I Don't Want to Be a Sociopath
There are some real fuggin brain dead idiots on here that are bragging about how "antisocial" they are like its somehow cool. Let me tell you something. Its not cool. I watch with dead eyes the devastation I cause in people's lives. These are good people that never see me coming. I'm not a pure psychopath that sets to con and cheat. It just happens.
I'll whirlwind through your life and leave you so spun you won't know what hit you. Is that bragging? No its unbelievable that I am capable of doing this kind of sh--. My current girlfriend I have been with for six years. I have "borrowed" over $30,000 from her mother. I even borrowed another ten thousand in her mom's name because I conned her into giving me her past years tax refund so I could review it. I feel bad about that.. kinda. Actually I just feel bad about the repurcussions.
I own a business that is seasonal and does well but when the winter comes around you don't think I am going to hold a phuckin mundane job for $12/hr do you? So my girlfriend pays my rent, gets me food and keeps me afloat until the weather breaks when I can bill $1500 per day for services. Oh yeah, my girlfriend gave me her inheritance from when her grandmother died so I could buy the equipment. I meant to pay her back.. I really did.
owww, I just felt a twinge of remorse.. okay its gone now..
I've convinced everyone in my life that I am an IVY league business graduate. Lawyers, therapists, judges.. I've spun all of them at some time or another. The last judge caught onto me though after my third jailing for contempt to pay child support. I owe $50,000 in back support and haven't spoken to my kids in 6 years. They live about 5 miles from me. Their good kids. its a shame I cannot attach to them like normal people. I mean I think I love them but do fathers do this? I feel nothing. I hope they do well but I don't cry or feel an emptiness. Instead of giving them anything last year, I wnet to Vegas and dropped $10,000.
I've done drugs, took steroids, post incessantly on business forums.. all to get some type of gratification that never comes. I'm a dangerous person. Not because I will rape you, hurt your children or hold a gun to your head. What i am is much more insidious. I will come to you with the $13,000 I put into my smile, a feigned kindness and ability to listen. I will let you tell me your problems as I make a mental checklist of those things when I will need them later to exploit you.
Do I need to go on? This is a fuggin sociopath. This is what I am. I'm a scumbag you better pray never comes into your life.
Edit: Interesting after two years people are still finding, reading and commenting. 2 years later and I am still me though I have mellowed a bit and come to a realization.. I don't really need to con that much. Just because I cannot feel does not mean I have to be a liar. Its just become easier to tell the truth. I have made it a goal to pay eveyone back (and I have). I've settled back taxes and child support is up to date. Business if good and life seems good. So I'll flash a big smile to everyone and well pretend I am happy. At the very least, I'm not unhappy. ;-)