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Bubble Suburbia

I live in a very quiet, wealthy town where everyone is bored, the parents do more drugs than the kids, and everyone is so into themselves that I've been able to get away with a hell of a lot because I'm an 18 year old girl who pretends to blend in.

I thought of a way to describe the people I go to school with every day: predictably annoying. I have very accurate guesses of what I think a person will say or do next, and it's kind of become a game of mine. Then, to change things a bit, I pull moves to disrupt their patterns, kind of like a game of chess.

I only realized a month ago that I have major symptoms of being a sociopath. I felt like I was evil, or crazy, and wondered if this was what the one kid who went crazy, murdered, and raped his sister, was thinking before it all happened.

One day, a girl who tries very hard to be accepted, hasn't even had her first kiss yet, and has a mother who will never tells her good job, started talking to me about how she hung out with my best friend and how close they are. I didn't buy that... I'm not an idiot, so I responded, "oh, so I guess she told you her big secret, didn't she?" and this poor girl played along for a long conversation I had. My best friend didn't have a big secret. Then, as I left, I said, "either I'm getting taller, or your shrinking!" That was a hit to her childhood where I remember her crazy mother saying she would never be successful because she is so short. It's subtleties like that, that don't get a major reaction, that I know hurt the most, that make me so damn happy.
allsowasted allsowasted 18-21, F Jan 16, 2013

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