I May Have A Problem. But I Want Her.

i met this girl when i was in highchool. she was thin, and shy, gorgeous as ****. we went out for a short while but soon broke up. but we stayed in contact. the following year we had a private sexual relationship, during which i learned she was a masochist, and we practised bondage. i broke it off and dated another girl for a while. i still cant believe that im the one who broke it off. when me and the other girl broke up i propositioned her for sex, as she approached me the same way just after she broke up with her boyfriend. seemed like a good idea at the time. we went around a year without speaking before i reflected on how badly i ahd treated her. i facebook'd her and appologized. she accepted my appollogy but unfortunatly i was drunk and went on a rant. the next morning i sent her a message that i was drunk. naturally that was the last time we talked. i've also since then lost contact with a number of our mutual friends, and noticed that the ones that worked in the areas i frequented seemed to disapear. for the past year and a half i've been regularly going on her friends facebook profiles and looking at their pics of her. after some detective work i learned that if i punched a certain combination of words into google, that i could find her profiles on several other network sites. so i spent the last month or so looking at her pictures, reading her blogs, the ones about her new bfs, her art and poetry, and one short stint about how much shame i made her feel when she was bound to the bed post. earlier today i decided that my feelings were way too strong for someone i had a fling with almost 3 years ago. i tried blocking her firends so i couldnt acess their accounts, but i decided that the only thing i could do was delete my account. thats where i am now. im wondering if anyone has anything they can share or advice to offer me.
braindamage99 braindamage99
1 Response Jul 25, 2010

this is a really tough situation and Im not one to give advice on letting things go but...<br />
maybe a scenery change would help? i mean ive stalked exboyfriends before and i noticed it helped when i tried to get out of my room where my computer was because i felt like that whole environment was kinda set up just for that purpose. i would start there and then just try to back off the computer a little because that always helps. hope it all works out!