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I'm Different.

since a small age I have always known I was different, iv much preferred to watch the way people interact with one another then talking about barbies. Around the same time I realized that I was different was the time I had started lying, I would craft complex lies to get out of the smallest situations, but they were ales believable. I take great pride in knowing that I can fool somebody so easily.

I remember the day I convinced my entire class to vote exactly how I wanted then do in an upcoming school election. nothing feels better then knowing you have a great influence on people.

my mother has told me I'm a cold uncaring person. she knows my true self. but no body else does. to everyone else I'm bright and cheerful. the truth is, I'm not. I don't want to form a relationship with you, I don't care about your problems. I'm going to use you. and you'll never see it coming.
iiampsycho iiampsycho 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 23, 2013

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Have you seen Dexter? Is it accurate do you think?

you should be ashamed of your self. that's a tv show, not real life, that's a drama series, not documented fact. it's accuracy is based on expert advise, to a point, then dramatised for television. you want accurate you sit down and watch an interview of someone with actual ASPD.

It was a question not a statement.

Also are you saying no?

Well if your going to tell people you're going to use them, then they're going to be on the gaurd, don't tell people that, because then you'll never win, idc how good your lies are. When you tell me you've lied to yourself and you've believed them as well. then MAYBE you could pull that one, but if you're going to do it don't cut yourself short.

I never felt different, I wondered why others weren't normal like me

I always felt like the people my age were too emotional.

yeah I saw them like that, as "over reacting" but it wasn't just the emotional bullshit i thought was odd, everything I perceived to be normal, that is frowned on by "them" they frowned on what I found funny, they had different "hobbies" they lived "restrained" I was free in my action, they were binding themselves with what I now know is simply "good morals" and "social conduct" but as a kid and teen I had no understanding of their concept of me, and why I was "wrong" and they were 'right"

now I don't care, they can't lock me up for my thoughts, not until they're backed with intentions. I say what I want, I do as I want. I go where I want, I stay where I want. beaten someone to a pulp and eating an apple have the same emotional affect on me. none. people aren't way to emotional, I just have a lump of dead brain where my emotions should be stored.

how is it like forming relationships? because I can't form them unless I can get somthing out of it.

I don't form a relationship unless like you, it is going to give me something i want...and really that just comes down to how well you can play people....how believable you are....only time I do this is for material or financial gain, I do not have family bonds, nor need a partner....sex is freely available and i don't see the point in having a "cover life" as some here claim to do. learn about the people you need to fool, and become the person they want to give to.

that's exactly what I do. I conform myself to whatever people want to see me as. if someone wants the party girl, i will give them the party girl. they want innocent? I'll give them it. I will do anything to get what I need out of them. wether it's sexual pleasure or otherwise

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