, yes, I have shoplifted and stolen and engaged in other criminal behaviour but mostly just to try out crime just to see if I could. I have never been convicted of any crime and as far as the world knows I am a respectable individual based on my profession. I have no deep seated criminal convictions and only do these things to see if I can get a kick out of them. The fun never returns if I do the same thing over and I find that I have to escalate the activity to re-experience the joy of doing something that you aren't supposed to do or to be somewhere where you shouldn't be.

The most difficult part of being who I am is that you can never share your experiences except anonymously and this here is not exactly anonymous since my information has been logged, timestamped and recorded. This is fairly harmless information though and works more as a kind of therapy for me. I am convinced of my own superiority and it's silent suffering never being able to share the greatness of your character with others. I feel sometimes as if I am separate from the species known as homo sapiens.

Do I use and discard people? Sure. There's a great forum with whiney pansies who dated jerks on MSN groups called PSYCHOPATH dedicated to helping them heal that refers to my behaviour as idealisation and devaluation. I participated for some time but they quickly discovered my lack of empathy and booted me out. No love lost. They were beginning to annoy me with all their sob stories and irresponsible behaviour. An example of their nonsense was that they blame psychopaths for *everything* -- for giving them sexually transmitted infections instead of simply practising safe sex with a condom, for example. Idiots. Having the knowledge that I use and discard people does not help me to control the behaviour. It's really just a manifestation of my boredom with others. Why should I waste my precious seconds of living being around you or listening to you if there is no utility in our exchanges?

Do I need people? Yes, I need people. Power is a relationship among people. To exercise power you need people. Do I enjoy compliments? It depends. They don't really matter that much since they re-affirm all that I know about myself but I do enjoy being adored. It means the person is in some way under my control. Do I like criticism? No, especially when it comes from morons with half-baked ideas.

Do I have emotions? I feel mostly rage, boredom and the brief epsiodes of sheer excitement -- the dopamine rush -- when through my own cleverness I have attained my ends. My other emotions are quite shallow and I find it difficult to communicate to others what I feel. I usually switch the topic when people ask me to describe in any detail how I feel.

People looking at my pictures will always fixate on my eyes. They can't quite pin down what's behind them. Some find them beautiful, penetrating. For the ones who say nothing and probably know what I am, I am sure they see only the emptiness inside them.

gewissenlos gewissenlos 26-30, M 142 Responses Jun 14, 2008

Your Response

Cancel

I appreciate you. Whatever that means. Regardless, I hope you can find someone to put with you for a fair amount of time and gives you more satisfaction than not.

Why should I care if they are?
Most seem to be dramatizing and attempting to shock. However most anonymous posters on the internet act like a sociopath (not just trolls). I find it harder to believe anyone is sincere in their guilt or empathy. It's safer to simply see what actions they take and prey off of their self-doubt; that one is usually real.

the eye contact freaks me out the most , loving the rap lyrics , oh and how people just love them... never stop asking for money and when i try tell them i know he will never admit it been saying it for weeks keeps saying in a calm way what i start screaming saying ive been saying this for days then again what are you talking about .. driving me insane because he doesnt care i want him to and really bad ..is it really impossible i dont get it

This is the first thing I've read that I've been able to relate to. I think you may be the only real sociopath on here.

There are a lot of comments to read. All i know about a sociopath, is the feeling of guilt or anything negative about themselves, is unbearable. Sometimes, they dont even know they are doing something wrong...little things. Like, hanging out with a friend for 3 days when they know that friend just got some money and he will probably buy you drinks for free. But they don't see it as using someone. They will never admit when they are wrong.

Oh don't forget the lies, deceit, and "playing with people"! Others are objects to them. It may not be their fault, it's just the way they think, but if you don't want to get your heart ripped out of your chest, steer clear of getting attached to them. (I dated a sociopath.)

Whatever man, I think most of the self-confessed sociopaths just have a huge f*cking crush on sherlock holmes.

SO TRUE

well the new one is pretty hot...

I love this

To me you kinda just sound like a sad strange little man insisting he enjoys the hell he's chosen to live. I don't know, have fun I guess. Until someone's had enough of your **** and makes rid of you.

I find it ironic that when I do research online regarding sociopaths, it's often being mentioned how they are able to spot one another but also tend to get along well. I'm a diagnosed sociopath and just like yourself, I cannot stand other anti-social individuals. Sure, I might be interested in them and somehow have the idea that the only type of person I could have an actual conversation with is another sociopath, I would still prefer to snap their spine like twig instead.

This brings me to my question; Do you know any other sociopaths who have trouble dealing with others or are they more likely to get along with one another?

No way. nothing like him. He's the absolute first person i know to lie about things that don't need to be lied about. he invented like, this entire fake life story that from age 7 and on was a load of crap. he wasnt very good at it either. he would forget his lies. but never ever openly admit he lied. just ignore it.

Sociopaths aren\'t anti-social you ignorant ****. They love it. Playing mind-games with other\'s heads, watching them play out, laughing when they screw themselves over because they didn\'t see it coming. Dealing with other sociopaths could be seen by some as an intrusion onto territory. Sociopaths are always better than everyone else, and if that\'s jeopardized, it\'s a whole new world of ******* mind-games.

I dated a Sociopath. A true Sociopath believes there is nothing wrong with them, they do nothing wrong, its everyone else s fault they get hurt. They are the best, the biggest, the smartest, the most talented, the best. They lie about their own lives, and the lives of others. They try to make themselves seem to have gone through so much, when really they just put people through so much. at the end of the day, your not anything but a victim to them, or an accomplise (however thats spelled) they don't care, and if u throw their problems in their face, they will leave you because they can't stand it when they are forced to see what a jerk they are. they hate shame and guilt, and it controls their life.

Well as a sociopath, I understand I'm different, but to be honest I think there's something wrong with all the "normal" people, I'm normal you're not

yes normal means braindead....that's what's ******* wrong living with zombies with their precious possession's..

Hate shame and guilt? As a sociopath, I don\'t really feel those emotions, so those emotions cannot run my life right?

possessions is just plural, not possessive. Your apostrophe was unnecessary. *possessions.

sociopath4sale, are you asking or telling if those emotions can run your life?

2 More Responses

ha ha ha very funny. Your twisted. I don't feel alone.

You\'re not alone. Many people make grammatical errors.
*you\'re twisted

Just a quick question for everyone, do you personally believe in Karma? Like does it depend on how big you do something to get the reaction or whatever happens from Karma? Think about your answers very very carefully

I think the idea if karma is illogical. from a broader perspective stretching far out beyond myself I believe it is possible in minute variations, however the idea that somehow things all balance out inevitably sometimes instantly (regardless of how large the action is) seems ridiculous.

I am pleased you chose to share you feelings regarding your response to being discovered by others. It has only happened to me twice, but it required an exquisite amount of self control on my part to convince myself not to eliminate them. It is not often that I feel rage directed at myself, and the mistakes that lead to my discovery became a blaring testimony to my failure to keep the mask of sanity in place. The only crime against me the others committed was that of being exceptionally clever. I guard my actions much more tightly now, but I enjoy the challenge of keeping my enemies closer than my friends. Thanks for posting.

You hate being judged, so you put up your experience as a Sociopath anyways. I understand that these are just simple words typed from a computer, but you must have some reason for doing this, may it be the need to be the simple need to 'express' it or not. I can see this as a twisted sort of personal gain, but that is not it either. I see contradictions, but so is life. Meaningless, and cruel, but rewarding in a dull sense of a high that only lasts for a short time. Sociopath or not, you seem intelligent, and have some sense of a moral compass, so good day to you sir.

Psychopath, Sociopath, Empath....none of these are only one thing, there are ranges in all of them. Not every Psychopath is a murder not every Sociopath is a calm collected strategist. I don't know if gewissenlos is what he claims to be but I'm not going to mock and call out someone who tries to express themselves here. I'm here to learn and Sociopath or not, reading what he has posted has been informative.

right now i am in a relationship that allready lasts for 12 yrs! my buddy knows me perfect. no secrets. i am full aware of my illness and we talk not so much about this topic, and towards my partner i confess often of WHAT i am and WHAT my goal is. what this illness means and the parasitic life i live...
my partner is aware of this but loves me, and knows what it means. he wil stand by me, what ever it takes. i often have said to break up, because it could be better for his own sake. but he doesnt.

i tell people about me, and what i am. what psychopaths look like, and how they DONT look like, now i am reading marthas strouts book, the sociopath next door.
it gives me the potential to warn people and give them insight, not for my conscience, wich i dont care, but how normal most psychopaths look like.

i think that know what you are, be aware of it, tell it to people what you are, and having no conscience are two different things i guess.

i still can have no conscience at all, but tell people what i am, and the potential dangers its include...

Being able to control people? I really want to know how, but not like in the movies where they really control everything. But in the way you do it.

THANK YOU.
No sane sociopath would self-identify as one. Why someone would want to be this way, or want to have to "act" out emotional responses is a tedium that I can't fathom someone wanting to burden themselves with.
To those who claim to be sociopaths: Normal people have a tendency to be extroverts (to an extent), and find that interacting with others recharges them, but sociopaths need to recharge after being burdened from interaction with people. So, do you enjoy human interaction, or does it tire you?

This was interesting. Just out of curiosity do you care for a select group of people? I have a friend who seems to be a sociopath (or sociopath-like) and he has no affection for humanity as a whole, but does seem to love a select group.

I disagree with that statement, if someone were to say, screw with my mother or brother, I\'d kill them in a heartbeat. Is that not love? Sociopaths are capable of love. It\'s the guilt, remorse and empathy that we cannot feel.

I would say most people on this website have become blinded by the false glamour that hollywood has added to being a sociopath or psychopath.. I would suggest that most of you have been hurt in your life and now want people to realise it by acting out.. Most sociopath threads on this website always mention that 'one love' there is no love for a sociopath that is the point of it!

Agreed. Although I must admit, I have been in a couple relationships where I was told I'm loved, but I never understood the attraction. I "liked" the person, I guess, but no matter how much I tried to feel the same way, I simply couldn't. It's not easy living that way.

I know what you mean by "its different"

blah blah blah blah never been so ******* bored in my life and all I did was skim read this ****!

I feel I am a sociopath, you appear to be an attention seeker. I really do not value the opinions of people I perceive not to be worth my breath or time (95%). I have never cried, I have never been in a fight. It is not the way I work, I can calculate and analyse situations very quickly, defuse and manipulate my way out of it. I am hugely self aware of the affect i have on other people and the person I am myself, I just do not care. I have never felt love, joy or sorrow and I am not concerned about it. I am not here for a confession or therapy, simply to entertain myself, to find new ways to do what I do.
As for yourself being a sociopath, well I think you have been watching too much Dexter and read a hand book on it. You are looking for attention and like the appeal, it is not a positive personality trait. However I have no desire to change, it suit's me, I am cunning and I did not formulate my story from a character on T.V, the worst thing you can do is believe your legend.

I am one, at least my psychiatrist and psychologist say so, and I most definitely do not think it "suits me". I would kill to be normal, rather, to "feel" like a normal person. They look like they are having so much fun with so little effort. Tell me you've never envied their seemingly "happy" existance?

No, I am quite fine the way I am.

Not even a hint of curiosity, huh?

Curiosity as in I watch, take mental notes and try to understand. It is nothing more than that really.

I cannot remember being any different ever, I would say yes.

2 More Responses

I believe it. Some have different stories and reasons pal, and sometimes just following the code can be an exception. Might see them as below me or not as crafty as me, but they are definitely anti-social beings.

I believe you are a sociopath and a narcissist. Why do you hate your own kind? Do you feel that they are a threat to your power?

tl;dr

sounds like your just a narcicist looking for attention as a sociopath...I think you found a little handbook, read it, and reposted it as yourself...so funny.

(maybe it's your husband in disguise!)
I dunno, I just don't see this person as a sociopath, the only word that fits is narcicist.

I came here to this section/story, because I want to know why a sociopath would waste any time or energy being here at all, let alone talk about it. Any answers welcome. Also, if anyone here is truly a sociopath, have you found through your interactions/relationships with others, you have made them sociopathic?

>I will tell them incredible things hoping to get the crap kicked out of me or to be tossed in a cell. It never happens though. I kick the crap out of others.

>Sometimes others kick the crap out of me. I am masochistic.



well one thing I can say is those statements, alongside one another, lacked logic.

You know, you really do sound like you might be a sociopath. I have my doubts about some of these self-proclaimed socios on this board.



However, some of what you say is contradictory! How can you guard your good reputation with your life, and then go out and pick bar fights? That makes no sense whatsoever!

he is just a bar bully looking for a fight ... nothing more .....dime a dozen

still hates mommy probably ...cant take it out on her, so he takes it out him self and others

I liked reading this. You are so right about the majority of self proclaimed sociopaths, I have made the comment myself a number of times. I'm pretty ambivalent about you as a person but I enjoyed your insight into your psyche.

I'm sure that I've heard the word on television or the like, but I had never heard in any context that interested me. I certainly notice when I hear or read it now. As I said, this is a very small rural community in the northwest, and good old folks just don't sit around and talk about such things. I have also consistently resisted becoming involved in any type of therapy or mental health situation. I have not been incarcerated. Why on earth would anyone say that word to me especially if they suspected that there might something "off" about me? The point is...no, I had not known what the word meant previous to meeting up with that date.

so as i understand..... u have just recently learned the nuts and bolts of the word....the dymnacics