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My Life As a Solitary Person

I am a Solitary Person all my life.  In some aspects, I feel it was meant to be.  It's a sense that just won't go away thru time.  I have a limited amount of friends, it also seems the closer I get to a friend, they move or they turn into a fake imposter, but that only has happened once.  It's sad that you think you know someone for so many years, to live with them in 2 months, you realize they aren't who they portray themselves to be. 

When I was young, my dad left to be stationed elsewhere.  I was a daddy's girl, but he never involved himself in most of my life.  He was stationed in the Phillipines when I was in the 3rd grade.  I had a best friend at the time, she told me she was going to move....so I broke off the friendship.  I would end a friendship if it got too close, I didn't want to be attatched to get hurt later.  I've stopped this after high school, but come to find out that it's hard to make friends, how do you reach out when I'm shy and somewhat quiet? I"m not a typical girl, I'm not into clothes shopping or doing nails. And the guys I've been friends with, well they are just after one thing.

I have learned to deal with just having a few friends, up to now.  But how do I reach out when I have this feeling that I'm a solitary person?  I am in a single moms group, yet when I'm in a group environment, I get this feeling that I'm invisible and feel that I could do anything and no one would notice what I do.  I hate that feeling.

 

For the most part, I don't mind being single.  But I do feel lonely and wish I have someone there who has the time to hang out and we can socialize and relate to one another. I'm finding that is a rare thing to have these days.

cali4ange cali4ange 31-35 2 Responses Mar 10, 2008

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I too am a solitary person. I dont discourage friends but I find that friendship for many people involves others only when they need something from them.



There is so much competitiveness in life today, and I am one of the most uncompetitive persons on the planet.



I dont care if people are better than me at many things, or if they like to show how much they know.



I am just happy to live my life as relaxed and content as I can. I dont feel any need to see far away countries or indulge in extreme sports just to get my kicks. I can be amazed just watching the patterns of white clouds floating across a blue sky, or listening to a bird singing in a tree.

I can completely relate to your story. I have lost every "true friend" I've ever known, so I too will not invest in friendship, also to avoid being hurt. I'm sure there are good friends out there but they must be extremly rare people. People today care only about themselves.