What causes a Person to become Narcissistic or Sociopathic? Are we born this way or made?

Like Homosexuality, Gay people claim they were born that way. While some Heterosexuals insist it is a choice or that something "Traumatic" happened to them in their childhood.

Same with us Sociopaths. While Psychopaths are seen more as "naturally" Insane and are more known about, the mystery of us Sociopaths is still quite a fickle one.

When I screw someone over...I don't feel sorry about it. Period! Because I lack a Conscience. I can lie, cheat and steal and sleep just fine at night...

Some Sociopaths and people filled with Narcissism are charming and the life of the party, some Charismatic and seductive, some mysterious and secretive. Some may compliment you a lot to get on your good side. Others may put you down and destroy your self worth. The Sociopath may do nice things and flatter someone with nice comments and shower them with love and affection. Or rob you in a parking lot at gun point while your walking to your car late at night. Either way, we Sociopaths have one thing in common...we lack any type of real Conscience.

We see people as objects to be used for sex, money or anything the Sociopath may fancy. We do have a "grandiose" sense of self, aka an unlimited amount of self confidence and may come off somewhat "tough." Or spiritually strong.

Now I have not come out to my friends and family about my evil ways or the fact I am a Sociopath, and probably never will. And if they ever did find out it would be over my dead body.

But when the topic comes up in conversations, many normal people who are Empathetic have told me that we seem somewhat scary, that they are not sure what the Sociopath will do next or to them. In a sense, they said it is like us Sociopaths dont think people are "real"..... with real emotions and feelings and they do not understand why "normal" people display emotions, such as crying or sympathy or kindness.

They said they think us Sociopaths see crying as a weakness. To normal people we may seem like the biggest "A**holes or B*tches" they've ever met...this is probably true.

Now, what causes a person to become Narcissistic or Sociopathic? Are we born this way through family genes?, does Society create us? I don't know why I was "born this way" As Lady Gaga would say...

These are just some of my theories...

Theory 1) Possible abuse sexual/physical or neglect may be the cause in a Sociopaths case. They could have most likely been hurt badly and left alone to deal with it BY THEMSELVES at a young age and no one comforted them. Leaving them to feel as if no one cared. So in return, the Sociopath stopped caring. They could have spent life growing up in dozens of foster or group homes till the age of eighteen, being released into society as hard, jaded and cold. And already being used to adapting and "blending" in with people from different walks of life.

I came from wealthy parents who despite their wealth...neglected me. This may be the cause for me.

Also since the Sociopath has no empathy this may be why we are sort of like a Predator to others. And we must keep ourselves alive, using people for the things we need. We can be and are extremely good at acting like we care. We are used to taking care of ourselves, yet at the cost of other people.

We are extremely self centered and somewhat Narcissistic (although Narcissistic Personality Disorder is VERY different from a sociopath)

This may be another reason as to why we seem like very strong people but in reality we are just lacking many normal human emotions. We Sociopaths use and abuse others because we don't care about people. At all! This is stating the obvious.

(Theory 2) In my studies and research of these Disorders and of Sociopaths in general. Female and male Sociopaths' fathers and mothers are Sociopaths as well much of the time or have Sociopathic/ Psychopathic family members. Or blood relatives who carried some type of mental illness such as Schizophrenia, Bi-Polar or Borderline Personality Disorder. These Disorders may run in the family (maybe even from both sides) and may have skipped a generation or two yet for some reason it was set back into the childs genes/DNA and despite coming out of their mothers womb looking completely normal and healthy, it triggered their Sociopathic thinking process. This could be just a rare chemical imbalance of the brain. And since their is no known cure or effective medication for Sociopaths, we cannot change this imbalance.

(Theory 3) When it comes to the Sociopath and if the parents are Sociopaths as well, most likely the family will operate in a dysfunctional manner. For example: The Sociopathic father does not care about his child. He only see's them as tools, he may abuse drugs or Alcohol or run off with another younger woman... therefore divorcing the mother who is stuck raising the kids by herself. Resulting in the father abandoning or neglecting his role in the family, becoming mentally or verbally abusive towards them and so forth. Leaving the daughter to grow up without a father or male role model. She now might grow up letting men treat her badly as she see's this as "normal" or she may be promiscuous, mistaking casual sex as love. Or by adulthood she has come to hate ALL men...and insist that every man who crosses her path will "pay the price!"

Now, while the mother might be unfaithful to her husband if she is a Sociopath, she might look at her son and see the likes or image of her husband inside of him. Resulting in her growing to hate her very own child. Making the male child grow up hating woman in return.

Now, mostly all female Sociopaths like me, learn from and take after their fathers. Especially if the mother is "soft" or very caring, the female Sociopath daughter will take advantage of the mother or see her as weak and want to be just like her sociopathic father, seeking dominance and control. This Disorder can be genetic but is made permanent through environmental factors. My mother was a bimbo and only cared about herself and her it was a lot more easy to get away with doing bad things compared to all the other children.

Another thing to keep in mind. I have read that we female sociopaths "are not as violent as males, yet are more sneaky than them," This could not be true or more false. Female sociopaths can be extremely violent and aggressive. I know I can!

And having a career as a fulltime Nurse I have seen and witnessed some crazy things when dealing with patients who were diagnosed as Sociopaths. I have witnessed a female Sociopath threatening terrible things to another girl in a Psych ward I worked in once and almost beating her to death and cracking her head wide open with the things around her such as books and chairs. But all Sociopaths are dangerous, male or female. Everybody knows that. So it's not THAT surprising.

Yet men, Sociopathic or not, are seen as much more masculine and tougher and Macho in our society and this is why people mistake them to be more violent when it reality this is not the case all of the time. Either way, due to the no Conscience factor we Sociopaths are more capable of bloody murder than a normal empathetic individual. So.... If you know someone who is Diagnosed as a real functioning "Sociopath".....just stay away! It is not a Disorder that can be fixed. Period!

*Kei$ha Voice* WE ARE WHO WE ARE!!! :)

We do not feel guilty for the terrible things we do to people. We will say sorry but we don't mean it. I heard this saying "they know the words but not the song." We know exactly what to say but deep down we do not mean it.

Difference between Narcissists and Sociopaths:
Narcissist need people because they live off "Narcissistic supply" aka: needing constant attention, admiration and so forth. They will ignore people who give them attention and act Superior to those who are around them. Lots of Celebrities are Narcissists due to the fact people follow their every move and "worship" them. Such as Kenye West, Nicki Minaj, Paris Hilton, the ENTIRE Kardashian family and cast of the Jesery Shore, Tyra Banks, Niomi Campbell, Justin Beiber or Ashton Kutcher...just to name a few. They say they need their "privacy" and tell the Paparazzi they need their space yet it's only obvious that they love every minute of it. They also lack traits of empathy and have rather "cut throat" personalities. And only do things for others to make themselves look good in the public eye. And if the Narcissistic individual doesn't get enough attention they will find a million ways to get it somehow rather it be good publicity or bad. If not they can even become Depressed. Now a true Sociopath does not "need" people like a Narcissist. A Narcissist uses others for attention and power mainly when it comes to their image or careers. But the Sociopath uses others for personal gain and source supply, such as a roof over our heads and money. Or some sort of entertainment for our own personal amusement by destroying or shattering the hopes and dreams of our victim for fun. Which a Narcissist would find pointless or overly exhausting because they are too wrapped up within themselves. But us Sociopaths...we are like the Energizing Bunny who can keep going and going and going! We keep Destroying and Destroying and Destroying! :)
Porcelainfacedkiller Porcelainfacedkiller 22-25, F 6 Responses Sep 17, 2013

Your Response


God that does sound exhausting. I have respect for your dedication to your destruction. Me being a Narcissist I can agree with what you have typed, there is a deep underlying destruction to what I do. But it is not aimed at everything, and I can turn it off for certain people I care about more than everyone else. So I still have a large part of my conscience. If I ever meet a sociopath it will go like this, Learn, Avoid, or destroy depending on if they decide to try and **** my **** up in any given situation, or me them.

I believe the sociopath has failed to bond to another human being, and instead they bond to ideals, a physical landscape or even their own twisted reflection. This results in close intimate contact with other human beings feeling like an incursion onto the virgin soil of the sociopathic psyche-as the sociopath has no way to access or process emotion, joy may have the same violation profile as hatred (due to lack of negative reinforcement). So a part of the sociopath is always poised on the knife edge of FIGHT-FLIGHT-endless vigilance that exhausts and no respite, just an alternative state of being that the empathic and neurotypical will have to adapt to and learn to channel. Maybe we exists to do and experience things that would undo the softer more fragile souls of the empaths.

I have a daughter just like you and I guess my question is she's 7 months months pregnant will having a baby change her ! She's one crazy violent ***** and it's out of my control!!

I advice you to read my story about us female Sociopaths and sex.

How do I get it, did you write a book?

love your reasoning


Who cares about the WHY? All of the above and none of it, depends who you're asking and on any day the answers are different.
Enjoy the BEING and leave the WHY to the biographer (if you are lucky) or the courts (if you are not) (or both if ya really hit the jackpot)

Interesting read all the same.

Maybe the difference is that female sociopaths are more adept at EMOTIONAL violence, which is no different than physical violence, and in many cases can be much more injurious to the recipient.