It's A Love/hate Relationship, Isn't It...

I love how we always know what's coming, but we never really care enough to rub it in people's faces. Or how when **** hits the fan, we don't trip balls, we have a steady head and can get out of **** no problems. I hate expecting the worst, because it usually ends up happening but at least it saved me disappointment, right? But for the times we are given complete control, we relish the opportunity and perfectionnize our plan to go the best way possible. I feel like we have some sort of sixth sense for people, seeing through their soul by their eyes. I know this is a transitional phase in my hopefully eventual happy life and that these times of insanity are simply a test a character, because we know we have the capability, maybe even the desire at times to do something so horrible just to feel as though you finally got one up on these ******* pawns, but no, we must soldier on and fight the unrelenting wave. I've struggled finding the word for what I am but I truly feel at home here. It's a shame I cant't run into you all at some point in my life.