I Am A Sociopath - A Coming Out Story.

Coming out as a sociopath can be akin to coming out as gay to a family full of hard core Christians. There is a lot of stigma attached to being a sociopath. So why do it? As a sociopath you would think I would be more about self preservation.

Well this in a sense is self preservation. Pretending I care is starting to get on my nerves. I want to be able to say it how I think it. I don't want to sit through 30 minutes of your 'my kid is so wonderful I love him so much, here look at this pictures' story. I want to tell you that I don't care. I don't want to go through 5 minutes of how are you greetings. I don't want you to tell me something bad that happened to you. Unless you want me to build you a flame thrower I can't help you with your exhusband who is such a douche bag. I am actually more likely to understand him. All this emotion makes you look like a crazy annoying little girl.

You ask why am I so angry. The truth is I am not. I just find you annoying. You were fun for the first few times we hung out. I am over it now. Yes I am only interested in you while you can provide me with something. This something could be entertainment. It doesn't have to be something material. I am not a horrible person, I just don't care. I have nothing against you, but I also have nothing for you. I will use you if you let me.

I am at a point in my life where fooling people has become to easy. I don't even have to put any effort into it. So it has lost it's entertainment value. I want to try being me for a while. I don't expect you to get it. I am just creating a challenge for myself so I can be entertained.
CoiledSnake CoiledSnake
31-35, F
9 Responses Jan 8, 2013

So you don't feel any love or feelings of friendship towards anybody? No family members or friends?

I feel respect and like. I can maintain friendships and relationships for a long time. It just doesn't bother me when it ends. When I remember the good times I smile, but I don't feel an overwhelming tear up. There are 8 billion people in the world after all. I am a bit annoyed at times that in order to maintain friendship relationships I can't be honest because people are too fragile and emotional and it all will come cascading out if I say the wrong thing. I have been however practicing being honest and politicly correct and nice at the same time. I think it is more tiring than lying and it only confuses people.

Tbh I am envious of you, I wish I had no emotions.

Although I am glad I have no emotions, I really don't know if it is the best option for everyone. I think maybe people need to deal with their emotions better however, like say recognizing that the response you are having is an emotional response and trying to take a minute to think about things logically.

Ok I have some emotions, muted as they maybe, I get angry, annoyed, excited, curious, obsessed, satisfied, glad and bored. I like and dislike things. I just don't get as invested in things long term as most people.

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Why the challenge for yourself when u know who u are

Who I am and wanting to improve skills or learn new things are one and the same.

Improvement means still lacking and that is the pain that is causing u

Yes you tell that to every adult and child who ever went to school, which is the part you have skipped.

"I will use you if you let me" he says..

Try be yourself. It has taken me months to 'find myself' but I know it's all an act for people to like me so I can have control, I've considered changing but I found I am really liked by people without manipulating them, I'm rude but straight forward about everything and people like me? I think I'm sticking to it till I finish this year of college and change course there I will go back to my other way because I've found with this mask I don't bring out secrets from people or their trust, I don't have as much control as I want and it's really frustrating. But here is what I'm like in my mask: loud, happy, funny, laughing a lot, straight forward, rude which I know is me being honest people just think I'm rude, and I pretend I don't care about people. It worked for 7-8 months but is frustrating now. Good luck.

I am at the exact same point. Wearing the mask is beginning to bore me, but I'm not prepared to go to prison just yet. Boredom tends to make me reckless, so I fervently avoid it. Good luck in your search, and if you find a particularly pleasurable outlet, please share.

I find creative stuff helps, example today it's abstract art, last week counterfeiting... I know but don't care really I didn't use them for the police monitoring this website and I don't plan to. But another thing was graffiti for years I was fascinated and I went from 'toy' to a 'king' just to prove I was better than this guy at my school then I stopped, you can find the meanings of 'toy' and 'king anywhere just type " toy and king meaning in graff" don't type graffiti as usually people who don't understand it answer it. I am also a pyromaniac so fire is good aswell , it's so interesting!

you seem to have a bit in common with me but i am schizophrenic so my paranoia does wonders for my level of insanity thank you for the post it was....moving

You were moving yourself. A relatively social media friendly paranoid schizophrenic, who posts in a sociopath thread? The world just became a shade brighter.. or stupid. Tell me, am I hacking your pc right now? Or am I a figment of your limited imagination?

I'd go with the latter since I hav an iPod not a pc

Maybe you should try to look for a nice tree to hang yourself from

Good to know that stupidity isn't limited to.. you know religion and valentine's day n stuff. :) Morons roam free even in intelligent threads. :D Please do tell me, how should I end my miserable life wherein I laugh and enjoy everyday and can feel no pain or suffering. At least, I can forget my 'evilness' and reduce my being to useless, incompetent shell of vague emotions.. oh wait, that's u guys. :D I have near photographic memory and a superior I.Q. Man, I hate the world :( - If only I could manipulate it to my will. Oh wait.. again..

Please just hang yourself. You sound like a babbling idiot. We have to many idiots in this world right now. Do us a favor and take the easy way out

To me you really come off as a attention seeking *****. All these other idiots giving you advice are eating this garbage up. Just shut up.

Ooh so angry. Delicious.

Did you vote yes on the death penalty?

Heehee. You are one of those guys aren't u? :) The losers who go to support groups and online forums and try to tell people with unstable minds "it's better to end it". Too bad you can't seem to come up with more diabolical arguments than repeating the mantra "please hang yourself". :D Oooh.. ooh.. try changing it to "please slit your wrists". :))))

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Believe it or not, it's not uncommon to not give a blip about those annoyances you listed. Label yourself what you may. Empathy or lack thereof has a scale, so you find yourself at the lower end. Admittedly, you could care less. What happens when there's nobody left in which to play? Your attitude is refreshing and find it saves us both energy if joining for a drink. I don't care about the minutia of your life anymore than I care about the minutia in mine. Find intellectually charged individuals, you'll probably be more satisfied with the conversations. Work relations pay the bills. Good reason to be nice & play along. Thrash the morons here. I was entertained by the visual of your flame thrower. I hate the verbal masturbations others insist on grinding on me. The least they could do is make it mutually satisfying.

Hi, I hate greeting every people around, I can't say more than two phrases to my neighbor or anyone in a waitnig room... I understand you.
being Christian is a personnal conviction, you're not forced to waste your time at social hypocrysy conventions, you're not forced to do something what you're not good for. You're maybe someone who easily work when alone, you might be someone with a great heart but can't do something by pressure. Just be yourself and make them understand it's not you don't like them, just smile.