What causes a Person to become Narcissistic or Sociopathic? Are we born this way or made?

Like Homosexuality, or even Transgender, people claim they were born that way. While some Heterosexuals insist it is a choice or that something "Traumatic" happened to them in their childhood.

Same with us Sociopaths. While Psychopaths are seen more as "naturally" Insane and are more known about, the mystery of us Sociopaths is still quite a fickle one.

Personally speaking, when I screw someone over...I don't feel sorry about it. Period! Because I lack a Conscience. I can lie, cheat and steal and sleep just fine at night...

Some Sociopaths and people filled with Narcissism are charming and the life of the party, some Charismatic and seductive, some mysterious and secretive. Some may compliment you a lot to get on your good side. Others may put you down and destroy your self worth. The Sociopath may do nice things and flatter someone with nice comments and shower them with love and affection. Or rob you in a parking lot at gun point while your walking to your car late at night. Either way, we Sociopaths have one thing in common...we lack any type of real Conscience.

We see people as objects to be used for sex, money or anything the Sociopath may fancy. We do have a "grandiose" sense of self, aka an unlimited amount of self confidence and may come off somewhat "tough." Or spiritually strong.

Now I have not come out to my friends and family about my evil ways or the fact I am a Sociopath, and probably never will. And if they ever did find out it would be over my dead body.

But when the topic comes up in conversations, many normal people who are Empathetic have told me that we seem somewhat scary, that they are not sure what the Sociopath will do next or to them. In a sense, they said it is like us Sociopaths dont think people are "real"..... with real emotions and feelings and they do not understand why "normal" people display emotions, such as crying or sympathy or kindness.

They said they think us Sociopaths see crying as a weakness. To normal people we may seem like the biggest "A**holes or B*tches" they've ever met...this is probably true.

Now, what causes a person to become Narcissistic or Sociopathic? Are we born this way through family genes?, does Society create us? I don't know why I was "born this way" As Lady Gaga would say...

These are just some of my theories...

Theory 1) Possible abuse sexual/physical or neglect may be the cause in a Sociopaths case. They could have most likely been hurt badly and left alone to deal with it BY THEMSELVES at a young age and no one comforted them. Leaving them to feel as if no one cared. So in return, the Sociopath stopped caring. They could have spent life growing up in dozens of foster or group homes till the age of eighteen, being released into society as hard, jaded and cold. And already being used to adapting and "blending" in with people from different walks of life.

I came from wealthy parents who despite their wealth...neglected me. This may be the cause for me.

Also since the Sociopath has no empathy this may be why we are sort of like a Predator to others. And we must keep ourselves alive, using people for the things we need. We can be and are extremely good at acting like we care. We are used to taking care of ourselves, yet at the cost of other people.

We are extremely self centered and somewhat Narcissistic (although Narcissistic Personality Disorder is VERY different from a sociopath)

This may be another reason as to why we seem like very strong people but in reality we are just lacking many normal human emotions. We Sociopaths use and abuse others because we don't care about people. At all! This is stating the obvious.

(Theory 2) In my studies and research of these Disorders and of Sociopaths in general. Female and male Sociopaths' fathers and mothers are Sociopaths as well much of the time or have Sociopathic/ Psychopathic family members. Or blood relatives who carried some type of mental illness such as Schizophrenia, Bi-Polar or Borderline Personality Disorder. These Disorders may run in the family (maybe even from both sides) and may have skipped a generation or two yet for some reason it was set back into the childs genes/DNA and despite coming out of their mothers womb looking completely normal and healthy, it triggered their Sociopathic thinking process. This could be just a rare chemical imbalance of the brain. And since their is no known cure or effective medication for Sociopaths, we cannot change this imbalance.

(Theory 3) When it comes to the Sociopath and if the parents are Sociopaths as well, most likely the family will operate in a dysfunctional manner. For example: The Sociopathic father does not care about his child. He only see's them as tools, he may abuse drugs or Alcohol or run off with another younger woman... therefore divorcing the mother who is stuck raising the kids by herself. Resulting in the father abandoning or neglecting his role in the family, becoming mentally or verbally abusive towards them and so forth. Leaving the daughter to grow up without a father or male role model. She now might grow up letting men treat her badly as she see's this as "normal" or she may be promiscuous, mistaking casual sex as love. Or by adulthood she has come to hate ALL men...and insist that every man who crosses her path will "pay the price!"

Now, while the mother might be unfaithful to her husband if she is a Sociopath, she might look at her son and see the likes or image of her husband inside of him. Resulting in her growing to hate her very own child. Making the male child grow up hating woman in return.

Now, mostly all female Sociopaths like me, learn from and take after their fathers. Especially if the mother is "soft" or very caring, the female Sociopath daughter will take advantage of the mother or see her as weak and want to be just like her sociopathic father, seeking dominance and control. This Disorder can be genetic but is made permanent through environmental factors. My mother was a bimbo and only cared about herself and her looks...so it was a lot more easy to get away with doing bad things compared to all the other children.

Another thing to keep in mind. I have read that we female sociopaths "are not as violent as males, yet are more sneaky than them," This could not be true or more false. Female sociopaths can be extremely violent and aggressive. I know I can!

And having a career as a fulltime Nurse I have seen and witnessed some crazy things when dealing with patients who were diagnosed as Sociopaths. I have witnessed a female Sociopath threatening terrible things to another girl in a Psych ward I worked in once and almost beating her to death and cracking her head wide open with the things around her such as books and chairs. But all Sociopaths are dangerous, male or female. Everybody knows that. So it's not THAT surprising.

Yet men, Sociopathic or not, are seen as much more masculine and tougher and Macho in our society and this is why people mistake them to be more violent when it reality this is not the case all of the time. Either way, due to the no Conscience factor we Sociopaths are more capable of bloody murder than a normal empathetic individual. So.... If you know someone who is Diagnosed as a real functioning "Sociopath".....just stay away! It is not a Disorder that can be fixed. Period!

*Kei$ha Voice* WE ARE WHO WE ARE!!! :)

We do not feel guilty for the terrible things we do to people. We will say sorry but we don't mean it. I heard this saying "they know the words but not the song." We know exactly what to say but deep down we do not mean it.

Difference between Narcissists and Sociopaths:
Narcissist need people because they live off "Narcissistic supply" aka: needing constant attention, admiration and so forth. They will ignore people who give them attention and act Superior to those who are around them. Lots of Celebrities are Narcissists due to the fact people follow their every move and "worship" them. Such as people like Heidi Montag, Wendy Williams, Miley Cyrus IS A BIG NARCISSISTIC BIOTCH! Mariah Carey. I met Zooey Deschanel at a party back in 2007 before she shot the Syfy 'Tinman' mini series, (She is absolutely terrible!), that Tranny chasing Charlie Sheen, Kenye West, Nicki Minaj, Paris Hilton, the ENTIRE Kardashian family and cast of the Jesery Shore, Tyra Banks, Niomi Campbell, Justin Beiber or Ashton Kutcher, Amanda Bynes...just to name a few. People who are not Narcissistic? Beyonce Knowles! (I know that is hard to believe but she isn't, just an opportunist).

They say they need their "privacy" and tell the Paparazzi they need their space yet it's only obvious that they love every minute of it. They also lack traits of empathy and have rather "cut throat" personalities. And only do things for others to make themselves look good in the public eye. And if the Narcissistic individual doesn't get enough attention they will find a million ways to get it somehow rather it be good publicity or bad. If not they can even become Depressed. Now a true Sociopath does not "need" people like a Narcissist. A Narcissist uses others for attention and power mainly when it comes to their image or careers. But the Sociopath uses others for personal gain and source supply, such as a roof over our heads and money. Or some sort of entertainment for our own personal amusement by destroying or shattering the hopes and dreams of our victim for fun. Which a Narcissist would find pointless or overly exhausting because they are too wrapped up within themselves. But us Sociopaths...we are like the Energizing Bunny who can keep going and going and going! We keep Destroying and Destroying and Destroying! :)
Porcelainfacedkiller Porcelainfacedkiller
26-30, F
24 Responses Sep 17, 2013

don't sociopaths also want attention? Not in the way a narcissist is, but rather in a way that they simply wish to be noticed and possibly feared? Is that really something you can desired without having feelings? what is your opinion?

So I'm just trying to understand how you became aware that you are a sociopath? Were you diagnosed or is this a self-diagnosis? Is there ever a time where you get a genuinely good feeling from doing good for others or does that never matter? Does it ever bother you that you will never feel true love or trust for someone? Can you feel it for your own children? So many questions I have about this. I find it extremely interesting and a bit scary because I think I know a few people in my close circle that are this way.

If you want to talk to me, just message me

I recently learned about sociopaths unfortunately after a lot of pain. I almost committed suicide a few times and he tried to give me hiv. I grew up with this person, never knew he suffered the way he did and definitely never knew about the dark side. Everybody loves him. Some even after he burns them. But I'm not sure if he is a sociopath or narcissist, because he does complain about feeling lonely where he moved and he claims to suffer from depression. I think it's all part of his act to manipulate although wouldn't a sociopath get depressed if they don't have anyone to feed off of?

Most likely no.

Have you killed anyone?

Not yet.

I will add my family experience, I am not a sociopath, my mother is, my younger brother is, my ex-husband is, both my children (by him) are.

It seems to me that a sociopath, based on your description, is inherently short-sighted. First, because we are the universe observing and interacting with itself, and hurting yourself is simply counter-productive. Second, because learning more about our world will increase our collective quality of life; the sociopath included. Deliberately hurting "others" takes away from this collective upward march, by potentially holding back those who might contribute to it.

Let's imagine that before he had made his contributions to physics, Einstein had been emotionally ruined by a sociopath, and thus never made those contributions. Replace Einstein with anyone who has had a significant, positive impact on society.

Let's imagine that there were never any sociopaths, or psychopaths, or any ill-willed individuals throughout history. Imagine that struggles for resources are what drove progress and innovation, and that today, we were thousands of years more technologically advanced. Let's say you became the first sociopath ever. You could be doing all the destroying you wanted, inside of some virtual reality world, which you wouldn't even be aware of, and you would have limitless power to do anything in the world that you wanted to do. That seems like it would be markedly better than having limited resources, and having to spend your precious time acquiring them.

Even if one REALLY doesn't care at all, about the damage they do to others, living to destroy is a complete waste of time, at best. In reality though, it's actively detrimental to the sociopath as well. You didn't say anything about hating yourself, or seeking to punish yourself, so it stands to reason that this line of thinking should actually make you want to be altruistic.

Real nice P

I can't believe there are actually people here arguing about being a "wannabe sociopath". I came here looking for answers and found the article helpful and informative while reeking with rude sarcastic remarks, which can't be considered offensive since we are talking about sociopaths. I think my sister might be one and I bet she thinks I am one or maybe we both are or neither. I was just trying to learn and it helped me so thank you.

What about a narcissistic sociopath?

Same thing. Not all narcissistic people are sociopaths but most sociopaths are narcissists. Make sense?

What an incredibly interesting read! So does this mean a sociopath (in general) has the inability to love? If this is the case then being in a so called ''caring'' employment role would not be fulfilling? And surely if a person with this disorder continues to destroy other peoples emotional stability and essentially the other person's life, does this mean the sociopath should not be in contact with other people who are classed as sane?? If two sociopaths came together, they would normally not get on or fight due to competition? I'm fascinated by mental health and i think its very brave to be so honest.

I don't think Sociopathic people feel the same type of "love" because are emotions are what one could call ''Impaired''. We may feel warmly to family or co-workers but love? No.

It's weird how horny this made me. I wanna **** a sociopath


Recently I've been intrigued with the definition of a sociopath. A friend of mine has been diagnosed several personality disorders, including "sociopathic tendencies" by a well known psychologist. It is interesting that all 3 of the theories you described above do not fit in his circumstances. He grew up in a very loving environment, with well to do parents and siblings, and as far as I know, (since I've known him when we were 3) a very functional and happy home. Yet it is unlikely an of his ancestry experienced any form of mental disorder or sociopath/psychopath experiences from what I do know. He is the only member in his large family to have a lack of emotion towards anything.

He has always been like this since young, often aggressive and violent. He is also exceptionally intelligent and eloquent if he wants to be. One of the personality disorders he is diagnosed with is selective mutism and displays very antisocial behaviour. What I am curious is how he fostered this. Was he just simply born this way?

I cant say. It's different for everyone. I wouldn't want to give you mis information, I can only speak for myself.

Very interesting response. Why would you not want to give misinformation? I mean you could be lying, but if you sincerely mean that, you sound like a typical, altruistic person. Inherently helpful unless otherwise motivated. Do you think that your sociopathic tendencies only surface when your wants/needs come into conflict with someone else's?

I've never met that peron. That is why. And I am not lying, what would I gain from that? I write stories cause I'm bored, and use this as an outlet to talk feely without worrying the people in my life finding out.

Just a note. I had a family member with a similar background as you describe. He was placed on Levaquin and it changed his personality forever. He stopped feeling completely. I don't think he went so far as to be sociopathic but even his ability to tell hot from cold went away. And since the incident, he's very distant from his family with whom he was incredibly close previously. Emotions were just gone and it's never been the same. You might look in that direction for an answer. Just a thought for you.

Levaquin is an antibiotic. Are you saying an antibiotic changed his personality? I find that very interesting to say the least.

That sounds horrible!

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The only thing that could possibly be worse than being a sociopath would be convincing yourself that you are one to shield yourself from your own lack of emotional intelligence, responsibility and awareness, which is what I'm seeing in some of these comments and replies. To be fair, the way you articulated this post implies that you either genuinely feel this way, or have educated yourself thoroughly enough to convince people that you are a sociopath. I am genuinely intrigued by, and curious about sociopaths, often to my own detriment; I believe that I know a few, one of them was a girl I was seeing recently and another is one of my best friends. I don't feel like I am in danger with these people because of how aware I am of their inability to feel, and I think I provide enough entertainment and fun to justify my existence, even if they have absolutely no genuine emotional attachment to me. The thing that really makes me curious about sociopaths is how you feel when you are on your own. Both of the people I know that I am convinced have ASPD suffer from depression, are extremely sexually charged, manipulative, and charismatic. Now of course I am aware that just because sociopaths share a generalized incapacity for empathy and certain emotional complexity, doesn't mean you are all the same; and I am curious from your perspective what you look for from relationships from other people, if you take emotional connection out of the equation. Yes of course, you can manipulate for money, shelter, etc.. that goes without saying, but what if you're dealing with someone who is acutely aware of your dysfunctional brain patterns and you cannot manipulate them to accomplish what you desire. Is this person then completely expendable? Or can you still enjoy their company in a distant, game-like sense?Is human interaction purely a game for you, is essentially my question.My honest opinion ba<x>sed on my research with sociopathy is that these people (sociopaths) are simply malfunctioning human beings; at least ba<x>sed on our common, historical understanding of what identifies us as human beings in a society. They are incapable of contributing anything genuine to the universe and instead seek simply to manipulate what is already in existence. Simply by existing the way you do, you people are my mortal enemies in a grand, ideological sense and oppose everything I stand and fight for; yet I still enjoy your presence and pointlessly attempt to empathize with your emotional disability. What a chump I am ahhahaha

I think you have been conditioned by society to believe that because you lack the emotional capability to empathize, that your goal then should be to destroy. Think of what you can accomplish unburdened by guilt, shame, or fear. I understand it would be the same to you if you were having fun building or destroying; but if you build and still enjoy it, while we all get to enjoy still being alive and well; why not try it out.

Why not keep your opinions to yourself?

Typical "sociopathic" response, when you call them out on something they don't like to hearing (usually because it's true) they'll turn things around with a "you" statement.

Very clever girl... :)

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It was a good read, I am the male version of a sociopath. Luckily I have a very strong sense of logic so I do not act out in violence unless I absolutely am sure that there are no repercussions. Oddly though how I feel about everything is it's like sitting at a dinner table... if you pull out a knife it's unusual however it isn't that hard to defend against, when it comes to real situations when people are angry I just soak it in and retort with something that feigns their interests... regarding where we came from, it could possibly be hereditary... my grandfather was bipolar, my dad has anger issues (never abusive though), and well I somehow came out very calming and able to "win" what I want sometimes through unethical means... along with of course the many many people I have sex with to get them to do something for me later. The best quote of this piece by far; however must have been "They said they think us Sociopaths see crying as a weakness" as I've believed this quote my whole life... either way well written.

i might be one because i just don't care. at night i tell my self i have no feelings and i'm evil my family treats me like **** all ways wanted to destroy the lives of the ones who ever hurt or bullied me and make them scream and beg to lives till they are mangled but really. am i one read my response and ask why is he so evil or whats wrong with him well where simply just like you but a little hollow perhaps. i have been searching the internet for quiet some time on how to become a sociopath you all can call me a wannabe but i don't care others say i'll just laugh i can say i have a lot of hatred and anger rage and stupidity there is all kinds of sociopaths secret ones angry power hungry smart ones or dumb ones i'm not as evil as you think just by reading this you have to get to know the person fist want to know more about me simply ask

haha ur an idiot, ur not a sociopath, ur a wannabe pretend sociopath and ur stupid

It's You're or Your...not "Ur" who's the Idiot? It's definitely not anyone over here. Learn how to spell, before you try and insult someone and get shut down. Idiot.

I spell like that because I want to and I don't care what you think of it either. At least i'm true to myself and not forcing myself to be someone that i'm not like the idiot above my previous comment. lol 'porcelainfaced killer' i think ur a wannabe too goodbye.

Oh how tragic that the mundane anonymous decides to run away after trying to call people they don't understand "wannabe pretend" and "stupid" what a colloquial fool.

And I think you need to go back to school and get a proper education my dear. GOOD RIDANCE! Don't let the door hit you on the way out!

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Most of my life nobody really knows who I am. I'm charismatic, Sure. I just don't see why people are so caring. Like you said,whoever you are, its probably in my genes. I've been abused but was told it was for my own good. My own good would be to stab this person in the heart. When people fake being a sociopath it really makes my blood boil. Why the **** would you want to guess what everyone is feeling all the time and give a corresponding response. Anywho its good to see someone knows what's going on.

i wasn't always like this but somehow i became who i am today. i don't view myself as a normal person i think of myself as a puppet master i get such an adrenaline rush watching people slowly fall for my charm and slowly give me their trust until i can use it against them.

Envy this.

That's like me saying I envy people who have no legs so I don't have to face the burden of walking. get your head out of your *** and enjoy what you DO have

God that does sound exhausting. I have respect for your dedication to your destruction. Me being a Narcissist I can agree with what you have typed, there is a deep underlying destruction to what I do. But it is not aimed at everything, and I can turn it off for certain people I care about more than everyone else. So I still have a large part of my conscience. If I ever meet a sociopath it will go like this, Learn, Avoid, or destroy depending on if they decide to try and **** my **** up in any given situation, or me them.

I believe the sociopath has failed to bond to another human being, and instead they bond to ideals, a physical landscape or even their own twisted reflection. This results in close intimate contact with other human beings feeling like an incursion onto the virgin soil of the sociopathic psyche-as the sociopath has no way to access or process emotion, joy may have the same violation profile as hatred (due to lack of negative reinforcement). So a part of the sociopath is always poised on the knife edge of FIGHT-FLIGHT-endless vigilance that exhausts and no respite, just an alternative state of being that the empathic and neurotypical will have to adapt to and learn to channel. Maybe we exists to do and experience things that would undo the softer more fragile souls of the empaths.

Now this, is an interesting and potentially profound perspective. Let's consider situations where sociopathy could actually be a virtue. Unfortunately in our existence on this planet there are often terrible, questionable things that have to be done that would potentially destroy someone who you describe as "empathic and neurotypical". Or even to use the art of manipulation towards a potentially positive goal. For example, I have a friend (who I'm convinced is a sociopath) who is incredibly full of ****, but excellent in a business environment. He can influence unaware, ignorant people very easily and has no fear or shame, and therefore is a very powerful tool for marketing my art (I am a musician). It's really a win-win, he gets the satisfaction of utilizing his skills to manipulate and grow businesses/ideas, I get to spread my music and art, and the only people who are hurt by it are the corrupt music industry drones that seek to keep us mentally enslaved. What I'm saying is, everything has it's use, everything has value in the right context. A different perspective/understanding, can be dangerous, or incredibly valuable.

I have a daughter just like you and I guess my question is she's 7 months months pregnant will having a baby change her ! She's one crazy violent ***** and it's out of my control!!

I advice you to read my story about us female Sociopaths and sex.

How do I get it, did you write a book?

Not yet.

love your reasoning


Who cares about the WHY? All of the above and none of it, depends who you're asking and on any day the answers are different.
Enjoy the BEING and leave the WHY to the biographer (if you are lucky) or the courts (if you are not) (or both if ya really hit the jackpot)

Interesting read all the same.

Maybe the difference is that female sociopaths are more adept at EMOTIONAL violence, which is no different than physical violence, and in many cases can be much more injurious to the recipient.