Self-deceiving Norm... All Over the Place

I am not a Sociopath, nor do I behave like one. I hate everything in this world - the people, their dogs, their cars, the tv, little animals that go "cheap," and even that new born baby that everybody thinks is so cute. I walk around alone; speaking to nobody. I have no want or desire to be a part of your life, and you are only a part of mine because it seems fitting for a purpose.  My relationships are one sided and all about what I can get outa it. I take what I want and wonder why you remain, still talking. Looking up at me with those calculating eyes trying to figure why I hate you all of a sudden. Respect is a made up word, and is only an illusion used to mislead the masses. I smile cause it makes you smile. I shake your hand and speak looking into your eyes cause it makes you feel at ease. You're at ease, but I am disgusted by your presence. I love to mislead and confuse, always without strategy. **** with peoples' heads, make them think and challenge their beliefs - a short lived experience quickly lost from my attention. I hunt animals to wound, to watch them as they suffer. Their reaction as I poke and prod them with sticks, or firing another round into their body. I curiously watch, not outa happiness, but fascination. Their pain seems so beautiful, so pure. lmao. On the other hand, I am a little *****, so-to-speak. I cower from confrontation; verbal and physical. I just cannot stand up for myself... until you hit me! I wish no conversation upon me for I cannot follow it, nor can I share my fuct up opinions with you. I have grown tired of the lieing, the conning. Being as you are. Instinctively, (much to my dissatisfaction) I respond as a good lil boy should. "Yes mamm, yes sir..." Polite, courteous and a push-over, I feel like a paradox! Believing one set of values and morals, but impulsively acting in the opposite without any control it would seem. A chair moves behind me and I become annoyed. My first instinct is to beat the ****** down with my chair. A 70 mph posture chair right at cha to calm your annoying antsiness. ... I do nothing instead. Caught up in the Super-ego. I know what to be right and wrong. I believe the wrong to righteous and free. I follow the right outa self-preservation, fear of consequence - even though I love to be punnished...? When the **** does this end? The beauty of no conscience at times; the chains of a conscience at most... Yes or no, one or the other...

RabbidChipmunk RabbidChipmunk
26-30, M
3 Responses Feb 27, 2009

You have a great moniker, RabbidChipmunk. It totally suits both the description of your personality and your writing style.<br />
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No clue if you're a socio or not, but some of your experiences do seem somewhat familiar. Either way, you're definitely a fine example of what's wrong with society. And yes, that's a good thing.

i seem to be avoiding that act. sounds glamorous and all, but i really don't want to deal with aftermath. lol

sounds like you've killed somebody already.