An Honorable Sociopath?

Every variation of the human condition is possible and will inevitably occur.  I have every symptom of sociopathy minus the pleasure of inflicting harm on (innocent) others.

I would make an ideal candidate for an assassin or member of a military who kills without remorse, however, I see the lies in each and every school of thought, and people are pale cardboard cutouts.  So i could never be that type of assassin.

Is there anyone who can relate to me.  I know i could kill without the slightest bit of remorse, and I have every criteria of being a sociopath except for unneeded sadism.  However, I will never be a serial killer.  Is this just evolution?

Can anyone relate?

Oh and if you don't like my spelling I will come slit your throat in your sleep.

Yours Truly,

Scott

thejustifieddahmer thejustifieddahmer
26-30
14 Responses Apr 30, 2009

I thought u said u didn't like killing innocent people. Please make up ur mind

I don't think you are the only one, my friend. But, don't forget that being a Sociopath still obey to some rules, like... not every sociopath is the same, all of us (sociopaths) share common grounds, but we are particularly unique in some ways, sometimes.<br />
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I'm a sociopath myself, but I don't inflict damage neither.<br />
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I guess we are the kind of sociopaths who are willing to blur the lines between good and evil. We are the ones who will take our status/disorder further than most.<br />
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We might even proof we not all of us are a problem for society, that we can be unique and useful. We won't struggle with emotions as regular people does, but we will keep on trying to create the link in within our brains to see if we can actually connect with others. We will become someone's partners or husbands/wifes/what-not, we will use our skills for good and, even though we will hurt some in the process, but we won't be forgotten.

I'm fascinated by the emotions which I can't (or, in some cases, only very rarely) experience, but what I'm actually proud of is my rationality. Though I'm curious, how do you conclude that I'm hiding shame?

I'm curious to know which of the emotions you can't experience fascinate u

this one is also funny.

Yeah public chats are not the most trustworthy things to share sadistic personalities on I'd say XD<br />
I'm guessing there is just so much that hords of smileys and childish playful tones can makeup for in serious public declarations...<br />
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I love flowers and little rainbows! :D

"I AM TOO CONTROLLED TO PRECISE UNDERSTAND THESE FEELINGS. SO DAY TO DAY I PUT ON MY MASK AND BECOME ONE OF THEM......" You also type in all caps which is just plain annoying.

I'm commenting because I am amused by the very empty threat at the end of your story. Thanks.

I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE SAYING, I TOO HAVE AN ABSENCE OF FEELINGS, NO EMOTIONS. I PUT ON MY MASK AS I DO DAY TO DAY THINGS, I LAUGH AT JOKES AND SMILE WHEN SOMEONE WAVES AT ME BUT IN ACTUALITY I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY THEY DO THESE THINGS. I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY THE WOMAN IS CRYING IN THE CORNER OR THE MAN IS CUSSING AT TRAFFIC. I AM TOO CONTROLLED TO PRECISE UNDERSTAND THESE FEELINGS. SO DAY TO DAY I PUT ON MY MASK AND BECOME ONE OF THEM.......

I think "normal" people think these thoughts but most of them cancel them because it isn't really what they want in life. It's the sociopaths who dwell on these thoughts and embroider them with time and obsession. It goes along with the law of cause and effect - what we put out there comes back to us. Like Mike Dooley says and many before him have said, "Thoughts are things, so think the good ones". Even the Bible says, "As a man thinketh, so is he".

This is a great post cos its so different from the normal EP stuff I look at. Fatalcharm struck a chord when she talked about her dog. I have two dogs. They are mint. The other day they were lying in my front garden when a fuckwit walking past threw a beer bottle at them. It missed and they are so innocent they went to fetch it ..they thought this bastard wanted to play. I saw it from the front room. I went nuts. I never felt hatred, boiling resentment like it in my life. I would have shot this Mothe rwithout a thought. I ran out into the street. I didn't give him time to talk, think, do anything. I just kicked him in the balls.. speed of light. He lay there clutching his balls and I'm standing over him screaming come mother ****** kcik me kick my dog. Totally crazy. Don't thikn this qualifies me to join ur little group as a sociopath cos it just a form of rage. But when u love someone or some dog there's nothing u won't do. <br />
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I hope the sonof a ***** comes back for more.

The more I think about it, the more I'm sure everyone gets impulses of this nature... or at least of a similar nature.<br />
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I don't get them when I'm stoned or about to fall asleep, though. Usually I get them in relation to my surroundings. For example, cooking with someone and thinking how easy it would be to smash their head in with a frying pan, how one simple little impulse, if followed, would cause so much damage. It causes me a little anxiety when it happens, too.<br />
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I too wonder what it would be like to be normal. I'm not sure if it's better, but I am sure that it can be more fulfilling. Think about it, how often do you ever feel satisfaction, fulfillment? I rarely do, and pretty much exclusively as a result of those personality traits which I have that are not classically sociopathic.<br />
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On the other hand, I think "normal" people suffer a lot more pain, and perhaps more serious internal conflict. They're also a lot more vulnerable, or at least they tend to be.<br />
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I think it's a trade off on many levels, and I don't know which is really better. I certainly don't want to change, though.

i will be standing at a train crossing waiting for the train to pass and i will have this urge to jump in front of the train, i never do of course, and after the train has past my heart will be beating so hard coz im thinking "****, was i about to jump infront of that train?" the thing is, even though the urge to jump in front of the train was really strong, i know deep down i would never do it, but it freaks me out (back in high school this guy commited suicide by jumping in front of a train during school hours, a group of friends and i were some of the first ones there when we heared about it coz the train station was really close to the school, i saw the dudes torso and an arm flung across the tracks but we couldnt see the head, legs or the other arm, they were missing which i think is funny, where did they go? they just dissapeared! maybe they were mashed up in the wheels or something) and when im trying to relax, that ****** me off, -sorry, i dont know if im makeing sense at the moment, im a little drunk right now, been drinking wine, love the sh*t, but yeah, i will be trying to sleep and this random thaugh comesout of no where of me pokeing someones eyes out or like the other night, forcing someones hand into a blender, if im in a bad mood then these images dont bother me at all, i feed off of them almost, but when im in a good mood, thats the last thing i want to think about, i wanna think about happy things. its almost like whenever im in a good, positive mood, my subconcious says "haha, you cant escape your f*cked up side, i will follow you every where you go" im so moody, i guess everyone in this group is in a way. im not sure how it is for anyone else, but when i start to feel happy (feeling positive is a better way to describe it, i dont really know what true happyness is -probably my fault, i tend to **** things up for myself the moment i start to feel happy, on the surface i know that i deserve the world, but deep down i feel like i deserve to rot in hell sometimes) my subconcious wakes up and reminds me of who i am. it says to me "no your not ment to be happy, happy is for suckers, your ment to be a little twisted. things work better that way" <br />
i dont want to change, or be fixed because i have always been who i am and i dont know any better (i would love to say that it works for me but it doesnt, i have gotten myself into a huge mess at the moment that i cant just pack my sh*t and leave the area like i usually do, the mess is to big and i have burned all my bridges from past messes, so it looks like i have to stay and sort this one out. not only that but my dog is here and i have really never felt real love untill i met my dog, roxy. cant, wont leave her behind, she will love me no matter what state im in, she doesnt care, she doesnt even realise im in a bad state, she just takes me for who i am and loves me for it -this is why i like animals so much) but i do wonder what it would be like to be normal, or someone else. is it better? does it feel better to be normal? probably not but im still curious. do normal averadge people get the random violent thaughts? hope so, i hope they are disturbed by it. coz i am, lucky for me these random thaught arnt gonna pop into my head tonight, ive been drinking. but when im stoned, coming down from other stuff or sober/streight they pop into my head and they are so annoying. when your angry and want to rip someones face off with your bare hands, then these thaughts are welcome, bring them on! but sometimes i just wanna chill and forget that i have this side to me and thats when these thaughts pop into my head the most. cant escape ourselves.

Cardboard cutouts is my ex<x>pression, you can't have it.<br />
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Don't delude yourself into thinking that the military wants sociopaths. They want good, god-fearing Americans with strong senses of right and wrong, but who happen to be so twisted by patriotism that they would risk their lives for their country. Intelligence agencies want people of the same ilk, but whose personalities are even more distorted and for whom whatever their country (by which we mean whichever nutjob is higher than them in the chain of command) is always right, and anything done for it is always moral.<br />
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Being honorable, if in fact you are, is rather silly if you think about it. Honor is just another meaningless form of social control. Not that it necessarily follows from not being a sadist, though. Nor does not being a sadist preclude being a sociopath.<br />
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Fatalcharm, I don't know if it's the same thing, but I've had all sorts of random, gruesome, unwanted thoughts and impulses. Everything from feeling an urge to reach out and touch a hot burner to thinking I could kill someone I'm having a fling with and then rob them. Even if I kind of like them. Even if I really like them. It's very annoying.

haha, there are a couple of people here who get really worked up over bad spelling. they seem to get really offended by it, they dont realise that most people have better things to do than worry about their spelling. then there are others who dont get offended by insignificant bullshit. im a terrible speller but i dont give a rats arse, you can read what im trying to say, right?<br />
most people in here are a little sadistic, im not, i do think about physically hurting people a lot, but i dont get pleasure from it, its usually when im angry with someone and i just picture myself cutting their faces off or something messed up like that, but i think everyone thinks like that from time to time whether they are sociopaths or not. Its just a part of being human. one thing that really disturbes me though is when im in a good mood and i get these random thaughts, they just pop into my head, out of the blue. last night i was about to fall asleep and then this vision on me forcing someones hand into a blender just poped into my head, it was gross and made me cringe. i dont know where the thaught came from and i didnt get any pleasure out of it what so ever. i get that all the time, involentary thaughts. i hate them. it happens when im kissing my boyfriend (if i have one at the time), when im eating, when im trying to sleep and its worse when im stoned. im just saying this because i wonder if anyone else gets them? and im not talking about fantisy's im talking about thaughts that pop into your head, out of the blue, without your permission. i gotta admit though, i am a little nuts, i have a few issues. ive gone off the topic now, im rambling, what can i say? ive had a few glasses of wine and always ramble on wine.<br />
i remember what i was originally talking about now, the spelling and how it upsets some people. tell them to get a life!