Who Believes the Self-confessed Sociopath?
Posted June 14th, 2008 at 7:13PM
I don't believe half the people who claim to be sociopaths. I will admit that all who claim that (especially using their real identities) are certainly screwed up individuals. Why should you believe me that I am? Who cares? Just read. The labels really don't matter. Narcissist? Psychopath? Sociopath? Borderline? Who really cares? I just want to brag about who I am since I like what I am. I feel unrestricted and I feel at an advantage despite my phases of misery and depression. I am not devoid of conscience. It's just off from time to time.
What I can tell you about me is that I cannot put myself in others' shoes. I never feel bad about anything I do: For me to have taken an action in the first place means that I had justified in my mind why I would do it. Why feel bad after? I also have no firm principles or beliefs that I can't get rid of. I am whatever you want me to be so long as it works to my benefit. I am not the compulsive liar but I will lie convincingly when it suits me and I use selective honesty like a seasoned professional all while staring you in the eye with most heart-warming sincerity. I don't cheat or deceive for financial gain since I don't need to. I'm a minimalist and anti-consumerist by nature. I live among a small population with no chance for easy relocation where reputation must be guarded with one's life. The only thing that motivates me to go on is power -- my relationship of dominance over others. Fame, notoriety, money, sex are all secondary ob
I am sadistic. A smile comes to my lips when I hear stories of others being hurt. I enjoy hurting others myself -- emotionally, physically, verbally. I am the guy in the cinema who can't help but laughing when all others cringe at the sight of suffering of some innocent before them. I enjoy fighting and I am a mean son of a ***** when I take to drinking. I will pick on even those who are stronger than me: bouncers, the police. I will tell them incredible things hoping to get the crap kicked out of me or to be tossed in a cell. It never happens though. I kick the crap out of others. Sometimes others kick the crap out of me. I am masochistic. I hurt myself at times too and it doesn't bother me. A little pain lets you know you are alive.
I would *never* tell another person face to face that I am one. Some clever folks have seen the red flags and two or three have dared to call me by that label. It terrifies me when people see through my charming behaviour to the core. I avoid them. I think about them constantly and how I should handle them since they are a threat to me, my identity and my place in my social milieu. I find that avoiding them is the easiest thing. Nobody should ever be allowed to see through the mask. It's difficult acting normal and it wears me out but there's a price to be paid for letting your guard down and revealing the soulless being inside.
When I first encountered the term "sociopath" I was naive enough to share my suspicions with my girlfriend at that time and it was stupid. How do you tell a girlfriend that you really are incapable of loving her? Obviously you shouldn't. Once I saw how the information was affecting her, I quickly had to go back on all that I said and convince her that my self-diagnosis was inaccurate and that the various checklist criteria didn't apply to me. You quickly lose the naivite of confessing who you are when you realise that this kind of honesty does more damage to your social relationships. People would rather not know that you are not like them and that you don't care for them or feel for them or that if you do you only care for them like the owner of a prized possession.
Both my parents died when I was young. I benefited from good parenting and a good education so I have a strong moral education as well and as I am self-sustained financially I don't hit anybody up for simple things like money. To ask people for money is simply beneath me. I abhor other anti-social individuals. There is no community among us as far as I am concerned and I want to hurt all the others who share my experience. I reserve a special hatred in the deep recesses of that vile beating blood pumping instrument of mine I call a heart for con-artists, gamblers and thieves.
As I said, I have a strong moral background and education but I believe in nothing. I wouldn't go so far as calling myself amoral but there's no belief I wouldn't sacrifice in the name of expediency. It matters not to me with which religion I identify publicly. I believe in no god. I don't really believe I am God but I sure do feel like it. I feel as if only my experiences matter and that I have a clear insight into the way things are to which no other man or woman is privy. With that said, yes, I have shoplifted and stolen and engaged in other criminal behaviour but mostly just to try out crime just to see if I could. I have never been convicted of any crime and as far as the world knows I am a respectable individual based on my profession. I have no deep seated criminal convictions and only do these things to see if I can get a kick out of them. The fun never returns if I do the same thing over and I find that I have to escalate the activity to re-experience the joy of doing something that you aren't supposed to do or to be somewhere where you shouldn't be.
The most difficult part of being who I am is that you can never share your experiences except anonymously and this here is not exactly anonymous since my information has been logged, timestamped and recorded. This is fairly harmless information though and works more as a kind of therapy for me. I am convinced of my own superiority and it's silent suffering never being able to share the greatness of your character with others. I feel sometimes as if I am separate from the species known as homo sapiens.
Do I use and discard people? Sure. There's a great forum with whiney pansies who dated jerks on MSN groups called PSYCHOPATH dedicated to helping them heal that refers to my behaviour as idealisation and devaluation. I participated for some time but they quickly discovered my lack of empathy and booted me out. No love lost. They were beginning to annoy me with all their sob stories and irresponsible behaviour. An example of their nonsense was that they blame psychopaths for *everything* -- for giving them sexually transmitted infections instead of simply practising safe sex with a condom, for example. Idiots. Having the knowledge that I use and discard people does not help me to control the behaviour. It's really just a manifestation of my boredom with others. Why should I waste my precious seconds of living being around you or listening to you if there is no utility in our exchanges?
Do I need people? Yes, I need people. Power is a relationship among people. To exercise power you need people. Do I enjoy compliments? It depends. They don't really matter that much since they re-affirm all that I know about myself but I do enjoy being adored. It means the person is in some way under my control. Do I like criticism? No, especially when it comes from morons with half-baked ideas.
Do I have emotions? I feel mostly rage, boredom and the brief epsiodes of sheer excitement -- the dopamine rush -- when through my own cleverness I have attained my ends. My other emotions are quite shallow and I find it difficult to communicate to others what I feel. I usually switch the topic when people ask me to describe in any detail how I feel.
People looking at my pictures will always fixate on my eyes. They can't quite pin down what's behind them. Some find them beautiful, penetrating. For the ones who say nothing and probably know what I am, I am sure they see only the emptiness inside them.
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My friend, kein Gewissen zu haben ist bestimmt vorteilhaft.
My conscience is defective as I mentioned. The part that tells me in the moment that something is wrong functions. Let's call that part judgement. The part that nags others after the fact is simply missing in me. I sometimes reflect on my misdeeds but I simply experience no guilt. In fact, the dirtier the deed is the more humour I find in it.
Conscience, I agree, is very important. It regulates your behaviours. Why would I want others to think, feel and operate like me? That could be dangerous. -
It sounds like you know all the benefits of being a sociopath, but have you ever wondered what you're missing out on? The lack of a conscience and lack of guilt can come in handy, but along with the territory comes a lack of love. Does it ever bother you that you can't feel the emotion of love? Or do you think love is just a lie made up by the rest of the population to make sociopaths feel bad?
If medical science gave you an opportunity to acquire a conscience, sense of moral responsibility but also the ability to fall in love would you take it? -
While I understand that there is Love between others, I do Not think it is something made up to mak sociopaths feel bad. First that is impossible We do Not feel bad. From personal experience it is wearying to me pretending to be normal. I can so relate to the scene in Dexter where he is at a funeral... and is complaining How Much he hates them because he does Not know How to act. I have so been there, and hen I first saw that scene a Giggle escaped my lips..then I stopped giggling since I was with My wife. The paralyzing question On My Mind was..." is laughing in this scene appropriate? Ah she also smiled... I am safe." Would I take a pill that would cuse me of my condition because it means I can fall in Love? I do Not Know... Fish can't see water, since they do not know anything else. All I have known all My life is what I know..Love for others is an alien concept, I know more about einstein's time contracton equations than I Know about love for other people. It would be nice to NOT have to fake what I am feeling from time to time though... it can be very draining to have to act 24/7/365 so I look Like everyone else. -
If i could take a pill to feel emotion, conscience, and a sense of moral, are you serious? look around you, people spend millions of dollars in meds trying not to feel those things. If people had no conscience or love there would be no depression. If people had no fear, there would be no anxiety. People envy us, so what if I I can't put my life on hold to experience and embrace some rush of chemical reactions...Honestly there is no benefit from feeling deeply, it is only a distraction from life. Just because we aren't diluted by emotion, doesn't mean we can't have respectful exchange of resources. I don't understand this concept. I have treated many girlfriends way better not having the emotion of love be there than many who have it, yet somehow it is immoral because I am just going through the motions? If I treat you better, does it really matter how I actually feel? Empaths you are an inferior species, and if the times were different you would be all taken out by us sociopaths/psychopaths. -
I never wonder. The stuff I am missing out on I pejoratively describe as mushy emotional stuff. A person who was born blind can't miss seeing. He never knew what it was. A person who has never experienced empathy (the precursor to love) can't miss it. I can only speculate about what it is but the sum of all my experiences has given me no deeper insight into it other than what we could call a textbook understanding.
If there were some miracle medical cure to give me a conscience, let me experience empathy, to experience love, I would not want it. I like who I am.
I am not one of these sorry sods who come on here trying to elicit pity or sympathy for their supposed condition. It begs the question if that's truly their problem.
I think the better question is why wouldn't you want to be like me? Free in all the ways that you are not? Uninhibited behaviour? Never having sleepless nights. Not a care in the world outside of one's immediate needs. It's divine. -
I recently became involved with a sociopath. He found me. I tried to get away. I told him from the beginning I did not trust him, and wanted nothing to do with me. But he got me eventually with his pity stories. Yes, I am vulnerable, insecure, and emotional. I was a perfect person to be a so-called "victim." I agree with sociopaths that the majority of empaths are whiny pansies. I would give that up in a heartbeat. I envy the lack of emotions. Most of my life I have attempted to live independent and as emotionless as possible, but he saw through it. Thing is, I'm so insecure and vulnerable due to being not just emotional , but aslo analytical. I think too much. I do not always give in to my feelings. What has saved me so far from being completely taken advantage of is I became quickly aware of who he was. I generally can read someone well. I couldn't understand why this person was interested in me so obssessively, until I began seeing patterns in his behavor. I don't blame you for not wanted to experience emotions. It only gets in the way of true desires/goals. There has been so many things I have wanted out of life, which have been thrown to the sidelines due to my emotional insecurities. I would love to feel the pure freedom of the mind as you do. I know I should run away from my sociopath. I don't even love him. I don't think I ever did, but my ego did. Most empaths are oblivious to the fact that they don't really love their "abusers" either. Just like a sociopath, they are trying to fill a need, but due to their unfortunate ability for emotions, have a hard time deciphering what is the correct path to take. But while I do not love him, or truly get off sexually from him, I find him so fascinating... I'm obssessed. I enjoy going along with things he says, and then switching things up on him when he leasts expects it. I give a little, and then take it away. I want to be around him all the time, but do not trust him to leave myself too open to him. I enjoy his game. Not once have I told him that I know all the truths to everything he has lied about. Sometimes I hint I understand him more than he knows, but I don't want to "scare" him away, or lose a use for him. He is a waste of my time, but in some way I am getting the same sadistic pleasure he does. I don't know why I'm sharing this. I certainly do not want my family and friends to know. I do not believe in God, but perhaps he is the closest thing to an immortal I will ever know. -
I cannot speak from personal experience as for why you might want to experience a an emotional connection to tohers around you. But.. I have been reading " The sociopath next door , By Dr Martha Stout. And she does try to make a good case for how fulfilling and enriching it is to have loving relationships... to experience the ups and downs of other people's lives and to feel what they feel when they feel it. Is it a real emotion, and is it beneficial? it soulds beneficial to me. But.... I cannot relate to the experience when described to me. you can write out the Music of a sonata for a deaf prson, they will never know what it means to hear it. describe a rainbow to the blind... same thing... On the one hand we see not being limited as a good thing...but I have to admit..I am curious about this love thing... Just not sure if it is worth saddling myself with that " still small voiuce"1 more reply
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It would be interesting to be like you and if I were given an opportunity to be a sociopath for a year without any dire consequences I would try it out. It would be nice not to have a conscience tying me down for once and no worries about how other people feel. But even as I say this my conscience is telling me what a bad decision this would be. I think sociopaths and non-sociopaths will never agree on this point. I can see now first-hand that a conscience is a huge divider between those who have it and those who don't. It seems to be a far bigger divider than race, class, gender, money, etc.
From what I've seen of sociopaths many are not only uninterested in experiencing love or a conscience but are contemptuous of it. Sociopaths aren't really objective about love, instead they look down upon it. The opposite of love is apathy and you seem to be anything but apathetic about love. -
Sooner or later it will come crashing down on you as it has on me. Then you'll realize what a mess you've caused.
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Don't get caught is the motto but don't you experience any joy in your own demise like I do? Half the fun of getting into ****, is stewing in it.
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It is amazing how the sociopathic mind has so little ob
jectivity. I hear that one of the problems that sociopaths have is the inability to consider the consequences of their actions. If you can't think about the potential pitfalls of your actions then you're doomed to repeat your mistakes again and again. Sociopaths are like the proverbial genius without wisdom. Maybe you enjoy being sadistic and trying to dominate other people, but what does this get you in the end--even the pleasure of hurting others is only temporary. Your victims eventually become disgusted with you and leave (or escape). Then you find a new victim and the cycle goes on endlessly and pointlessly. It all seems like a waste of time. The gratifications are temporary and your satisfaction will never be lasting. Why not channel that energy towards something that will give greater satisfaction in the end? Like doing scientific research, making money in business, writing a great novel, etc. Why waste so much time and energy manipulating and dominating others? I suppose if you can do it on a large scale like a cult leader or dictator of a nation, heck there might be some entertainment and sense of achievement in that, but if you're small potatoes like most sociopaths, working so hard to torment your little circle of family and friends is a waste of time and energy... -
If you can't think about the potential pitfalls of your actions then you're doomed to repeat your mistakes again and again:: we do consider them, it's just in a different way. i know that if i kill someone and am caught, i will go to jail. but my mind cannot really grasp that it is real. But the next time i kill someone, i will remember that the last time, someone took my freedom for it. and i will either do it differently (cover it up) or refrain from doing it at all. This works on a small scale too. As you asked later, why waste so much time manipulating others? usually sociopaths don't just go around messing up people for fun. they have a reason- a selfish one, but a reason. This guy sounds more like a sadist-- he said that he smiles at stories of people being hurt? Lacking empathy means that if he heard a story, he would have no idea what the people in it are feeling. he could assume that they are sad or injured, but his mind could not make the connection between the story and the emotions. the only thing he would get out of the story would be boredom, possibly annoyance that he has to listen to it. -
"Why waste so much time and energy manipulating and dominating others?" Because it's fun. "I suppose if you can do it on a large scale like a cult leader or dictator of a nation, heck there might be some entertainment and sense of achievement in that," Because that would be hard work.
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couloir is correct. And you will make a mess of it and regret it. I do.
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From what I've read sociopaths can come in many varieties. On the low range of the scale are the 'common' sociopaths, chiefly characterized by a lack of conscience. Towards the more extreme end are serial killers, like Ted Bundy, who murdered scores of women.
I wonder about prominent people that commit serious white-collar crimes, like Kenneth Lay, the CEO of Enron. He had earned a PhD in economics, risen to the position of CEO and then robbed his employees of millions. He doesn't seem to exhibit some of the typical sociopathic traits, like impulsiveness or lack of realistic long term goals but he does exhibit a complete lack of conscience. Other political leaders behave in similar ways, like **** Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld, but I'm thoroughly convinced they are sociopaths nonetheless. I suppose that age and physical vitality determines whether you're a violent sociopath or not. A less physically confrontational sociopath may prefer to watch from a safe distance (eg, powerful political leaders) as they mastermind senseless wars and genocides.
A lack of physical aggressivness may be the distinction between socipaths and psychopaths, like Ted Bundy. A sociopath is aware of the consequences of his actions and worries, while a psychopath does not. And maybe some sociopaths are created through social forces, while others are genetically born that way. Regardless there is probably some kind of genetic predisposition towards sociopathy that manifests in an otherwise normal person if the environmental conditions are "just right". This leads to another question--what are the social forces creating sociopathy and can we or should we control those social forces that generate sociopathic behavior? It could very well be that some sociopathic behavior may be necessary for the survival of the species. It could even be that sociopaths are a biological necessity--putting their tendency towards remorselessness and unconscionable behavior into the human gene pool... -
For those who might not have realised it, sociopaths are as much a danger to other sociopaths as they are to non-sociopaths. Being a sociopath affords one no advantage in recognising them and it's just as difficult for one such to identify them. The condition also affords one no protection against the manipulation of others. I must also be on guard against them! The dangerous nature of these people is why I thoroughly hate anti-social individuals. I don't like them around me and I try not to harbour their company. Besides, there should only be one person in the spotlight ;-)
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lol... good one... have to remember that one. Only enough attention In the room for you huh? :P
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To the other posters who have pointed out that I will eventually make a mess of things and regret it:
Haven't you been paying attention? I regret not a single thing I have done in my life. I regret nothing that I have done to others. I regret nothing that I have done to myself.
I enjoy the suffering of others as much as (or maybe a little more than) I enjoy my own. -
hmmm... regret is different from remorse. You hit someone over the head with a brick, are caught... and are sentenced to 6 months In prison... you regret your lack of freedom. You have zero remorse but you might feel some regret. Regret is when you suffer inconvenience or hardship as a consequence of actions taken. Remorse is, when you can relate to the feelings your actions have caused In another, understand they are bad, and feel that you shoul;d Not have done what caused those negative emotions... even if you got away with it, unseen and unpunished. You feel Misgivings because of your acts. I will say this.. I do Not kill people because I feel I would get caught. That is regret, and I believe if you got caught and were Imprisoned for something you Might also feel regret,... Remorse = " I am sorry for what I did to you, because of what it did to you... and because of what pain it caused." Regret+ " I am sorry.... that I got caught"
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I guess that's where we differ. I regret what I've done and the pain I've caused.
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Sociopaths are a threat to just about anybody, but I don't think sociopaths are as susceptible to being taken advantage of by other sociopaths. It takes one to know one. When a sociopath realizes that the other person they're dealing with is a sociopath, they just up and move on to a better victim. Since sociopaths are predatory, it makes no sense for one predator to stalk another--it could happen but better pickings are among the honest and conscience-laden people of the world. Still, after having having gotten to know 2 sociopaths I've learned my lesson and actively try to identify and steer clear of sociopaths in general. I'm most wary of sociopath bosses, since they can exert so much control over you and make your life miserable...
There are pros and cons to being a sociopath, just as there are pros and cons to being a person with a conscience. But seriously, it sucks to miss out on the experience of love. And it sucks to contribute nothing to humanity and to be a social parasite. -
if I met another sociopath and recognized them as such, I would break off the relationship as quickly as Possible. One of the things we do is manipulate others emotionally... through pity or guilt, we try to ake others feel responsable for our hardships so they feel they owe us... and trust me, that is impossible to do with another sociopath, a complete waste of time.... even if she looks Like Jenna Jameson... there are Lower hangin fruit that look Just as good elsewhere.
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A sociopath plays on the emotions and empathy of their victims - that's what makes it so devastating for their victims! They feel PERSONALLY betrayed. This obviously wouldn't work with another sociopath. They might be able to trick them or manipulate them, but they can't get the emotional HOOK into them that a sociopath gets. That's why they use the pity ploy so often - because it works on NICE people. There's also a long-term payoff when they can string someone along, with promises of reciprocation, like love, money, and commitment, which never quite materialize. It's classic grifter/con artist stuff, and some sociopaths are very good at it. It's not always criminal, but often unethical. Look at the guys who played us for suckers on Wall St.! They haven't arrested ONE person responsible for the mortgage debacle, because gambling with other people's mortgages by turning them into derivatives was a scam no one had thought of yet, so no one thought to make it illegal. They did it because they could make money that way, but it was completely irresponsible for them to risk other people's money the way they did. They betrayed the public trust for their own greed. Sounds sociopathic to me!
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Bingo!
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Still, had you a conscience and sense of guilt, you are far less likely to lose him because (1) you wouldn't get bored with him, (2) would look at him like a human being and not an ob
ject and (3) would no longer be lacking anything in your relationship. But some people are gluttons for punishment and maybe he prefers being with a sociopath... -
why benefit do you have from telling this story, then? i've been trying to find a real sociopath for years... doing research. what's your benefit in this? i'd be interested in asking you questions some time.
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i suppose my first question is whether you are able to identify another sociopath. if so, how long must you be around the person in question until you know? or is it instinctual?
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it is Not Instinctual, but it should No take long ... the moment I try to elicit pity or guilt, and I fail to do so... it tells me something is different with this one... I am good at it, so if I am failing either their defenses are very high...or .. they are sociopaths. If they try to do the same with me... then that becomes a red flag. I guess that technically there MIGHT be some benefit for a sociopath to try and fake another out, by pretending to be a " normal" but..then again... why waste time when normals are easier to control?
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@cheerupemochic,
In the text there is an explanation of why I have written my experience here.
Can I identify a sociopath? Only with difficulty. They're quite elusive actually. The only diagnosis I am qualified to make is a self-diagnosis. I do know that there are certain people who leave me unfulfilled. I do not enjoy being around them for the reason that there is nothing to extract. The parasites are easiest to pick up and I avoid them. If there is nothing to be gained by interacting with you then I simply won't. This, I suppose, shields me to some extent from the vermin since they leech and usually have nothing much to contribute. How long must I be around a person? I don't spend much time with people who are of no use to me.
If you're looking for "real sociopaths," why not visit a prison? They're behind bars and it's safer that way. Then again, if you're not totally isolated I'm sure there are a few in your area who'd kill to get to know you. -
gewissenlos, did you ever see "The Silence of the Lambs" or read any of Thomas Harris's books? Do you identify with Hannibal Lecter?
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gewissenlos: Thanks for your fast reply. It intrigues me that you say there is nothing to "extract" from them. What do you mean to "extract" from others, then? I think you hit the nail on the head. The main goal is to "extract". I am going to assume what you mean to extract is beyond just power over another person. Do you suppose it is like a "taste of humanity" then, that you mean to extract? That opens up new possibilities. I say this, because you cannot "extract" anything from a sociopath, who is only another "extractor". Taking seems the main ob
jective. Why do you think that is? Back to my "taste of humanity" theory... Your thoughts on this? -
@couloir, Silence of the Lambs was great although I was just a boy when I saw it. Hannibal Lecter, the cannibal? No, I don't identify with that one but then again I've never tried eating human flesh not that I would refuse if it were cooked properly and presented to me. I have not read any of Thomas Harris' books. Where are you going with this?
@cheerupemochic, all that you said sounds fine. I wouldn't bother to disagree with the finer points. Why do I extract? Simply to fulfil a need or a want. If I needed money, I would extract that. I don't. I enjoy adoration so I try to cultivate in others a kind of reverence of me. The point is that people are only valuable for what they have to offer. People keep "friends" for the sake of being friends. You get along. You communicate well. You're there for each other. The things that make up a friendship I have no need for. The friend for me is simply someone who continues to provide something I need or want. -
gewissenlos, I'm not going anywhere with it. Just asking out of curiosity. From what I know most sociopaths aren't violent and don't go out killing people, but some do end up doing just that. Have you ever had any urges to kill people? Or torture them? Would you ever kill someone? When you get angry do you ever 'lose control', like hit someone without thinking or are you always in control of your actions?
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i think when psychopaths (a step up from sociopaths), it is from being sadistically abused as children. Sociopathy is a brain dysfunction people are born with. You mix that with environment and upbringing, and you can end up with nastier things.
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Here's how I see it: Each and every one of you has the potential to kill. You might even do it. The only thing that sets remorseless individuals apart is that they won't feel bad after. The remorseless individual might very well be indifferent to the act. All this honesty is making me feel queazy. Killing and urges to kill is something that simply shouldn't be discussed here. I am a normal guy. I get upset and "act out" but then I always return to my unagitated state not long after this "acting out." I try not to "act out" where many witnesses will see my loss of control. You seem to have a morbid curiosity Couloir.
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gewissenlos, that is not much different from average humanity, then. I would like to see even the most empathetic person disagree with this statement: the truth about empathy and love, the real truth, is that love isn't about the other person. it's about how they make you feel about yourself.
Actually, just be aware that when two people start feeling attracted to each other, it's never about the other person; it's how that person feels about himself/herself when around the other. What that means is, contrary to public perception, it's not the clothes you wear, the skin you show, or how interesting you are. If you make a person feel intelligent, important, attractive, interesting, funny, etc. around you, he'll seek you out and want to be around you. It's just that simple. Friendship and love in general, sadly, are NOT about the other person. Bottom line is, it's how they make you feel about yourself.
Therefore, still, I do not see MUCH of a difference between average "empathetic" people, and sociopaths. It's simply the degree or extent to which "it" (whatever IT is) is desired, what the "IT" is, for what purpose, and Ultimately: if they are willing to give in return, or grow attached and feel a need to reciprocate -- a thin line between free "giving" of care, and the definition of guilt of receipt... is to give back. So it would be safe to say under those speculations that the only clear-cut definition I can come up with for any difference, is guilt, or the lack thereof.
And I would tend to agree with you. There is a capacity we all have to kill, given the circumstances. The division roots back to, again, guilt, or perhaps even pity. I don't believe "pity" would be in the emotional makeup of a sociopath either. Then again, a lot of "us" only have that to a certain degree. Which only proves my point further: there are no clear-cut definitions or boundaries in humanity, only an inter-mingling spectrum of characteristics. Simply put, any given person may or may not have these characteristics, but a sum of the "negatives" may make up a less empathetic person -- the Anti-Social Personality.
Having said all that, it only deepens the confusion. I wish people were logical creatures to be logically explained and understood, but sadly, we are not. Fair to say that humanity is an art, until it becomes a science we can explain, if that ever happens... Wish I had a conclusion to this tirade... I suppose I'll hunt for it forever. :-) ...Until, and if ever, I can find a formula, that is. For this, I fear I would need a mind greater than my own... I am beginning to suspect that Psychology is like religion: when people cannot explain something, they seek to explain it within their own reasoning, therefore labeling these characteristics of the human spectrum and later categorizing them into definitions such as: Sociopath. Perhaps Psychology is our new religion?
Even the need to make another feel wanted or appreciated can be explained as a selfish act: You, the giver, has a need for that person, therefore you give to appease. When that need evaporates, either attachment and care (love) replace it, or not. Humanity is a selfish species, like any other, or perhaps more so. In the end, we are still only intelligent animals. The only difference is, we seek to understand and to gain knowledge of the world that surrounds us.
That said, I still do not see how Sociopaths interweave with Psychopaths. I still believe they are far different from each other, if only for the fact that sociopathic qualities belong to all of us, whilst Psychopathic tendencies are far more advanced and lacking. I've seen a large margin of intelligent people with sociopathic qualities. It's typical for a sociopath to be intelligent, rather than not. However, many psychopaths lack basic intelligence, though this isn't a factor as it seems to be for the sociopath. Again, the only things I can see that separates us all in the end, are guilt, remorse, and empathy. -
My only other question, if you're inclined to answer it, I've saved for last: You dislike yourself. Why?
If I can offer some speculation: For your limitations of being a human being (I've heard this before), for your lack of humanity, or something different entirely? -
@cheerupemochic,
I suppose you are correct to an extent. We enjoy how other people make us feel and this makes us want to keep them around in relationships. There is an important difference: When your lover or partner is down, sad or angry for whatever reason then it transfers to you and you wonder why your partner feels that way. With me it simply does not happen. It's not that I don't care about what this person has to say but I simply can't feel it. I have tried and in the midst of break-ups or other emotional crises, I often wonder why I am unable to feel what my girlfriend of the time is feeling. I often wonder why she picks such a late hour to announce these things when I want to sleep. I sometimes do make the mistake of falling asleep while she's pouring her heart out. (Falling asleep while somebody is doing the emotional thing is a bad idea. They will resort to violence when you do that and they think I'm the bad guy!)
So, to reiterate: This ability to feel bad when the person feels bad is the "empathy" part that I am missing. Real people and not just cardboard cutouts like me enjoy helping their partners through tough times because they feel as if they are one. Unfortunately for me I won't know what this. I just marvel at it when I recognise that it's taking place. I really don't know how it works and I am a bit curious about how others share in each other's suffering and pain. I sometimes wonder.
Do I like myself or dislike myself? It's a little tough to answer. I stated in my story that I love who I am. It's somewhat true. I get bouts of depression from time to time. It's not so much that I hate myself but that I hate that I am unable to live up to how I imagine myself. I think my current station in life is pathetic and beneath where I really ought to be. I have the feeling that I will die just as pathetic as I am now. As it stands, I am not living a bad life but I want so much more. My reasons for disliking myself have nothing to do with other people or how they perceive me. -
Yes, I have some curiosity about killers, especially those that are deranged. I don't consider myself sociopathic because I do feel remorse after doing something harmful, but I don't mind seeing a sadistic killer be killed in the way he had killed his victims. In fact it wouldn't be bad to watch. Even people with empathy can put that aside given the right circumstances, like Romans at the Colosseum watching prisoners getting ripped apart by animals. Especially in cases where it's justified, like in the case of a psychopathic killer, I believe it would be better to revoke the 8th amendment about gov't not inflicting "cruel and unusual punishment" on felons. Islamic law is much better in this case--"an eye for an eye" is the best way to punish the worst offenders of society. And I wouldn't mind buying a ticket to watch the show.
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Hi, New to Experiance Project ( my first post) and only recently aquinted with the concept of sociopathic behavior. Wish I had known about this condition years ago.
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Hi, New to Experiance Project ( my first post) and only recently aquinted with the concept of sociopathic behavior. Wish I had known about this condition years ago.
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I wish I had known about it sooner as well. It would have saved a lot of people a lot of heartache
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