I find it amusing to no end that such a group was created.  Why would sociopaths conglomerate in a group where, if indeed the majority of the members are other sociopaths, they are constantly attempting to dominate each other through discussing better and better conquests? Additionally, is it so wise for sociopaths to join such a public, labeled group in an age of internet that allows for I.P. tracing and other high technology tracking?

As for meeting/developing a community of others like you - most but not all of the entries are filled with such a horrific mixture of syntactical mistakes and desperation that I feel like, well, damaging those that have dared to tarnish the label of a "sociopath." It disgusts me that this misrepresentation of Antisocial Personality Disorder to the public often leads me to be classified with overly emotional depressed individuals, but on the other hand, you receive my thanks for making it so much easier to mask my personality defects.

Why am I writing this? It is because the stories here have been amusing in the least and useful in the most.  It is highly entertaining to see so many individuals claim that they are sociopathic when they are clearly not (it does not matter to me whether you claim to be one or not, but please do not disgrace my condition on an online community where at least spellcheck exists), and useful in the sense that I can learn new excuses for masking certain sociopathic traits of mine. Reverse psychological engineering based on these stories from depressed individuals allows me to accumulate more knowledge and further refine excuses to explain my behavior "quirks." For that reason this community receives both my thanks and reciprocation.

Background information so that this entry is not devalued based on the semantics of experience: I currently attend an elite school in the US. Next year I will work for an elite firm.  From this, you should be able to understand that I am right now playing a game for long-term power that stretches far beyond the reach of my immediate friends and family.  I was lightly diagnosed with APD after a bloody incident at the age of 5. Experiences that validate this label are irrelevant as I find no pleasure in sharing them on an anonymous online forum without physical interaction and the ability to watch an individual's reaction. I have for the most part been able to channel my violent and sadistic tendencies into healthy outlets.  I am extremely involved in the domestic abuse, rape, and suicide prevention movements, though not because I care (that is the standard lie), but because I enjoy being immersed in a world of violence and pain.  Living vicariously through survivor stories whets but does not satisfy my appetite for actions that I have learned are troublesome in the long run.  But for now, it is enough to play in this way.

atem4416 atem4416
18-21, F
17 Responses Apr 23, 2009

at least someone gets it

I know this is a random shot, but I am searching for someone (preferably female for being able to relate to situation) to give me some insight to help my 15 year old step daughter. I am not an expert, but since I have met her, she has appeared to mimic feelings of all sorts. She used to cry when one should laugh and laugh when one should cry. She never shoes remorse unless she shows the little bit she was taught to show she cares. She does not care about consequences in the least. I met her at the age of 10 and it was like meeting 5 year old at best. She was labeled as conduct disorder from the school counselor,since she was first admitted into school system and of course they will not do any definite diagnosis until she's of age. Her dad is one not to believe in the whole mental health thing, so this has been her and my battle alone for many years. We have had to find that balance of a new relationship. Now, I have raised her the last 6 years with emphasis on how you would perceive things and react so she is not a total social outcast. Please know this is an honest attempt to help a child and though I am ever so aware of some peoples insincerities, I don't have time to waste with this next phase she just entered into with boys and all. Up until now we have pretty much kept a very tight accountability of her. With age and all, we loosened the ropes, and let her spend the night with a friend due to the friend's sweet sixteen birthday party being the next day. After the police knocking on our door at 4 am, we had to go to pick her up from a 19 year old boys parked car. Her father and I are really worried for her future as we have so much invested in undoing the wrong doings of the drug habit her mother had while pregnant. I don't want her to be diagnosed before her time, and no med would fix things, so any sincere advise would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance. Sorry so long but whoever had written the post in which I responded to, does seem to be aware of this condition, and I do wish you all the best:)

This is an interesting post. I enjoyed reading it. I am here because I like knowing that I am not the only one out here. Especially in my town. Additionally, so many people search for answers in there true selves, why can't sociopaths do the same? I am not doing this, of course, but I stated that as a mere generalization.

Oh, and not every sociopath tries to establish dominance. We are not all exactly the same. Some have more emotional intelligence (haha) than others and some don't want to waste their time with this.

good for you stand up to all this god damn BS.

God that was boring. Shut up

So I really only have one question: how do you stay focused on the same thing?

How do you keep from changing schools/jobs? I guess I am asking how does one harness such self control? Or do you not get bored? If not than what technique do you use to help you in that?

Boredom is a symptom of depression and other anxieties. To deal with these feelings it would probably require the guidance of an educated professional, and an interest on your part to deal with past traumas, self exploration, and a willingness to change your behavior.

Thanks for the laugh, mate. :D


Adopting new "techniques" is by definition changing your behavior. You asks for techniques and I illuminated a path for you to follow. There are many scientific studies that indicate a correlation between boredom and depression. These symptoms indicate that you were over an extended period of time exposed to psychological/ emotional abuse with out resources or knowledge on how to adequately protect or defend yourself against it. Coming to an online community like this is a good start. If you are not willing or unable to find an educated guide, then book stores or libraries would be a good place to go. Either self help or a psychology section, even sociology studies can help. Don't expect the first book or two to be able to give you enough knowledge to find the "techniques" you need, usually the more you read, the more you communicate, and the more you lend yourself to communities online or otherwise the more chance you have of finding resources to meet your needs.

So big fan of psychology today magazine?

Did you ever read that article they had on boredom and false ADHD diagnosis of children with high IQ?

I don't think it is possible for a sociopath to be depressed. Correct me if I am wrong but depression is feeling of loneliness and hopelessness. You really think a sociopath can feel that?

I have only read a handful of those magazines, but I have a wide interest in social science itself and a collection of books. There are many different feelings associated with depression. It is entirely possible for a sociopath to feel depression, hopelessness etc. Sociopaths have emotions, they are still humans, they lack some elements in the wide range of emotions people experience. Loosing interest in activities is a common symptom of depression, a general feeling of being tired, unmotivated. Where as other anxiety problems are not described as depression, they could have high energy but are hyper alert as a result of various stress factors. Many people would of course say that those who have committed school shootings were sociopaths, I would think that at the moment they decided to carry out their actions that they knew would result in their own death or loss of freedom so to speak (prison) is akin to hopelessness. Children with high IQs are bored specifically in the class room, because if you were to put me in an elementary math class I would be bored to, I wouldn't be learning anything new. If those kids are given the resources to indulge their interests they wouldn't feel bored. Sometimes people manipulate because they are trying to get needs met. The desire to cause pain or to harm is motivated by anger, in the extreme, rage. Anger is an emotion like any other emotion, it motivates us to action. Guilt and shame motivate inaction. It can feel painful to feel shame. Especially in the mind that is intent on carrying out a certain path of action, in anger desperation, shame, guilt are hurtles. Most children learn it is safe to feel shame and guilt, because in healthy families we are comforted, a type of reward for being a cooperative member of the social group. Children who are essentially abandoned, or severally abused never learn to bond and to feel certain emotions that keep us in a web of social cohesion. Sociopaths feel alienated and rage because of that alienation, that is a type of loneliness.

Wow. You are just delicious all around.

1. Even when someone has scored high on the Boredom proneness scale people with actual education in the field of psychiatry know to look for other symptoms before committing to a diagnosis. Boredom is a symptom of a wide and diverse range of conditions, like brain damage, high IQ and ADHD just to name a few. But anyone who bothered to look up anything on a sociopath would know that boredom is a very common problem. Sociopath goes through life the same way a kid goes through toys, always wanting the next shinny new thing.

2. People who are over stimulated all the time feel boredom more often. Like say an adrenaline junky needs more stimulus on average. Being an adrenaline junky is one of the common traits associated with sociopathy

3. Those studies you mentioned also showed that men are more prone to boredom yet there are a significantly higher number of women diagnosed with depression. And really it's worth mentioning a bell curve here, after all statistics is researchers best friend.

4. You see a distinction of boredom from under stimulation like say if you are forced to sit in elementary math class, but you fail to see how it applies to a job?

5. The great blunderers, the nose stickers, the pop psychology pushers, how fun you all are. Truly. But would it be too much to ask, you know how to read before you jump into a fray and start handing out diagnosis to people you never met? Like for example did you notice how many personal pronouns I used? Did I ever really indicate anything other then a curiosity for the fabled unicorn of a consistent sociopath?

6. As for the rest of the soup you have written on sociopathy even a measly BA in psychology would **** themselves laughing. But being dense is curable with a bit of education. So I will mention this: sociopaths do not act out of anger, they act out of desire. If someone happens to get hurt, a sociopath is hardly to blame. Maybe if people stop being so sensitive this wouldn't be a problem. Back to statistics for a minute. When you analyze a group of sociopath some of them are bound to be from bad family situation and some are from the good. The little research that was done into sociopathy shows no correlation between family life and the disorder. However there have been some studies that indicate heridity. Overall an overwhelming majority agrees that sociopaths are born not made. I recommend reading more on amygdula, brain formation, and memory formation.

And finally I would just like to encourage everyone to stop with the psychology and try a real science like maybe neurobiology, biochemistry and genetics.

I didn't diagnose anyone, I merely stated a fact. Boredom is a symptom of depression, that doesn't mean I told anyone they had depression, of course it requires a more in depth investigation. It is entirely possible for a sociopath to be depressed and lonely. I think most of your assumptions are incredibly false. You contradict yourself when you try to reference studies to back your opinion that you then say are impossible to draw conclusions from because there is no scientific process by which to measure the accuracy of a hypothesis from. Social Science is more complicated then the physical sciences, especially because our personal emotions bias us.

" interest on your part to deal with past traumas, self exploration, and a willingness to change your behavior." "You asks for techniques and I illuminated a path for you to follow. " were in paragraphs addressed specifically to me, which also included the diagnosis of depression caused by abuse non the less. I can back up every claim I made, and my point exactly is that social sciences while are fun to explore, are teaming with bias, inconsistency and are not based on hard facts. Sociopath can feel depressed as much as a deaf person can write a symphony. I am sure there is one that can, but really is that any way to prove your point? I would love to actually have a real debate with you, If you would go to my profile I have a story addressed to you. We can explore it point by point.

5 More Responses

I find this entry interesting, and - if I were to assume that you are genuine in what you claim - you seem to be one of the 'real' sociopaths.
To answer your question about why there is a group here; why not? Everyone, even sociopaths, get bored. I'm here because I'm bored, and it very well may be that you are here for the same reason.
Also, I doubt that the tracking of IP addresses and the publicity of the group is even a problem. Who cares about a bunch of people who may or may not be sociopathic chatting on the internet? Honestly.
But I must say, I am a bit upset at the amount of people mislabeling themselves as sociopaths and making fools of themselves, as well as the rest of us.

Maybe you are referring to a person who could actually get diagnosed as a sociopath, and others who are not as far down the spectrum but who otherwise want to adopt the label sociopath. It is possible those people you speak of would better fit the label narcissists rather than sociopaths.

Well, the hubris in your comments and your over abundance of boasting your credentials for attention and admiration makes me think you are more a Histrionic or NPD than sociopathic.

oh come out you ****. tell of all the pain and suffering they tell you off. tell your fantasies and what gives pleasure to your deliciously evil side, curtsy of god.

This is awesome! Real sociopaths! Oh, wait, I've known a least ten, or something. You know what's funny about being a sociopath, is that you can never know true victory. It's always empty. In the end anyway. I'd rather be self realized, like Hannibal Lecter. But not that crazy. Or maybe you have to be that crazy. Or maybe I'm just dreaming, and by having created you all, it makes me God. Then I wake up with a hangover in an empty bed, in the basement of a house on the **** end of town. Truth is more intereseting to me, Mr. Help-Hotline. You want to feel the pain for real, you have to live it.

I get so irritated by the use of the word "god." First off the majority of the time the term is used it refers to a mythical delusional belief in an invisible person with unlimited power. The good majority of the time the land of supposed "religious freedom" pretends like polytheism doesn't exist, in which case, the gods have competitors. In theism there is no competitor which makes me think the anti-theists have a real good case to argue the destructiveness of the theistic religions. The envy and worship of a single androgen god that has no competitors. The word is a personification of the concept of power. With the advancement in human knowledge, we now know those members of a social species who are most desperate for power ironically feel completely powerless, arguably in any moment they aren't exerting power over another person or thing, so the compulsion for power is a dependency, like a drug addict.

About the I.P. tracking methods, some of us have that issue taken care of. As for me, I bounce a signal from somewhere else and run it through a coder, thus making my I.P. anonymous, even the email I shared with this site is a 'dump' email that contains no contacts or real information.<br />
<br />
So, before you claim that people who share certain things in a group such as this must be 'fools' please consider the possibilities.

i applaude your awareness of the grimness of the situation, but frankly you don't sound like u know wtf ur talking about on the technology aspect. i.p? signal? nigga this ain't no wachamajiggy!

wouldn't it be easier just to use an ip scrambler, easily downloaded, samurai used to be good, but haven't seen it around for awhile

Tehehe, I know Gewissenlos. That's why this group is so terribly delightful. The thinking that goes on here is so utterly convoluted, and yet it makes so much sense.<br />
<br />
And no, Atem, you didn't hit a nerve. Rather, I find everything about conversations like this to be quite entertaining. Well, that or you did hit a nerve and I'm cover it up by saying this. I'd say more or less exactly the same thing in either case, so I suppose I'll just have to leave it up to you to decide which.<br />
<br />
I'd be more worried about being identified by someone I know than by the government. My "clashes" with the law, as you phrase it, are invariably of the quiet, under-the-radar sort that don't attract government agents to track down my IP. I can't imagine wanting anyone I know in person to read this stuff, though. It could lead nowhere good.<br />
<br />
As for "reverse psychological engineering", well, what can I say. I've learned something. You must admit, though, any concept which combines the word "psychological" and "engineering" is a most unlikely prospect.<br />
<br />
And I find undermining your superiority to be a perfectly valid way of asserting mine. Hypocritical much? I know. I find conversations of this nature to be delightfully paradoxical. I hope that I might learn something from you as well.

are you a ****?

@Phage, common to most sociopaths is this compulsion to flatter their listeners. Atem might very well be thinking you are a dumb **** but then compliments you because it lowers defences. Oh the minds of these lost souls are so intriguing.

As for being watched on the internet. "Being a sociopath" in itself is no issue. Discussing crimes, committed crimes and violent fantasies certainly are as you have pointed out. Now look at that stupid med student kid who they claimed went and killed a bunch of girls. Why find victims on craigslist is all I am saying.

There is no doubt in my mind after reading this that this was written by the real deal. Sehr gut. Dein Text ist amüsant und gut geschrieben. Mach weiter!

Exceptionally valid points, though the annoyance I gather from your terminology seems to me that I've hit a nerve. I apologize in advance for whatever misunderstanding is between us.<br />
<br />
I would like to make a few fundamental corrections to your critique though: nowhere in my post did I state that this group is pointless. Rather the opposite, it is highly entertaining and has caught my interest. And you should understand that it is a compliment rather than a statement meant to belittle the content of the experiences here, because they are valuable to me as knowledge. My major qualm is the readability and the dangers involved in sharing violent, "sociopathic" experiences when you could be easily tracked down with the technology these days - after all, the reason you're all typing here is your ability to subvert the law despite your many clashes with it.<br />
<br />
Additionally, "reverse psychological engineering" - please take a look regarding the methodology behind evolutionary psychology. The entire field is based on first identifying an adaptive problem, then identifying possible psychological mechanisms that may have evolved to deal with the problem. Certainly, my usage is unorthodox and I thank you for correcting my loose use of the term, but the fundamental principle remains the same - I "reverse engineer" believable stories after reading about the mindset of those with a more believable, popular condition like depression.<br />
<br />
I also find it quite interesting that the majority of your response attempts to undermine my notion of "superiority." Not that I mind it, but it is entertaining nonetheless. The angle of approach is novel and your language is beautifully clean and made me laugh a few times. Good job!<br />
<br />
This is very fun. I hope I can learn something different from you, so please feel free to tell me more things.

Welcome to the group, you'll fit right in.<br><br />
<br><br />
No, seriously, you will. In trying to make yourself out to be better than everyone else, you've actually conformed to what I would consider to be an unfortunate cliche for this group. You obviously read at least a few of the stories here to have made your comment about grammar and spelling, so perhaps you've noticed an underlying theme in at least a third of the entries. I'll give you a hint, they're all just like yours... except, perhaps, your spelling is a bit better.<br><br />
<br><br />
See, you're right that we do, to one degree or another, all vie for dominance in or own ways. A particularly popular method is to make yourself look good by trying to make everyone else look bad.<br><br />
<br><br />
So you say the group is pointless. It's not, or you wouldn't be posting here, but it's a nice way to make yourself seem better than the rest. Too bad it's been done half a dozen times before.<br><br />
<br><br />
Then you assert that few if any of the people here are actually deserving of the title of sociopath. This has been done to death. Time for a new strategy. And no, "thanking" people for making it easier to hide among the baa-ing masses isn't new either.<br><br />
<br><br />
Assuming you are in fact a sociopath (and I will give you the benefit of the doubt, after all you seem a lot like many of the people here who lay claim to the same title), you no doubt have little or no sense of reciprocity. You're not posting this to say thank you or to somehow return the favor for some insight you've gained, you're posting to say you're better than everyone here. Duh. Can you get any more transparent?<br><br />
<br><br />
There is simply no such thing as "reverse psychological engineering." It's a cool, technical sounding phrase, though, so perhaps I'll have to use it sometime.<br><br />
<br><br />
Your background information is, again, so very familiar. Vague and yet important sounding, with no real specifics. You are clearly important and well off and on your way up to top. You're better than everyone else here, right? After all, you're a sociopath, so of course you're telling the truth.<br><br />
<br><br />
Hell, I could be wrong, you could be telling the truth. But if you are, you're doing a really bad job of it. Your use of the word "elite" is especially unfortunate. Think about it, who actually says "elite school"? An elite university perhaps, an elite private school, or what have you are a lot better. An "elite firm" is even worse. It honestly sounds like you don't know enough about "elite firms" to specify a type.<br><br />
<br><br />
The fact that you feel the need to justify your reasons for not sharing the details of your childhood APD diagnosis (especially one which sounds so interesting as a bloody incident at age 5) is unnecessary and, again, suggests that you are lying. Actually, you use a lot of justifications. Why on earth should you feel a need to justify yourself or your actions?<br><br />
<br><br />
So like I said, welcome, you'll fit right in here. I really do hope you'll find yourself inspired to try more interesting, and less cliche, ways of telling everyone here that you're better than they are.